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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if I can stay at a children's party at someone's home?

34 replies

ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 16:47

Okay quick AIBU.

My son has type one diabetes. Diagnosed only a few months ago can't do his care himself just yet.
He was invited to a party in a few weeks, I thought it was at a venue and said yes to find out it's at the party child's home.

Would I be unreasonable to ask to stay with my son? Even though it's their home? I'm not sure I'm putting them in a awkward position! I have social anxiety so not great at these things.

OP posts:
wutheringkites · 28/06/2023 16:48

How old is your son?

HealthyBBQ · 28/06/2023 16:50

How old is he?
If you explained to the mum that he’s newly diagnosed and needs supervision with eating and you there to inject him/look after his pump in sure they’ll be fine and be happy someone else is taking responsibility!

Original poster
ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 16:50

He's 7.

OP posts:
Beautifulsunflowers · 28/06/2023 16:50

I think that’s it would be ok to contact the party child’s parents and ask them and explain why. I think they’d probably be grateful you will be there in case he needs any meds. Unless he’s a teenager! Then you will be cramping his style!!

Wanttobefree2 · 28/06/2023 16:51

I’m very sure they would be fine, just let them know in advance

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 28/06/2023 16:51

I think that's fine - most parents would appreciate having you there to deal with the condition, I suspect.

Just speak to them first and give them a heads up.

Gymmum82 · 28/06/2023 16:52

Of course! Or offer to wait outside in the car and go in to inject etc. The alternative is him not going so I’m sure they will be happy to accommodate

Original poster
ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 16:52

He'll probably complain I'm cramping his style at even seven to be honest. 😂

OP posts:
BamBamBambi · 28/06/2023 16:52

You need to ask the parents if it’s ok not MN.

Pkhsvd · 28/06/2023 16:53

Yes definitely, I’d prefer you to stay rather than have that responsibility

yosj · 28/06/2023 16:54

That would be okay for parties I'v hosted/been to. If it's at someone's house lots of the parents stay and have a chat with food/drinks provided.

Ask the parents.

skyeisthelimit · 28/06/2023 16:55

Just ask if you can stay at the party due to his new condition and offer to help while there. I am sure they will be glad of an extra pair of hands.

My friend attended parties with her DD due to nut allergy. Most parents understand these things

BlissedOutCat · 28/06/2023 16:57

I would have preferred you to stay when it was our DC. I once had a parent hand me an epipen and call back that the child knew what to do as she literally ran out of the door!

underneaththeash · 28/06/2023 16:58

Absolutely!
I think the parents will bite your hand off, unless they're already experienced with type 1 in a child, they're unlikely to be able to manage it themselves anyway.

BTW - I have a lovely brownie with type 1 diabetes who is really good now with managing herself - with just an occasional reminder (she;s just turned 9)

Lacucuracha · 28/06/2023 16:59

i can’t see them objecting. Ask! Better than declining.

Meeting · 28/06/2023 17:01

I'd just ask the parents but maybe say you can wait in the car if they're tight on space.

Funkyslippers · 28/06/2023 17:01

Yes I've done it before, not for any particular reason other than I fancied staying and offered to help with food etc! The other mum was happy for me to stay and things did start to get a bit rowdy so between the 2 of us we mostly kept things under control!

Original poster
ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 17:01

Thanks ladies, I've just asked so fingers crossed did say if it's not okay that's fine too!

I just get anxious about silly things, don't know the parent either so that doesn't help.

OP posts:
BeCruelToBeKind · 28/06/2023 17:03

ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 16:52

He'll probably complain I'm cramping his style at even seven to be honest. 😂

I’d probably sit in the car with a book then and pop in when needed.

However, if a parent asked me I’d be happier if they stayed than have me take responsibility, especially with a busy party going on and a birthday child to give attention to.

Original poster
ThunderStormPlease · 28/06/2023 17:08

I've just added I'm happy to sit in the car and pop in. Thank you good idea should of lead with that first! 🙈
I get terrible anxiety when I don't know people (I have autism), but I really don't want him to miss out.

OP posts:
Cardsarelovely · 28/06/2023 17:27

I have been in a similar situation with a child who has severe food allergies. I didn't feel comfortable leaving them so asked if I could stay. Hosts were happy for me to stay - they said they'd prefer it, they didn't feel able for the responsibility of just being handed an epipen and me heading off!

GulesMeansRed · 28/06/2023 17:28

If I were the hosting mum I would be VERY happy for you to stay as I would not trust myself to spot the signs of an issue with sugar levels.

garfieldeatscake · 28/06/2023 17:30

Can I just say I agree with your username and would love a thunderstorm right now!
Also I always loved it when parents stayed on at my kids parties, it would be a 💯 yes from me!

bellinisurge · 28/06/2023 17:36

I only had parties at home when my dd was little (now 16). I never had a problem with parents/carers staying as long as they didn't expect me to do more than point them at the kettle or the loo. If they were up for joining in, great. If they weren't, also no problem.

Em3978 · 28/06/2023 17:49

I think with a 7yr old, newly diagnosed, and even having had diabetes training myself, I'd WANT you to stay, wherever you feel comfortable. Diabetes is not to be taken lightly!