Men and road rage/aggressive driving

[Stickybackplasticbear]

This is a bit of a moan and a question insured by something on the way home. Does anyone else find being a woman in the world a bit exhausting?

I had an incident in the way home today where I was in a bit of traffic on the motorway at 4pm ish so building to rush hour. The traffic was maybe 50mph ish but fairly full of cars if this makes sense.

Right hand lane of 2 lanes (shit motorway) a fella behind me was driving too close and gesturing aggressively. I'm genuinely not sure what he thought me moving would do, he's be in the same slightly slow traffic but a few meters ahead. It's not like I was driving slow and hogging the lane, which would be annoying. I don't drive a van, a normal small car, he could absolutely see there was traffic in front of me.

He basically tailgated me and tried to intimidate me for miles. I have a theory on this being a man / woman thing. Now I've never seen this behaviour from women. I also only have experience of living as a woman, but I know lots of woman who also say they have negative experiences like this with men and driving.

I suppose my aibu is do people think just some people are aggressive twat drivers of all genders? Or do you think it's more of a man thing?

This is coming of the back of a few twatty man incidents and I'm just feeling done with how men are in the world.

I’m not sure the driver behind can always tell your sex. I had noticed that driving my current car (SUV luxury brand) I get a lot less hassle than I did before in my aging Peugeot.

Now I've never seen this behaviour from women.

You should get out more. Bad driving/aggressive driving isn't a male prerogative. It does seem to be increasingly common though.

May be because I tend to do most of my driving around school run time and near schools. Mums are nutters behind the wheel.

Apologies, just read again. Yes, more common for men to drive like that.

I nearly got rear ended at a red light the other day by a man so basically it's four way lights one right turn on a feeder light of course you can turn right on the green IF there is space when it's on green (main light) but there was no space and it cycled to red with no feeder light coming on I had zero opportunity to turn right he beeped he revved his engine nudging closer to my car this was not improved by the feeder light not coming on AGAIN (ffs) and there still being no opportunity for me to turn right he wanted me to pull into the middle however traffic was getting stuck everywhere when the lights changed pulling into the middle would just have made life worse for everyone anyway I finally got a chance to cross safely and he tailgate me across and most of the way home right up my arse right until I turned off for the police station then he legged it in the opposite direction

Seriously I cannot magic cars away nor can I magic a green feeder light

These days I assume SUVs and big cars are women (Chelsea tractor), I get the whole idea of feeling safer in a big robust car.

Yeah definitely, and especially men in big cars. Last week I was crossing the road with my toddler in a pedestrianised 20mph area and a man in an suv was driving towards us and actually sped up and then shouted at me for not getting out of his way quicker. We were already in the road when he started his approach- I was so shocked! Some men drive their cars like weapons and it really brings out their power and misogyny issues.

Yeah my little car is def the type women drive!! (typically)

I'm not talking about bad driving which I'd do think is a universal thing. But when op said about on the school run, do women try to bully others sour of the way? Or are they just shit at driving?

I'm nearly 40 and have been driving since 19. I used to drive in London for work, all the road rage I've ever seen or the aggression like this is men. But I totally accept that's not others experience.

DH is an aggressive twat driver but he is like it with everyone, not just women.

Apologies but I'm much more aggressive than OH when driving, well most of the time really.

In my experience women are usually worse for tailgating and aggressive driving than men, though men are more likely to gesticulate.

No one would know my gender as my windows are tinted and I can't be seen from behind.

When you say aggressive what do you mean?

Like the behaviour I described?

Drive faster, brake later/harder, accelerate, get annoyed by slower drivers, change lanes. If OH is with me I do tend to tone it down as he doesn't say anything but I can almost feel him frowning at me.

@BigFatLiar why do you drive like that? Surely you know you're just more likely to antagonise people and cause an accident?

In town though I might add that I tend to drive carefully and within the speed limit which seems to annoy a lot of people. I suspect a lot of drivers get annoyed with drivers that stick to the limits in town (at least they seem to)..

I do a lot of miles in a big car (pick up not suv) and some men get super aggressive if they spot that I'm a woman. Usually men in smaller, crappier cars but not always. Women seem less aggressive and impatient overall, but there are a couple of school run mums who drive so badly (very fast on narrow lanes) I'm amazed they haven't wrapped themselves and their little darlings around a tree or had a head on with a tractor.

You see, you know you drive like a twat but you still do it. What possible benefit do you get from it?

I once dared to shake my head at a male driver. Just shook my head (was 19, he was tailgaiting. I was naieve). He sped in front of me, slammed his breaks on, got out, calling me a fucking cunt, and punched my window. I also once slowed down to 50 on a 50 road - the male van driver behind me took offence to my breaking (gently!), screaming "fucking stupid cunt bitch" at me out the window, trying to get me to pull in etc. Had men stop their car in the road to come over to me to tell me no, they will take "their own fucking time to do the car top, stupid fucking cunt" (he was putting his sports car soft top down in the middle of the road whilst the light was green"), had male motorists almost run me over as a cyclist and tell me "get on the pavement, stupid bitch". Oh. So many.

Learned very, very fast to stay small and quiet and never every make any gesture towards a make driver ever, not a look, not a finger wag, nothing.

Now I've never seen this behaviour from women

I have. I have also seen the behaviour from men against men.
I can't stand the narrative "it wouldn't have happened if I was male". Of course it would. It does everyday.

You're in the UAE?

The worse driver I've ever come across is a local female taxi driver. She's horrendous. Pulls out of junctions without looking, blocks roads and gets aggressive you ask her to move, and has nearly had DH off his bike more than once.

It's the women round here who are aggressive!!

I have been driving for more than 30 years. For most of that time, I drove more than 400 miles a week, and drove on Motorways almost every day. I have driven in many different countries including big road trips across the United States.
Over time, I have concluded that man & women are equally likely to be bad drivers, but in very different ways. When someone is driving too fast & too aggressively, taking stupid risks which endanger themselves & other road users, losing control of their car, tailgating & trying to intimidate other drivers, they are much more likely to be male.
When someone is driving too slowly, nervously & indecisively, hesitating at junctions, pulling out in front of other cars then not accelerating. causing tailbacks of frustrated driver stuck behind them, using the wrong lanes on roundabouts or forcing trucks to overtake them on motorways because they won’t do more than 50, they are much more likely to be female.

What do you mean you can't stand the narrative? Are you denying women are the victim of male violence and aggression daily on the way men are not? You can hare the narrative all you want but it doesn't make it any less true. If its true in this case or re driving is another thing. But to act as if it's untrue that things happen to women that don't happen to men, simply because they are women is just not the facts of the world.
Which by saying you hate that narrative, it wouldn't have happened if I were a man is what you seem to be saying.

As said I have no experience other than being a woman but I know what I see both towards men and women. I simply do not see this happening to men in the same way. But I asked here as what one person sees isn't reality.

But many millions of women have experiences everyday that would not happen if they were men.

I agree those levels of aggression do tend to come from men, but I don’t think they target it at women. I’ve seen a lot of men-on-men road rage action over the years.