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AIBU?

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Original poster

To do something totally different at 40

116 replies

Mooshamoo · 28/06/2023 09:54

I'm 39. I live alone. I live in Ireland. I own a small house outright from an inheritance.

I'm very lonely and I'm not happy really.

I was considering doing something really radically different than most people do in their forties.

When I was in my early thirties I backpacked around the world for two years and I really enjoyed it.

I have my house up for sale and I just had an offer on it. I will get about 90k. It's a v small house.

I am considering using the money to go and travel for a couple of years around the world . In my forties. If I stay in the cheaper countries I can eek the money out. I will also volunteer at points on workaway com, so I will stay in those places for free.

I would leave my current full time job. But I also work a couple of hours part time in English teaching which I could do from anywhere. Which would help to sustain me.

It's not the normal thing to do in your forties I know, but part of me really wants to do it. The cons are I won't be building up a career in Ireland - like I'll never get to manager level in a sensible career. I know when I went travelling for a couple of years in my early thirties and I came back, I was kind of at the bottom of the ladder sensible careers in Ireland. IE "years of travel" does not look great on your CV.

I also think it's a little irresponsible to choose a different path to the norm in your forties.

However part of me really wants to do it. What do you think. I've no kids and I am single

OP posts:
HerNameIsIncontinentiaButtocks · 28/06/2023 14:41

I'm with the "get rid of the house" crew.

One of my cousins is itinerant - she's been globetrotting for about six years now. She backpacks, campervans, house sits, works at holiday resorts, festivals, animal sanctuaries, tour guiding, that sort of thing. She's been having an absolute whale of a time and been through about 40 countries now. It's often hard work, sometimes lonely, very very rarely scary - she says she's had two worrying incidents which turned out fine, which is fewer than when she was at home in Bristol for the previous six years.

It does suit some people; sounds like you're one! I could only do about three months at a time, I think.

arghtriffid · 28/06/2023 15:58

I wouldn't sell the house. Maybe buy a tent and go wild camping around the UK or save up. Ultimately your decision but... no I wouldn't.

theresalwaysguineapigcurry · 28/06/2023 16:21

Is there the option in Ireland to rent your house to the council? In the UK they will pay you 18 months rent upfront (enough for you to travel for a bit) and they pay your landlord insurance.

3luckystars · 28/06/2023 16:39

Why would you burn through the money now when it’s your prime time for earning it?

I think you should keep the house too, you can get companies that rent it out, like a broker and will look after everything for you. They will vet the tenants for you.

I don’t think you should sell and use the money for travelling. I think you should go travelling and work your way around the world. In a year or two if you still want to sell up, then do it, but not now.

I wish you all the best!

Farmageddon · 28/06/2023 16:53

I would say go for it OP, with a few caveats and a bit of planning.

It's obvious you don't like where you live, so you don't really want to end up back there, if you can make €90k from your house I would put a chunk of it (€40k) into a high yield savings account for a few years, so you have something to fall back. That way if you do want to come back you could move to a different location, and have some money to retrain or have a deposit, but you need to accept you may not ever own a house again. If you are ok with that, then go for it.

Also, have a look at Japan or South Korea if you want to teach english, apparently they provide decent accommodation and the salaries for native english speakers are supposed to be good.

And ignore the people saying 'but what will you do at 80', sure you could be dead by then, who cares!

Pollywoddles · 28/06/2023 17:55

Mooshamoo · 28/06/2023 14:11

Oh thats interesting. I'm annoyed I didn't see that before.

I don't know where I was looking before , but when I was looking at grants to do up houses before , I read something like there must be a child living in the house, in order to qualify for the grant.so I thought I didn't qualify.

So anyone can qualify for those SEAI grants?

Show quote history

Anyone can qualify, you just have to meet some basic requirements , all the information is on the SEAI website.

bigeegit · 28/06/2023 18:14

What about selling the house and using the money to buy a little place outside Ireland? If you pick somewhere nice you could perhaps rent it out if you fancy travelling and then still have a nest to come back to, or you could even live there and teach if you like it and the opportunity is there.

Muddygreenfingers · 28/06/2023 18:33

I've just started training for a pilot's license at 34. I have a 3 year old as well.

People think I'm completely nuts, but it's honestly keeping me sane at the moment. It's something else other than work and parenting, both of which can be relentlessly boring.

So my advice is, yes do it !

Farmageddon · 28/06/2023 18:54

Muddygreenfingers · 28/06/2023 18:33

I've just started training for a pilot's license at 34. I have a 3 year old as well.

People think I'm completely nuts, but it's honestly keeping me sane at the moment. It's something else other than work and parenting, both of which can be relentlessly boring.

So my advice is, yes do it !

That sounds amazing!

OP, could you adjust your plans a bit, and maybe make the money work for you more. Like plan to travel for a few months, but think about using a good chunk of the money to retrain into a good career that you could travel with, that would mean you could work abroad afterwards and earn well. It would set you up for a better future. The problem is teaching english is never going to be a lucrative career. Fine for a while but eventually you may want something different.

I'm not saying don't go backpacking, but if you just run down your savings you may end up stuck and find it's not all that much fun. This may be the only time you have this kind of money to use.

OhComeOnFFS · 28/06/2023 19:14

What's your pension situation, OP?

If I were you I'd definitely go somewhere. I think I'd sell up and invest that money for as long as possible and only live off money I made. That will force you into working.

What is your current full time job? What kind of skills do you have?

ChopSuey2 · 28/06/2023 20:24

Do it! I think you'll regret it if you don't. I'm with the others who suggest renting out you place (managed by someone else) though.

ReachForTheMars · 28/06/2023 20:27

I wouldnt. The money will run out and you will be where you are now. Similar to how you did it in your 30s and now you want to do it again.

I dont think travel is the only thing that can bring you happiness and I think you need to build a life you like, not just try to escape.

towriteyoumustlive · 28/06/2023 20:34

ReachForTheMars · 28/06/2023 20:27

I wouldnt. The money will run out and you will be where you are now. Similar to how you did it in your 30s and now you want to do it again.

I dont think travel is the only thing that can bring you happiness and I think you need to build a life you like, not just try to escape.

But is it really escaping?

People get too fixated on the idea of job/married/house/kids as being the purpose of life, but in reality, surely life is for living. After all, we only get our one chance on this planet.

Who cares if you run out of money? Perhaps the OP will find somewhere en route and want to stay there forever, where the cost of living is miniscule and the way of life very simple.

AceOfCups · 28/06/2023 20:37

It's madness to give up the security of a house at age 40, when you don't have a good career or decent income stream in place.

ReachForTheMars · 28/06/2023 20:39

towriteyoumustlive · 28/06/2023 20:34

But is it really escaping?

People get too fixated on the idea of job/married/house/kids as being the purpose of life, but in reality, surely life is for living. After all, we only get our one chance on this planet.

Who cares if you run out of money? Perhaps the OP will find somewhere en route and want to stay there forever, where the cost of living is miniscule and the way of life very simple.

Show quote history

I think its escaping if it doesnt add to an already happy life.

I think she risks going, being hally for a bit and coming back to the same life. It's happened once already.

Not everything is about house/car/relationships jut there are gyms, books, beaches, open water swims, courses, new skills to learn, walks to take, spas, museums, theatres, knitting, box sets, indulgent bedding, the perfect claw foot bath and bubble bath. A million day to day happinesses that build a whole life and can be enjoyed forever.

Holidays, travel, sure! But packing a bag for 2 years buys 2 years of happiness, not a generally content life where the travel adds to an already happy life.

msmonstera · 28/06/2023 20:51

I'm in Ireland (Dublin) and I would give my teeth for a house that I own! Where is your house?

Beenawhilesinceacupoftea · 28/06/2023 20:55

I’d be very concerned about blowing capital like that. Earn your way round the world, work in bars or something, don’t spend your inheritance. What will you live in later?

you can travel but not like that. Does VSO still exist?

Seebit · 28/06/2023 21:02

I’d do it.

lauraisa · 28/06/2023 21:24

Go for it!! Sell the house but I'd suggest put 50% away in savings or an investment of some type and use the other 50% for living expenses. This will mean working more but there are lots of remote opportunities post-COVID. Not everyone has demanded return to the office. Enjoy your travels!

Gowlett · 28/06/2023 21:31

Owning a house. Being married. Even having kids. Not the be all & the end all.

Gowlett · 28/06/2023 21:31

Or having a “good” job. Go traveling.

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 28/06/2023 21:40

Who cares if you run out of money?

You know it's actually possible to become homeless, right? If you're too old or sick to work and you have no money or assets. Does that sound like a fun adventure to you?

paininthesideback · 28/06/2023 22:10

How exciting, @Mooshamoo !

TLDR: absolutely follow your dreams, but do it wisely - by having a property earning you an income that you can come back to or sell further down the line.

I think you are right to want to shake things up and pursue your dreams as life is most definietly for living. However you seem to be looking at this in a very all or nothing, black and white way. I think compromise and some serious planning would allow you to live the life you want AND have a back up for the future.

Selling up and using the capital to fund your travelling would really not be wise.

In your position I would either sell the house you live in and buy something in a more desirable location that you think you might like to live in a few years from now, and then let it, OR upgrade your current house (with the help of grants) to make it suitable for letting.

Either way I would ensure I had a home to come back to (or sell later when you do know whete you want to settle) as it gives you security and choices. You may never come back to Ireland, but having a home you own outright that is earning you a passive income while you're off exploring is too valuable an asset to give up on a whim.

You would also do well to save a good amount of the rent you get on your house so should aim to fund your lifestyle through the money you earn through working.

Maybe set yourself a deadline of 9-12 months to sort out your house (sell or upgrade) while building up your online teaching business, taking any qualifications that would allow you to earn more, and plan the logistics. That extra time planning could make all the difference between a reasonably comfortable life (wherever you end up) and choiced, and a life of precarity and poverty if you throw caution to the wind.

DamnUserName21 · 29/06/2023 09:16

I agree with keeping the house and renting it out. It will be income for you and it's your nest egg for retirement.
You may never get the opportunity to own your own property again.