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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call DP up on being such a bore

7 replies

Lastqueenofscotland2 · 30/06/2023 20:58

This might sound mean. I love my DP. He’s kind, patient and generally when I read horror stories about people’s DHs I’m very grateful… however… In the last year or so he seems to have become an almighty bore.
ALL he talks about is work. That is it. Often in really long monologues where he is talking at me about it.
Often it’s quite navel gazy and about how he is so fantastic and everyone else is so disorganised and incompetent, which makes me cringe.
We also work from home most of the time, so I don’t need to ask what he’s done in a day, he’s in meetings for hours a day, I hear what he’s done!

I work in a similar but not quite the same industry. I have to deal with similar stuff 9-5 every day. I don’t want to be talked at about it after work.
He never used to be like this and used to make a point of not wanting to talk about work and how dull it was as a conversation topic.

Recently we were out with friends and we bumped into someone they knew and made polite “nice to meet you” type conversation. They asked my DP what they did and… god poor woman, he essentially talked at her about his job for well over 5 minutes she did not get a word in edgeways and you could see her eyes glaze over and even at one point try to start talking to our mutual friend. It was pretty embarrassing.

Am I a complete cow to just say DP I know what you do for a living and I am really not interested in it…

OP posts:
bonzaitree · 22/07/2023 17:42

What does he do when you change the subject?

mbosnz · 22/07/2023 17:45

How about saying, 'look, I really don't want to talk about work all the time. Either yours, or mine. How about 15 minutes, and then we agree to talk about anything and everything, but work'?

Luxell934 · 22/07/2023 17:46

What does he do?

BluebellsRoses · 24/07/2023 17:50

I'd try something like: "DP, you used to make a point of not wanting to talk about work and how dull it was as a conversation topic. I've noticed that recently you've been talking about it a lot. Has something changed/is there anything going on that has caused this change?"

Maybe work is really terrible at the moment and this is how he keeps his morale up? Maybe he looks at you and thinks he's not on your level and is trying to give you reasons to value him?

Sparkletastic · 24/07/2023 18:05

Mine does this. He has ASD and isn't great at reading social clues and can bore people shitless. I have to be quite direct with him.

NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2023 18:28

I think maybe raise it a bit more gently than that, but YANBU to tell him it's too much. Maybe he should speak to a counsellor or similar? He obviously needs to offload, just best that he doesn't bore his nearest and dearest to death.

Fredface1 · 24/07/2023 18:42

Luxell934 · 22/07/2023 17:46

What does he do?

🤣

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