I am probably BU

[Horriblewoman]

But I need internet strangers to tell me just how awful I’m being.

My partner has been away for a month with work and got back a few days ago. I’ve ended up going out unexpectedly for work drinks this evening and he’s peeved that I’m not home.

My defence!

1. he’s away regularly and I build a life around him not being here so I’m not sat waiting at the door like an abandoned puppy
2. it was impromptu drinks at work
3. we have nice plans this weekend and a holiday together coming up

am I channeling my horrible stubborn teenage self as an adult woman by wanting to not rush home.

(Btw I’m currently on the way home)

Yeah you're fine

So when he's away, you're to be independent but when he's back, he wants you to be available at his beck n call?

Nah

And the biggest problem here is that you're doubting yourself. All this "oh I'm probably BU" and "am I channeling my teenage rebellion" is the biggest red flag that this bloke isn't good for you.

Bye bye confidence?

You are not being unreasonable. You can't depend on him for all your satisfaction so you need to go out and have fun!

I feel as though this man has done a number on you. You’re being perfectly reasonable.

A few days ago! I could understand if it was his first night back, but even then I think a decent person would say I'm disappointed but have a great night.

Is he usually so controlling?

Everything everyone else has said and you are not a horrible woman either.

Life doesn't stop just because he's home now.

YABU
To scurry home like a good little woman because some bloke is having a tantrum

Promise he’s not controlling! But glad I’m not 100% a terrible woman!

This is one of those petty text niggles rather than anything big! I’ve always been very firm on keeping my priorities going outside of him, I think he’s just jet lagged and grumpy which is understandable.

Well I wouldn't be on my way home because he's got his knickers in a twist.

My partner wouldn't even give a second thought of me going out let alone short notice and we have 3 DC all under 4.

Tired or not. He's a douche bag.

Would he have cooked dinner or anything? Did you communicate you would be late home?

He’s been home a few days and you have a whole weekend planned together! If he arrived back today and you hadn’t seen him, I would get it. He’s being an arse.

He got back a few days ago so presumably you've spent time with him since his return and you've got plenty of plans with him for the near future.

He can't honestly expect you to permanently be at home at his beck and call just because he's home; you are entitled to a life too you know.