Should I ask him out?

[HelloFreshed]

I have recently been lost my job so have had to sign in to UC and have had a few meetings at the Jobcenter to help me find my next role.

I have a lovely work coach and although every meeting with him has been work focused, I do find his personality and energy lovely. I would like to ask him on a date/ out for a coffee but would this be incredibly rude or weird if I did so?
Im aware there may be implications to this and I have no real idea if he is single or married (although I haven’t seen him wear a ring) and after next week I will have a new work coach and won’t be required to go into the Jobcenter so I won’t see him again after this.
Some part of me thinks I’m mad but another part of me thinks you only live once and I get the impression he likes me also but of course has never acted on it due to his job.

YABU - Don’t ask him!
YANBU - Ask him and see how things go.

@MissConductUS I’m so happy for you. Thank you for the kind words, that is reassuring.

I haven’t ever asked anyone out and I have been single for almost 10 years, but there’s something about him that I really like and he is (in terms of looks and it seems personality) the polar opposite to what I usually attract. But I feel there’s something there and for me to even have this bold idea of asking him out is so unlike me - but is leading me to believe I should just take a chance and do it. Even if it doesn’t work out or even if he says no; I feel I owe it to myself to ask.

@cassiatwenty Thank you x

@Honeypickle That is genius!! I may give that a go! Thank you

I think it's fine. I was a work coach at the jobcentre for years, I never once heard any vague mention of how terribly inapropriate it would be to date a claimant. I was asked out by people on my caseload more than once. I said no, it was fine.

I say go for it

He'll get the piss ripped out of him at work. He'll get hauled into a meeting to pick over his conduct with a customer if you ask him out.

If you do, be prepared for the connection you feel to just be his personality/work persona.
I work in a very similar role, with unemployed people, actually work a lot with the job centre, and many colleagues have service users who think they're practically best friends, when colleagues are really doing all they can to get them into work to avoid dealing with them again as soon as possible. I was surprised the first time a colleague said how they wanted to hit their head off the desk repeatedly after laughing and chatting away to someone for a good half hour!
May not be the case here, but it's essentially a professional relationship so it might not all be as it seems.

Absolute nonsense.

Ah, the voice of reason has spoken.

You're quite welcome, I'm sure. By the way, having read some of your updates I think a note or card is the better way.

Just as it is hard for women to make the first move, it's hard for men too. They fear rejection just as women do. They are also often blind to hints and flirting. It's better to be direct about it. As you said, if you don't ask, you'll always wonder what could have happened if you had.

Good luck and do let us know how it went.

I've asked loads of blokes out, but never once while they were working.
It's kind of like someone getting attached to their therapist because they're nice and understanding and say all the right things. He's being professional and the OP is possibly reading something into it that isn't there, he's probably like it with all his clients.

He'll get the piss ripped out of him at work. He'll get hauled into a meeting to pick over his conduct with a customer if you ask him out.

Wow you must work somewhere really shitty!

Who would know? He would have to tell others for them to know - so no need for this to be the case - and you never know he might say yes!

Surely a coach would push for you to do things and try things you wouldn’t normally? So ask him, be brave and you never know, there could be coffee on the cards!

Honeypickle’s idea is brilliant!!! A thank you note after the fact is a much better way to go. Then you are free and clear of the whole professional contact thing and you never have to see him again if he doesn’t go for it. Good luck!

Aw right in the feelz man

Another vote for a thank you card, it's appropriate and he is free to ignore your phone number if he doesn't want any further contact.

This ⬆️ 100%

@MissConductUS Thank you. I will update you all with what happens

thank you again @Honeypickle Your idea is brilliant and I will do just that, write the thank you card and a small slip with my number and so on. If he contacts me then great, if not, at least I have told him and have the opportunity to say thank you.

He isn't going to get hauled over the coals for someone asking him out. He isn't responsible for what other people choose to say and do! Definitely don't ask him out in front of his colleagues though. They will take the piss for ever more.

I know MN hate social media and I'm not sure how old you are, but I think saying something at the end like 'thanks for everything, would love to stay in touch you can get me on Facebook/Instagram/snap' or whatever and write your handle on a post-it. Feels less in-your-face than a full on 'here's my number, call me'. If he adds you, you can then initiate a convo around a date. The post-it is important so that it's clear he's not stalking people!

@hairtodaygonetm
Thank you. I have considered this option also and I have actually tried finding him on Facebook but tricky as I don’t know his last name.

Thanks for the idea

I wouldn't try and find him on Facebook, that's taking you into stalker territory.

I work for DWP .. there is no ban on seeing clients as long as you have no restrictions.. as in he is not YOUR work coach ...

I was going to say do something like this....card and chocolate to say thanks !

@MIBnightmare Thank you. That’s reassuring to hear.

@Suprima it’s absolutely not like a mental health nurse and patient. That’s laughable!