I'm really struggling to figure out the dynamics of our relationship right now. When I fell pregnant with my second child, it was a somewhat risky pregnancy and I was advised to stop working. Shortly after, we were given a no fault eviction notice by our landlord. After my c-section, I stayed with my mum as DH was poorly and I didn't want him passing anything onto the baby. She's helped me out massively when I was physically unable to do the things I normally do, but I've recently felt like she's interfering too much and is overly critical and controlling.
I have a cosmetic procedure costing £80 a year. She doesn't approve and told me I shouldn't have cosmetic procedures while we're financially struggling and can't find a place to live. Firstly, we're not "financially struggling". We're not well off by any means, but we're certainly not struggling to put food on the table. We've also applied for numerous rental properties in the area but haven't been successful. It's not for a lack of affordability, it's just that the rental market is so competitive right now. I started pointing this out and she told me that I'm not in my twenties, I'm a married woman with children and she doesn't understand why I'd waste my money on this stuff because it's shallow and vain. She's entitled to her opinion (and I'm sure she isn't the only one) but I really don't see how £80 a year will make a difference to our housing situation.
My son has ASD and gets overstimulated easily. When he's mid meltdown, I find trying to talk to him often makes things worse and I don't think he can even process words at that stage. I've told my mum this but she completely ignores me and insists on speaking in a loud voice and trying to comfort him by singing nursery rhymes, etc. It doesn't work and only makes him more wound up. I'll tell her he's overstimulated but she'll say it's because he's hungry/thirsty/tired, etc.
Speaks in a passive aggressive way through the baby, literally as soon as he starts crying... "Aww, we are so hungry aren't we. We're SO upset. Where's my milk, mummy? Not the bottle, mummy's milk. We don't want that bottled stuff." (Combo feeding but she's a huge advocate of breastfeeding). Said we never cried as babies because our needs were met straight away. Bullshit. I remember my younger siblings crying!
Any sign of clutter in my house and she's onto me, despite being no Martha Stewart herself.
I very rarely raise my voice at my 4-year-old but if I do - and she happens to be there - she'll tell me to calm down as I'm not dealing with him in the right way. He must be hungry or something. Again, she used to shout at us but she obviously doesn't like me pointing this out.
I guess the main issue is that I feel like she views me as incompetent, and it hurts. She didn't want me moving away as she wouldn't be there to "help me". When I pointed out that her parents lived in a different country, she said "yeah but that's different" but wouldn't tell me why it's different. I feel like all this contributes to my already low self-esteem.
Anyone else?