Husband not speaking

[anonymous322]

(Apart from the obvious LTB. Which I know and making plans for)

How can I deal with him. He stopped talking to me 2 weeks ago. Nothing major at all happened he has these mood swings a lot, he’s very much like his mother they both are the same. Over past 2 weeks I’ve had my daughters party which he didn’t turn up for and I had to drag my 3 kids on my own to the venue and put up balloons etc whilst they cried, it was so stressful. He turned up at the end and my friend mentioned he looked really out of it (no drugs at all he’s never taken them but he seemed drunk). When I was sitting with parents (child started reception so hardly know them) he sat with us with crying red eyes! So embarrassing. I got my BIL to take him over to my other BIL.

my daughter had her sports day and again he didn’t turn up but just as we were leaving he turned up. He started walking away and I called him and he sat in the car but he was breathing really loudly and told me he’s not sitting in the car with me and walked off.

over Xmas when visiting my parents he tried “running away” a few times, my sister reminded me he did the same thing of trying to get in the car and running away when my daughter was born 8 years ago, I ordered papa johns pizza and he kept saying “these bastsreds have probably never had pappardelle johns in their lives”.

its not just my family he’s like this whether they are there or not,

I hate him, this morning I tried to be civil and he just started again. Advice please.

my sons graduation from nursery is coming up and a few more events. Shall I just not tell him or tell him and risk him embarrassing me.

I don’t understand why you are still with him?
Can you explain why you’re still in this non-relationship?

He is of course disrespectful to you but it’s also so embarrassing and I don’t understand why you’d want to be associated with him.

Everyone must know what’s he’s like and think you are just as bad too if you are in a relationship with him.

Just tell him to move out.

Don't engage with him, don't tell him about events. Who cares about him getting an MH assessment? Fuck it, your MH matters too. Also - your poor kids. Leave him to sulk and be a massive pain in the backside by himself. I'd not waste another day of my 1 life on a man like that he'd have to get out

Why have you not asked him to leave? He's bringing absolutely nothing to the table, except stress and bad atmosphere. This must be awful for your children and is clearly a horrible form of torture that he is revelling in. Kick him out!

I would send him a text telling him to stay away from you and the kids and that the marriage is over. After that, I wouldn't contact him about anything, and I would respond to him if he contacts you.

You need to see a solicitor and get the ball rolling immediately.

Is he feeling suicidal? He's acting as if he is. Have you asked him?

I am so shocked that he told you nobody wants you, including him. What an absolute dick. He clearly has issues of his own but there’s no reason why you should have to put up with this childish sulking and blanking - it’s absolutely pathetic. Ignore him back and only speak to him if you have to. It’s not about playing his silly games, it’s about refusing to allow him to punish you with one-sided silent treatment while you try to smooth things. He’s not worth your effort and he doesn’t deserve your patience.

He sounds fed up and angry at you for whatever reason.

If he won't even talk to you and tell you what's wrong it's best to ask him to move out as this is a miserable living situation for you both at this point.

You’ll be so much better off without him

He does sound unhinged. Don’t engage with him. If you aren’t actively engaging with plans to LTB you need to have a think about why that is. Saying you are going to and actually doing it are two different things. I suspect you wouldn’t be looking at ways to manage this if your escape plan was mapped out

Well definitely don't tell him anything.
Keep your phone locked so he can't snoop about.

The running off is ridiculous. If he does that again just call the non emergency police and say you car has been stolen.

He sounds like a horrible twat. The sooner you get yourself and your children away from his fucking lunacy, the better.

Not the point I know, but after reading the other thread OP linked, how can I get into findom? Random online men getting off on transferring money into my bank account... I'd probably be too lazy to even be mean to them, but they might get off on me ignoring them like that.

Sorry to derail OP but what a fascinating way to get lots of free money by doing nothing.

I'm sorry for your situation it must be awful living in that environment which you are gaining absolutely nothing and losing your self esteem and confidence to leave
Emotionally disengage completely
Think as if you're already separated
Are your DC his? Either way they will be affected by this
It sounds to me like either DP has a substance abuse problem or is actually has pretty serious Mental illness. Doesn't really matter what the cause is as he appears to hate you and you need to leave