To feel deflated

[Maisemoo]

So health has been awful last few years needing tests, scans and operations and unfortunately due to diagnosis this will not improve. Consultant said to apply for PIP due to this so I did in November last year. This week I was awarded it and have the option to get a car. I was so excited about this and having a reliable car for appointments etc as mine is near the end and can’t afford to replace and with the remaining money I want to get a cleaner to take a load off me.
DH has all but taken over the car telling me what I want is rubbish and wanting to spend the back money on a massive down payment for a better make and saying a cleaner is a waste.
AIBU to feel deflated that I thought things might improve with this support but it’s actually causing me more stress

Keep the car and the cleaner and ditch the abuser... Which he is op. Those things are to make your life better not his.

Surely this money is for the purpose of making your life a bit less hard. Your 'd' H should back off and let you decide what you need it for.

The cleaner is only a waste if he'll do the work instead, he's always got that option.

It is personal payment, not his at all

LTB!

What will happen if you tell him "no"?

Well the money, the car and the cleaner are not the problem are they?

They're not causing you any stress.

Stand up to your dh, separate or have an honest conversation (choice depends on whether he has redeeming qualities).

It's your PIP payment, don't let him push you into what he wants just arrange things the way you want and sod him.

The money isn't for him; it's Personal Independence Payment. Which means it's for YOU PERSONALLY. And is to help you with your independent needs.

So if you want a particular car, and you want a cleaner then tell him it's not his money and not his decision to make.