To quit my job because I can't afford to go

[Megapops]

I have my dream job, I absolutely love it, and thought I was on a decent salary. Recently the organisation has asked staff to go into the London office 2-3 days a week. Not a problem.

But.. just broke up with my partner who I've been livng with for a few years and I'm obviously looking at moving out into my own place now. To rent a modest, 1 bed place within an hour/hour and a half commute to work is more than my monthly salary. And to rent a room in a houseshare costs around half my salary. Living further out means more expensive train fares too. I'm looking right outside London too. (Considering moving back into a houseshare, and it costing half my salary is also making me die a bit inside).

I dont know what I'm going to do? The only solution seems to be to quit my job and move somewhere else because I literally can't afford to go to work. Although rent doesn't seem much better anywhere! Any advice?

Yes, but also "as a general rule" employers are now having to give pay rises, perhaps not for individual circumstances, though that may work if the individual is particularly valued, but acknowledging the cost of living increases most people are facing. Or pay the recruitment costs and find new people in an employee's market.

And I fully support those initiatives? My point was it is unreasonable to expect an employer to make exceptions for one employee. Would you be okay if a colleague got a financial perk you didn’t get because of their personal circumstances?
If OP is valuable to the company, she should absolutely negotiate a pay rise.

Why do you say that this isn't truw? It really is. 40k for central London isn't a good wage at all and will make it very hard to work, live, commute etc on that salary.

I am interested to know what the dream job is as maybe it could still be achieved elsewhere in the Country.

I suppose it also matters what the contract says - if it is office based or remote working.

First of all what does your contract say? Does it say you have to work in London? When I travel into London or stay on a hotel the company covers the train and hotel costs.

Secondly, you could look at areas such as Milton Keynes, Peterborough (lots of other places I'm sure) much cheaper than London and about a 30/40 min train journey.

Look at your contract.
Look at rentals along the Elizabeth line. Reading/Maidenhead.

Don't give up your dream job without a conversation with your employer.

Yes because it’s none of my fucking business.

£800 per month and you could walk to work if you really wanted. (Personally, I'd jump on the DLR, but it is walkable!)

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/86199354#/?channel=RES_LET

If you work in the Wharf, look at places on the Isle of Dogs. It's surprisingly cheap there, and the flats are all modern and nice, because they're only useful for people who need to commute to CW.

Did I say it was impossible?

Didn’t think so.

If its a temporary thing and its your dream job, a room in someones house seems like the best option. But if its long term and you dont expect your salary to change much, I cannot imagine living like that for a long time.

Would you be happy to move to a different area of the country (thats much cheaper) and stay in your field of work? The amount you would be oayimg in rent a month could get you a lovely house somewhere else and a much better quality of life.

OP, just want to say that I feel your pain - if I split up with DH I'd have to move into a houseshare and the thought of doing this in my 40s after having a place of my own is so depressing. You should be able to live in the city in which you work easily, or at least the compromises you make to do so should allow you to save up and plan for a longer-term future - a room in a shared house should not cost a full grand a month. I suspect your colleagues who own have little idea of how difficult it is for renters now - the issues people are having with mortgage affordability have been happening to renters for years, and whenever renters complain about it they're told to 'suck it up, it was like that when we started out' or 'why don't you get an extra job', forgetting that this happens well into middle-age now and people just want a stable place to live and enough money left over to buy a nice sandwich on a Friday without feeling like they are pouring all their wages into someone else's property portfolio.

I was a lodger for a while and I will say that it can be very different to housesharing - sometimes you get on well and it works well for both parties, sometimes you're very aware that you are living in someone else's house rather than all of you having an equal stake in your home, and if you're a more messy person than the other or you want to invite your friends/new partner round, say, it can get fraught. I stayed with a guy who basically never left the house and would occasionally invite his friends round to sleep in the living room for months on end without letting me know first, and it started to drive me insane to the point that DH and I moved in quite a bit earlier than we planned....the rent was cheaper but I couldn't really 'live' there, if you see what I mean? Have a look on Spareroom and local Facebook groups for areas you might like and get a feel for things.

I have some colleagues who moved out of London for various reasons and travel in from other cities once a week, by arrangement with management - is this something they might be able to look into? It's something I'm thinking about now we've realised we can't afford to buy a place of our own here, and I like the idea of starting fresh in a new city as well - I've been chatting a lot to people doing it to see how they find it. Your job may be one that might allow you to relocate and do it elsewhere after a few years, so it could be an option. The issue with 'commuter towns' is a) that it can be astonishingly expensive to travel in - I used to come in from Reading once a week a decade ago and it was £40 a day then during office hours b) some of them seem very much like bedroom communities rather than places to enjoy in their own right, which may or may not suit you c) if you don't have a car, you may want to check if they're easy or cheap to get around without one.

This is how paying women less than men was justified in the past. The man “needed” more money than the woman as he we providing for a family, had a wife who didn’t work etc.

Thank goodness that these days employers by and large pay staff for the work they do, and not because of their personal circumstances.

Just imagine an employer reimbursing one employee’s commuting costs because her break-up left her in a worse financial position. It would be unthinkable at my workplace, and most other workplaces, I suspect.

Not everyone can just ask for a pay rise - some salaries are banded, some companies are putting in pay freezes or even cutting jobs as the cost of everything is going up. Not everyone can do overtime (my job doesn't offer it - there are very occasional extra projects you can do in evenings and weekends, but consistent extra hours of work are not a thing). I'm sure OP has explored all the possibilities of increasing the salary she has now within her job.

They need to pay her more because they changed her contracted terms and it’s negatively impacting her expenses.

If her contract says the job is 100% remote then I agree with you.

If the contract says the job is based in London, the employer can dictate which/how many days staff need to be in the office. This is standard for most office jobs.

But you can ask for a pay rise for whatever reason you want. Asking because the company has altered the terms of your contract which will cost you more is a wholly justifiable reason. They can say no, but it's fine to ask. Perfectly reasonable. people (men) ask for all sorts of reasons. I do despair of how accommodating and timid women are around asking for pay rises.

I completely agree!

OP should ask for a pay rise in the first instance - if she is valuable to the company, they would be stupid not to oblige.

This is completely different from having one perk for some employees (e.g. because they’re single and have to cover housing costs alone) but not for the rest. This should not be an expectation anywhere.

So if you don’t need to go in the office you will be ok? Or is it just affording anywhere now on your own?

if it’s the first then think I would speak to employer even if you did 1 day might help ! Check what’s in your contract

if it’s the latter only thing I could suggest is moving somewhere cheaper and potentially moving jobs. I live in the north it would be about 200 -300 a month for a share of s flat or about 400 -500 for a flat 600 for small terrace

I’ve never seen a salary nor a raise negotiated by the employer to be exactly the same amount for every team member.

There is a range (very wide in most cases) influenced a great deal by how much the person requested and what they were paid in prior jobs. Usually the hiring manager has at least some discretion.

What people ask will always be based on their own circumstances and what they need. The employer is usually considering each individual and many factors including market rate, education, years of service, value to the company. Labor is not a commodity.

“We are going to lose Anne if we don’t get her where she needs to be with respect to salary. It’s costing her £200 per month just to come in the office now.”

So maybe someone says “well, let’s give the whole team a COL increase.” But sometimes we do just take care of that one person and anyone else that asks.

Yeah, there's no job I'd like enough to be willing to put up with some of the potential solutions offered here.

I second this. The train isn't cheap at £33 return per day, but if the rent is cheaper, it's more affordable.

The fast trains to London are busy in the morning, but only take about 30 mins to get in to Marylebone. Or, if you have a car, you can drive to Amersham and get the tube. £6.10 to park all day and £15.80 return on the tube to Zone 1.

What does your contract say about working location though? Is it fair for them to ask you to come in?

Hi OP, could you look somewhere just across the river so you could cycle to work?

This is above a shop so not the most ideal but Blackheath Village is lovely, quiet and best of all your commute would be a walk or cycle through Greenwich Park and then the foot tunnel: https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/136642346#/?channel=RES_LET

Appreciate it is expensive compared to your take home but you would save commute costs.

I would look at SE London, OP. I have a lodger. To be honest, I'm a bit on the fence about the current one, but I have too much else going on to terminate the agreement and find someone else because that's just swapping one stress for another.

However, you would be able to afford my rent and get to CW quite easily from round here. The biggest difficulty is probably getting to look at rooms as there tends to be a lot of interest and I let mine within two weeks of advertising. If you're not in the area already then that's going to be tricky.

Remember there's council tax and bills on top of that, though, that's where it starts leaving you with little left over at the end of the month to save/put aside for another six week deposit if you have to move at the end of the tenancy. I'm in Band C in a different borough and it costs us £160 a month in council tax, although I know it can vary widely across councils in London.

Do you get London weighting @Megapops ?

Echo others , speak to your boss.