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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she could have said 'just keep the money'?

202 replies

JMSA · 29/06/2023 14:55

Properties to let, in the city where I live, are snapped up extremely quickly. You need to be really on the ball in order to land one.
A lady posted on a local Facebook group begging someone to do a viewing for her. She is overseas at the moment, but will be coming here to live soon. She was desperate; the letting agent was willing to allow someone else to view it in her place, but it had to be viewed before they'd accept her application. Seriously, the private let situation here is crazy ... not to mention extortionate.
I offered to do it for her. We had some chat over FB Messenger, and we discussed what I should look out for and the questions she wanted me to ask. This all took time, but that's absolutely fine. We had agreed that £20 was a fair amount for me to be paid for this viewing, and she made a bank transfer (at my request).
The viewing was meant to be tomorrow and I've just heard from her that it's cancelled, as someone else got in there first. I offered to hold onto the money - it had taken a while to come through - in case any other properties came up that she'd like me to view.
She replied no, that she's going to wait until she gets here to do more viewings, and has asked for her £20 back. It's annoying because I had budgeted for something with it. Am I right in thinking that she's a tight arse?

OP posts:
sonjadog · 29/06/2023 16:02

It will cost about ten pounds to transfer, if not more, so it is hardly worth the bother. Make sure you aren’t paying the transfer fee. She cancelled so she can pay it.

purplecorkheart · 29/06/2023 16:02

If I had been her I would have said keep the money and certainly if I was you I would advise her that you will see how much it will cost you to transfer the money back and deduct the cost from the £20.

To be honest though I still think this could be a scam. I suspect that she will "accidently" you a large sum of money and then ask you to transfer it back probably minus a sum of money for any hassle for. After you transfer the money back minus the hassle fee she will ask the bank to recall the initial transfer (some countries banks will do this). As the amount you transferred back to her and the initial sum of money will be different it will be nearly impossible for you to get your money back.

wutheringkites · 29/06/2023 16:03

purplecorkheart · 29/06/2023 16:02

If I had been her I would have said keep the money and certainly if I was you I would advise her that you will see how much it will cost you to transfer the money back and deduct the cost from the £20.

To be honest though I still think this could be a scam. I suspect that she will "accidently" you a large sum of money and then ask you to transfer it back probably minus a sum of money for any hassle for. After you transfer the money back minus the hassle fee she will ask the bank to recall the initial transfer (some countries banks will do this). As the amount you transferred back to her and the initial sum of money will be different it will be nearly impossible for you to get your money back.

For £20?

Poppy61 · 29/06/2023 16:04

It sounds as if you've already put in quite a bit of groundwork prior to any viewing. I would have said to keep the money as a thank you for your time, its called basic good manners, but hey, she wants the money back. You know what to say if she needs your help in the future.

saraclara · 29/06/2023 16:06

Use PayPal instead of bank transfer. That way you pay a total of £20 and she receives less, bearing the cost of the transfer.

Dreamer8 · 29/06/2023 16:07

I dont think she's shot herself in the foot. You didn't do the viewing therefore why do you still want paying? If you wanted paying for messenger messages and a trial walk that you took it upon yourself to do you should have been clear with her. If it was me I'd be offering the money back, not saying she had shot herself in the foot for asking for it back.

Corgiowner · 29/06/2023 16:09

I looked round a school for someone on here who lived the other side of the world, took me the best part of a day, she offered to pay for my time but I declined. I just said should we ever visit your country (which I thought was highly unlikely) some pointers on where to stay and what to do would be much appreciated.
10 years later we have visited their country, we were there for nearly 3 weeks we stayed with them and travelled around with them; it really was a holiday of a life time. They also visit and often stay with us every time they come here and are hoping we will go back and visit them again in the near future.
Keeping money out of these kind of arrangements I said at the time and still believe is the best approach.

Original poster
JMSA · 29/06/2023 16:09

Dreamer8 · 29/06/2023 16:07

I dont think she's shot herself in the foot. You didn't do the viewing therefore why do you still want paying? If you wanted paying for messenger messages and a trial walk that you took it upon yourself to do you should have been clear with her. If it was me I'd be offering the money back, not saying she had shot herself in the foot for asking for it back.

I meant shot herself in the foot in that I could have been a good local contact for her. However I now wouldn't do her any future favours.

OP posts:
NeedToChangeName · 29/06/2023 16:10

wutheringkites · 29/06/2023 16:03

For £20?

Show quote history

@wutheringkites Yes, potentially

A fraudster could do a £20 transaction to gain trust and OP's bank details, then "accidentally" pay £500 into the same account and ask for £450 back "for your trouble"

BeverleyMacker · 29/06/2023 16:11

She should let you keep the money after going out of your way to message her etc re property and her wants etc. You shou have at as a "Thank you for your time anyway" kind of thing. The mere fact you offered to do this,even if you weren't needed in the end,was a kind thing to do :)

Dreamer8 · 29/06/2023 16:11

Yeah I still don't get why you want to keep her money.

NeedToChangeName · 29/06/2023 16:11

I can see both sides

You spent some time on this

But you didn't do the main service

Helpmepleaseimbusy · 29/06/2023 16:12

You didn't really have a cancellation agreement or anything so no she is entitled to ask for it back. If you hadn't mentioned keeping it in case she may have never even said she wants it back.

Namechangeforanamechange · 29/06/2023 16:13

Given that you have already spent time on this for her, I would expect her to at least pay you for that time.

Also, you may well be charged by your bank for the transfer IN as well as OUT. It's been a long time since I have had regular international transfers but I have a feeling I wasn't charged immediately, the charges were made at the end of the month so I suggest you check with your bank.

TiredandHungry19 · 29/06/2023 16:16

JMSA · 29/06/2023 16:09

I meant shot herself in the foot in that I could have been a good local contact for her. However I now wouldn't do her any future favours.

Show quote history

It's not really a 'favour' given you expect to keep money for a job you didn't have to actually do on the basis that you already 'budgeted for it'

Comedycook · 29/06/2023 16:16

You didn't want to do a good turn...you wanted a bit of extra cash...which is totally fine and understandable but don't dress it up.

Original poster
JMSA · 29/06/2023 16:18

Comedycook · 29/06/2023 16:16

You didn't want to do a good turn...you wanted a bit of extra cash...which is totally fine and understandable but don't dress it up.

Of course I wanted to do a good turn. Heavens alive. I could have charged more but simply didn't want to.

OP posts:
diddl · 29/06/2023 16:18

I'm torn on this as it does sound as if you have already done £20's worth of work.

But the money was for the viewing which didn't happen and by the sounds of things there was no agreement for what would happen in that case.

Is it possible to transfer the £20 back with any transfer cost deducted from it?

Namechangeforanamechange · 29/06/2023 16:20

I've just checked what my bank charges for international transfers. It's free in the EEA and for Euros but £2 to receive any other currency from any other location, £10 to make a transfer out online, £20 by phone banking or in branch for payments under £100...

Original poster
JMSA · 29/06/2023 16:20

Dreamer8 · 29/06/2023 16:11

Yeah I still don't get why you want to keep her money.

That's fair enough. I can accept that people see it differently, and appreciate everyone's thoughts anyway Smile

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 29/06/2023 16:20

wutheringkites · 29/06/2023 16:03

For £20?

Show quote history

No not for the £20. What I am saying is that she in the future could transfer a large sum of money say for example 500 and then claim that it was sent to the op by accident (selected wrong payee in account) and that it was meant for someone else. It is an not uncommon scam.

IhearyouClemFandango · 29/06/2023 16:20

JMSA · 29/06/2023 15:59

It's close to where I live, without incurring travel costs, which is why I offered to do it. A 10 minute walk from my place. It was never as much about the money as helping someone out.

Show quote history

If it wasn't about the money transferring it back minus any transfer costs shouldn't be a problem?

SunshineAndFizz · 29/06/2023 16:22

You didn't do actual the job. Of course she should have it back.

Original poster
JMSA · 29/06/2023 16:24

@IhearyouClemFandango

I have never said I wouldn't pay it back. But if the transfer costs leave me out of pocket then no way. However if they're less than the £20 paid, then I'll do it.

OP posts:
Mumandcarer · 29/06/2023 16:24

Exactly this