Why are wedding gifts expected to be so expensive?

[Saqwk]

Wedding season and friend is getting married at the end of August. My plan was to give money towards the honeymoon but only about £40. All my other friends say they are giving £100 plus an extra gift. Bride said she wants money towards the honeymoon
Boyfriend said I should match this.

It's making me feel really anxious and I don't understand why so much is money is the norm? 2 people chose to get married so why is expecting their honeymoon paid for an expected thing?

Maybe I'm a Scrooge but I'm feeling stressed - there's already been about 4 hen dos and it seems to be money, money and more.money.

£100 is pushing. Going to a wedding next week, they are friends of ours and i got them a voucher towards their fave restaurant value of £30. We already spending money traveling to wedding, accomodation etc so.

No, there is no such tradition.

The origin is in setting up a couple for their first home (as people didn't cohabit before marriage) and so giving them the things needed to kit it out together (for immediate use or bottom-draw.

With the rise of cohabitation, and general living away from parents in early adult life, many couples did not need the traditional approach, and greater variety came in. Including the utterly newfangled (to most of UK) idea of "covering your plate". The cost of the party the couple want to celebrate their marriage is unrelated to gifts, let alone specific price tags/amounts

It doesn't help it's all discussed over group chat so I feel my money-situation is publicised

Why would you even discuss this over "group chat" or anything else?

Give whatever you want to and, if anyone asks, "I'm making my own arrangements thanks" should cover it just fine

I agree - give what you can afford and don't worry about it. I am happy to give money, we haven't for a while been to a wedding of anyone really close. We are at the stage of being invited to the weddings of our friends children. Must admit I have recently been to one or two where the feeling I got was 'we have invited you to this great meal, disco etc..so in return you should give...I think this is because at one wedding there was a mix up with our wedding card and gift and a month later the bride chased it up as to where it was ..it was found but made me look at the whole event a bit differently.

Yeah, that "cover your plate" idea was never a thing in English weddings.

(Traditionally, of course, the bride's parents paid for the reception (the groom paid all the church-related fees, and the groom's parents might offer to fund the alcohol). That was beginning to be seen as a bit old-fashioned in the mid-nineties.)

When we got married we expected people to get things in their own self-set price range. Our list was not quite as organised as those of some friends, who had tear-off tabs for things like "two teaplates [from the chosen design]" or "10-inch casserole dish".

If you were going to a 50th birthday party, would you ask around all your friends to find out how much everyone was spending on a present? Would you worry that the birthday partee might find you stingy, or expect to reimburse them for the cost of your iced fruit cake and methode champenoise?