WWYD

[theresthesun]

MIL had DH very young and took him away when he was a baby and they moved abroad, away from his dad

DH moved back to this country after uni. His dad hasn’t seen him since he was a baby and as far as we know still lives in this country, with a family now.

We are getting married soon and starting to think about sending out invites for the reception. Would it be weird to invite DHs dad and by extension his family given they don’t know him at all? He’s always wanted to get back in contact but is a bit apprehensive. He doesn’t have much to do with MIL now & only has 4 family members on MIL side and its only his grandparents from there that really truly care about him and they may as well be his parents really

YABU- it would be weird
YANBU - why not they can only say no

Yeah that would be really weird. He's already apprehensive about meeting, your wedding really isn't the time or place for a reunion

By all means he should get in touch if that's what he wants to do, but I wouldn't use a wedding invitation as the first form of contact.

An invite to your wedding is huge. I think small steps would be better if he really does want to build a relationship with his dad. You also would want your wedding day to be about you both would.dnt you? Surely, if he did come, it would upstage the wedding? I wouldn't personally. Hope whichever decision you make turns out to be a positive one for you both.

It's a massive leap from no contact to invitation to a wedding.
You don't even seem to know where he lives let alone what he and his family are like. I take it the df didn't try and make contact in the years since he last saw your dh?
One Step at a time. Your dh needs to locate him and initiate contact.

If he wants to have contact then he should absolutely get in touch. But not with a wedding invitation.
Get in touch, make contact, start a relationship if the dad wants that too. Then think about the wedding invite.