To quit my job because I can't afford to go

[Megapops]

I have my dream job, I absolutely love it, and thought I was on a decent salary. Recently the organisation has asked staff to go into the London office 2-3 days a week. Not a problem.

But.. just broke up with my partner who I've been livng with for a few years and I'm obviously looking at moving out into my own place now. To rent a modest, 1 bed place within an hour/hour and a half commute to work is more than my monthly salary. And to rent a room in a houseshare costs around half my salary. Living further out means more expensive train fares too. I'm looking right outside London too. (Considering moving back into a houseshare, and it costing half my salary is also making me die a bit inside).

I dont know what I'm going to do? The only solution seems to be to quit my job and move somewhere else because I literally can't afford to go to work. Although rent doesn't seem much better anywhere! Any advice?

This tool on right move might help you look at cheaper areas; https://where.rightmove.co.uk/

Id try and compromise and have a word with your employer and look at coming in once a week or getting a hotel room for a night so you can work 2 days. Travel down on say the Wed morning, leave the Thursday evening. Could that be feasible?

There are lots of new builds in canary wharf with none of the mould etc where if you house share you can do so for ~ 1-1.2k incl all bills. This will cut bills and commute for you. Also if you need to go for interviews etc will be much easier for you to do so.

Talk to your line manager. In our case we’d cover the expense of the commute.

https://www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/middlesex/whitton/15556098

what about this. £1000 pcm but looks nice, reasonable commute into town, Whitton nice surburban area, though quiet but includes bills.

Are you able to get a second job? I know it shouldn't be the solution but people don't seem to do this as much compared with previous difficult times.

I was starting out in the early 90s and at that time, many 'young professionals' had second jobs in the evenings/weekends in bars etc. A shift or two on a Friday or Saturday night could provide a much needed income boost that you'd really feel as it would all be extra disposable income. Eg if your rent, bills, food, travel etc leave you with £100 pm spare, but you earn an extra £200 pm, you have £300 a month to spend instead.

Instead of house sharing have you thought of a lodger type scenario? My family member has a huge house in zone 2 with a few long term lodgers, academic types, and they pay around £500 a month for the room. Not ideal long term I know but just to tide you by while you reassess.

Yes, but at least you would keep your job. It is not ideal, but it would only be until you met a new partner hopefully.

Is it possible for you to relocate your dream job from out of London or is it specific to London?

@Megapops Ian't this the perfect time to negotiate a salary increase and London weighting. Just be honest. Explain how much you love your job and that you have been looking to relocate due to the new directive to be in London 2-3 days per week and you can't physically afford it. You will need to pay x amount in increased fares and rental/hotels (err on the generous side, use the mid range not the lowest as typically the cheaper flats go immediately and for above their asking rental price.)

Ask for a salary increase of 10% or whatever you genuinely need, to cover this.

What is your ideal expenditure on a room/

Have you looked at Spare Room - a site dedicated to people looking for a room to rent maybe as a lodger.

there are some clean small double bed flatshares in nice flats in Canary Wharf itself for around £850pcm and then you'd have no commute. It's quite a peaceful area with lovely water and walkways, little parks and squares. Bit quiet at weekends. But plenty of places to draw and paint...

here's one example

With bills included and no travel costs, you could budget more easily with that one.

Sorry but this sounds normal? How much spare cash did you have before? I’m a high earner but have childcare costs and this is about what I have “to live”…

Definitely look SE London. There's not a lot happening in places like Erith they're close to Abbeywood Crossrail station and cheap housing.

@TheYearOfSmallThings indeed. Quite practical though, you can put a load of laundry on without even getting up from bed.

my guess is that it turns into a frozen mould ridden place in winter

Do you have any work colleagues who might be happy to take in a room share? To help with their own mortgages - up to about £7.5k is tax free for them if its a room sharing facilities.

I’m in Essex and you’re being silly here OP. Essex is a massive county. I live near a Trainline, the rent for a 1 bed near the train line is £600pcm and the train to CW is £20 a day. Your problem would be solved.

Have you considered less obvious commuter towns much further afield. You say you're willing for a commute of 1 - 1 1/2 hours.

Ely has a direct train every half hour ish to Kings cross or liverpool street and takes an hour and 5 minutes. Prices in Ely and within a few miles are much lower than you've described, and theres plenty free parking in Ely too if you were a couple miles from the station and had to drive to there.

I know lots of people who live here and commute in by train to London. Might be worth a look slightly further afield but somewhere within an hour train journey.

I bed flat £775 https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/136616924#/?channel=RES_LET

2 bed house £850 https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/136679522#/?channel=RES_LET

3 bed house £860 https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/136313795#/?channel=RES_LET

Have a look at Spareroom.com - a friend of mine lives in Birmingham & works in London for a few days a month. She rents a room in a family house when she’s there & has become good friends with the family & it’s a long term arrangement now. - I think she pays £50 a night

Also homestay.com

If you were my staff member and I read this I'd help you come up with a plan, if you were great and loved the job and were staying I'd invest and increase your salary to keep you, or I would remove the need for you to come in.

Talk to your bosses about your situation, they will try and help if they can.

In your situation I would lodge in someone’s home on a short term basis and gather my thoughts to make a long term plan

Long term, 40,000 is a good salary anywhere in the country except central London. Essentially I would be looking to move out of London permanently and making my life somewhere else.

Do you have good friends or family elsewhere in the country?

Have you ever wanted to live in a different part of the country - Scotland wales. Another city perhaps? Or further afield?

I don’t know OP, I know this sounds like a tricky situation - and it is! But it’s also an opportunity to make a new life, which is scary/ exciting!

This isn't true. There are loads of options on this board, bus lines, DLR lines and areas the OP may not have considered. It is perfectly possible.

Exactly. I give my direct reports leeway in regards to office time under special circumstances. They really appreciate it and as far as I’m aware nobody is jealous. Who would be jealous of someone whose relationship has broken down and could be made homeless having reduced office time for a bit FFS?!

Staff are not robots, sometimes shit happens in life. Plus it’s a ballache to recruit new staff so I’d rather the incumbent ones stayed rather than left just because I was unwilling to reduce office time for a bit until they sorted themselves out.

I can’t believe people are suggesting that OP’s employer covers OP’s expenses to commute to a job where she is contracted to work. It’s not like she is being asked to fly to Switzerland every week. It’s not an employer’s responsibility to subsidise staff who are financially impacted by a break-up.

I can understand an employer covering rent and train fares for an unpaid internship, but OP is on £40k - more than enough to cover housing costs, even in London.

Yes, flatsharing in your 30s isn’t ideal (I lasted till age 30 then had to stop for my sanity), but it’s not the employer’s problem, I’m afraid.