To not go to engagement party?

[marblesthecat]

I was invited to an engagement party by the bride a couple of months ago. I said I would go but now it's getting closer I am feeling so much dread at the prospect. I'm not feeling great about my appearance atm, there is someone going I really don't like and most importantly I don't want to be tempted by alcohol (I have a drinking problem but I'm tackling it). It's a casual rent a room/bring friends and partners type of party so I don't think I'd even be missed but I don't want her to think I'm snubbing her as I really do like her.

I could just go for an hour but I know I will spend the next couple of weeks worrying about it. I'm usually a big advocate for not doing things you don't want to do as your time is precious but I feel guilty as I do genuinely like her. WIBU to just drop off a present at her house and explain I can't make it?

When is it?

WIBU to just drop off a present at her house and explain I can't make it?

not in the slightest

A couple of weeks' time. I will probably see her before then.

Well there we go. Take her out for a coffee, give present and pass on your apologies

this

Yabu if you said you’d go - I’d be unimpressed if I were your friend

If she is a good friend you could explain that you are trying to stay sober and parties are a struggle. Drop off a nice card and a gift if you want. I’d hope she would be fine with that.

We aren't close friends exactly - she's my hairdresser but we have ended up becoming quite friendly. I think I will most likely just give her a present and explain. I think she'll be fine with it and I'm just overthinking it.

You are

@Lesssugarketchup has nailed it. I'm much more careful now about what I say yes to as I had a breakdown.

I've found a beautiful gift I think she'll love so I'm going to take it round when it arrives and explain. Thanks everyone!

Tbh I'd find it disappointing you weren't there. And they clearly like you no matter what you look like.

But if you're unsure you can stay away from the drink then it's probably best you don't go. I would, however, explain to her why - within reason - you're not attending.

Oh.. if it's your hairdresser then it's really not a big deal to not go. I thought you meant a close pal.