Can my husband take half?

[MelissaStrawberry1]

please help me!
currently with husband and I’m sick to my stomach of his attitude, laziness and this joke that we call a marriage.
he does absolutely nothing and has the nerve to criticise everything I do and nothing good enough for him.
I do not want to be with him at all, but it gets tricky?
he is off sick, and won’t be returning to work ever I do not think.
Due to this i have a mortgage on my own in my name and we have 2 children.
I want to divorce him but is he entitled to half?
he is the spiteful type that would take half of everything, and if he can, I can’t leave him as i can’t afford to remortgage or sell my house, it’s my home with the kids.

in begging for nice answers, no judgement etc, I’m aware of how shit the situation is etc so please I’m just asking for advice.

you see it here all the time, and I was also advised the same irl.

women are told to get married “for protection”. It’s generally accepted that women are better off married, especially if they have children.

this works on the assumption that the woman is the financially weaker party. Tbf, this is often true as women choose to give up work or go PT after kids. Men rarely get the choice.

however if you’re female, with assets and/or good earning potential, marriage can properly screw you over. We’re still mired in sexism though and that doesn’t occur to most.

my own mother, who knew how hard I worked for my house, and knew dh was divorced and had nothing as his ex had screwed him in the divorce, still advised that I needed to get married when I got pregnant as marriage would “protect” me.

I’d be much better off not married. And if my relationship ever went pear shaped, I would have kept everything I owned. Once married he now owns 50%.

I’d get advice asap.

ive see thee scenario above result in the unable to work become the automatic caregiver to the children, and thus the worker has to move out.

If it’s under a year marriage, it won’t be a 50/50 split. In fact it’s more likely to be what you each took into the marriage.

Dont delay- get the ball rolling right now.

It's only 50/50 of the assets gained during the marriage usually. So if you had the house beforehand, he may not be entitled to half.

To be fair on MN people often talk about how marriage isn’t always the best in all situations.

It doesn’t suit everyone and isn’t a good idea for everyone. I am one of the people it doesn’t suit and won’t be doing it.

I think so many people forget that marriage isn’t a romantic things its serious legal contract that has serious legal ramifications.

and tbh, if women have been told that it’s better to get married, then got married and not asked why, that’s really on them. If they have asked or looked into and seen talk about asset split, financial protection and sharing of finances and they ignored it works both ways, then that’s on them too.

There are lots of things that are taken into account. Laws are different in different countries. But he's unlikely to be entitled to half your home after a short marriage

Short marriage and relationship. As others have said, act quickly.

Oh ffs of course he can't.

You have a short marriage and you need somewhere to house his child. Don't tolerate any suggestion from him that he wants 50:50 - that will be purely to avoid child support and it won't be in your child's best interests.

Because you've been married such a short time it will not be a 50/50 you need to be married longer so I wouldn't delay. Been there and done it and got out and now have a lovely happy life

Not sure why people are saying house is 50/50 because they're married. It isn't. It's in OPs name. It is the matrimonial home so he has home rights. That isn't the same as 50% ownership. It means he has a right to live there and can stop her selling it. 50/50 also isn't the starting point. Its 50% of assets acquired in the marriage. In a long marriage thats deemed to be everything. A one this short each leaving with what they put in with some consideration made to who has the kids would be more normal.

Sooner is definitely better than later OP.

Not necessarily.

When married they often take the years living together before marriage into account as well.

50% of assets acquired in The marriage usually applies to short marriages. Whilst the ops is, it’s not in the Op, so some people will have missed it.

There is so much 'legal' crap advice on here which is totally wrong. Speak to a solicitor and get the correct advice.
Get papers etc together as well, I wouldn't tell h what I was doing either as there are dc to consider. But I would definantly get the ball rolling.

He is entitled to something but not necessarily half. The courts will prioritise the needs of the children ( as under 18) so they will need to have a home as priority ( with you). He will need to have somewhere to live too, so quite possibly the family home will be sold and you both downsize. If he is capable of work the courts will take a very dim view if he doesn't get off his fat arse. He will be expected to work if he can.
I was in an abusive marriage and feared would loose my home and business to the cf , something which he threatened to do.
I did divorce him and am one zillion per cent glad I did. Every day is heaven just me and my family.
Good luck

@Mommasgotabrandnewbag

Don't need to do any reading thanks but here in the UK the rules are most certainly NOT 50/50
And I speak from experience
He tried and was laughed out of court so no rude awakening for me

AFAIK, the shorter the marriage, the less he is entitled to, OP. So you have a lot in your favour

It does depend on circs.

my brother for example, been living with his wife 14 years, married for 5. Two children under 5.

she had an affair and therefore had planning time- emptied the joint accounts, even remortgaged to reduce equity. He’d put in the deposit from his savings.

financials went to court. As she only worked pt, she couldn’t afford to increase the mortgage again to cover the remaining equity. Kids were young, so needed housing.

outcome was she kept the house moved into her own name, the car, all possessions as it wasn’t possible for her to buy him out. In exchange they didn’t look at his pension- which was shit because he was self employed and they had prioritised cash while kids were in nursery. She worked for the nhs so had a bigger pension.

judges words were he was housed (at our parents) and could start again so he wouldn’t suffer from the loss of assets. 20 years later and he still can’t afford to buy a property 🤷‍♀️ while she’s sat on a house now worth over 3/4 million.

Actually you need to read up too . Neither of you are legally correct

courts make decisions based n the legally defined rules of “ fair settlement “ based on future needs . Even a consent order “sealed” by the court is assessed to ensure it meets fair settlement. ( poster just posted that her consent order was rejected by court and there’s a poster like this about every 6 months)

all assets are owned jointly in England and wakes. Scottish law has more limits around assets and inheritance pre marriage , but in England those are normally seen as joint assets too unless a very short marriage.

But jointly owning assets does not mean the first point is 50:50 split- it just means this is total in the pot

fair settlement then comes into play and this takes priority based on future needs only

only if there are excess funds, or sufficient funds will 50:50 be “fair” after those 10 or so fair settlement criteria applied

fair settlement is defined in law - not to protect people, but to protect tax payers and ensure , where funds are available, no one ends up reliant on the state financially .

OP, go to MN divorce board and access link to ADVICE NOW. to actually read how this works and the process. They have fab guides that will domain how the law actually works vs the Various misleading , and a few correct, opinions on here

You can't even get a divorce if you've been married less than a year, in those cases you must get the marriage annulled

All this “legal advice” when OP hasn’t even said what country she’s in?

Even between England & Scotland, the law on divorce is different.

The best advice on this thread is: see a solicitor, and good to see OP has heeded that.

Good luck OP!