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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or not?! Help

10 replies

nodeerinere · 01/07/2023 17:54

Hi all,

I'm generally very bad before my period. Like - an angry, paranoid, worried mess.

I'm premenstral - full disclaimer.

Due to go out for the day with partner and children tomorrow. My children and his are fairly different in age. Mine love his, his are a bit indifferent but manage a few hours! Haven't seen him for a week as he's been away.

Today he text me saying his friend had invited him to the same place tomorrow. So - he'll be there. I don't particularly like the friend or his girlfriend but I have maintained that's OK and I will tolerate for his sake. Friend has before made comments about women being ruined by having babies and said something about mine and his girlfriends stomachs when drunk. Place is a swimming place and I was looking forward to a swim.

Friend has two children the same age as my partner. If they are there, partner's sons will want nothing to do with mine.

Now - I was upset. Said the dynamic of the day would be different and I was a bit sad about that. Also that I may not swim as self confidence will be low. Partner basically said that it's not his problem/fault and was a bit of a wanker if I'm honest. Have told him to go on his own (don't necessarily mean it just cross).

So basically - am I being a hormone filled twat that needs a head wobble or would you be upset too?! Don't actually know what to do but my rational brain is not currently connected so could do with the wrath of Mumsnet to tell me.

OP posts:
JMSA · 01/07/2023 17:56

I don't think you're being unreasonable, and the friend sounds like a tit.

MollysBrolly · 01/07/2023 17:56

Why do let this person make your time shit. Don't give them the power to do this. Be you. If they make a comment you don't like either tell them or let it go but don't dwell on the negative they bring

BeautifulSloth · 01/07/2023 17:57

I wouldn't go. I would not want to be around someone that makes me feel uncomfortable when I'm in a swim suit. Leave them to it. Make some nice plans for you and your kids. You have to have boundaries.

Babsexxx · 01/07/2023 17:59

Well I’d he knows you aren’t mad about this friend as it is and he’s made comments about your stomach and the days planned swimming in costumes I presume then no yanbu!

But then I have a very much so idgaf attitude in my swimwear early twenties went completely to waste worrying!!

Id say you should of given me the heads up! I would of decided from there as me and the kids are now the 3rd wheel!

ZekeZeke · 01/07/2023 18:00

Let me guess yours are younger?
Best thing to do? Let your partner and his friends work away.
You do something with your own DC

Babsexxx · 01/07/2023 18:00

does he

Vinvertebrate · 01/07/2023 18:00

Do something fun with your DC and bin him and his twatty friend off.

nodeerinere · 01/07/2023 18:45

ZekeZeke · 01/07/2023 18:00

Let me guess yours are younger?
Best thing to do? Let your partner and his friends work away.
You do something with your own DC

Yeppppp! It's a bloody nightmare

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 01/07/2023 18:46

Ditch it and do something else more fun with your kids.

Irhfb · 02/07/2023 11:39

Just seen these messages. Hope you’ve gone off with your own children today. Doesn’t sound fun for any of you to be around that lot. X

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