My naughty kid

[NotOnGlue]

My 5 year old (nearly 6) is, frankly, naughty. He’s clever, charming, thoughtful and gorgeous but also just enjoys mischief. He’s mean to his brother (tripping him over, calling him names) and sometimes rude to adults. He is very unreliable when it comes to following instructions and often just defiant. He breaks things through carelessness. I try removing him, distracting him, consequences but basically that has very little effect. Is this just 5 year old behaviour that I need to ride out or am I doing something terribly wrong?

It’s hard to tell. Have you been consistent in the consequences for his actions and what type of consequences does he get?

By 5 he should know better. Children will be mischievous and make mistakes but no excuse for rudeness. Breaking things is ok as an accident but if it’s a repeated occurrence then he needs to learn that things can’t be replaced or have a cost. I really hope his brother fights back, sounds like that’s what he needs.

I think school can help here. They see so many kids they will hopefully know the difference between a bright spirited child and one to worry about.

Consequences are generally things like time out, removing screens, not being allowed delicate stuff if he can’t take care. I’m certain he feels the consequences but in the moment he’s too impulsive to reign himself in. I feel like I don’t really have an effective strategy to get him to behave. At the least I’d like him to stop persecuting his brother.

The op have you spoken to him about empathy and feelings and what to do if he feels x or y ? Put him in his brothers shoes ?

Mischievous is one thing, another is attacking your younger brother because he's bigger. I do hope the brother fights back tbh

I would look at what happens when he does something - what is your (to others) reaction? Is he doing it for attention? (any attention, even if getting told off)

How old is his brother? Does he trip him up because he thinks it's funny to get a reaction? Does the reaction divert attention away from something else?

Following instructions - they need to be very simple two steps only. Can he follow a two step - eg "First, take your toy/bag upstairs then wash your hands? I will give you a snack when you have done that."

Have you tried a daily reward chart - small achievable steps that he can feel good about?

We give him a lot of praise for good things but I’m pretty sure the naughty stuff with his brother (and other kids at times) is mostly finding it entertaining and partly not knowing how to play with them in a more positive way.