Tunisia as a lone mother

[theresalwaysguineapigcurry]

I know mumsnet has many horror stories about Tunisia.
I have booked flights as I really want to see the abandoned Star Wars sets with my two kids (5 and 8). I am a lone parent and go all over the world with them, however I am nervous about this one for some reason.
Is it some unconcious islamaphobia or is there really something to be concerned about?
I've been to Morocco as a lone female (pre kids) and it was fine. If it makes any difference I am dark haired and skinned so I'm not sure if that helps. One of my kids looks like me but the other one is pale and has light brown hair. Regardless, we won't pass for Tunisian due to our lack of French or Arabic!
Also, do we go all inclusive (not my usual style but probably cheapest and less stressful) or book somewhere in the city with a kitchen? I think I would feel guilty eating so much when there is so much poverty, but then does tourism help? If I was really that bothered I probably wouldn't go and would donate the money.

The OP didn't ask that did she, she asked about Tunisia and that's what people have done - given their own experiences in Tunisia.

I'm Arab and I wouldn't go to North Africa. They harass women, even Arab women covered up. Why you'd want to spend your hard earned cash in a country that doesn't respect women is beyond me.

I went with my mother as adults about 10 years ago. We went on an organised tour (Jules Verne) and had an amazing time - we normally travel independently. We saw the Star Wars set which was fun, but the archaeology was amazing. Neither of us felt particularly hassled for being women (we wore our usual summer dresses which were below the knee, plus a loose scarf if we needed to cover a bit more) but only had few days without the guide. We were hassled a bit as tourists, but nothing to make us uncomfortable.

FYI Tunis and Morocco don't have a good reputation even amongst Arabs, it's not Islamophobia (they're not even that religious in those countries!) Their men are incredibly pushy and aggressive in hitting on women and don't respect them. If you get in trouble their police are useless and victim blaming. Take your kids somewhere else that's safe. Hot weather is plenty these days.

I went on my own with both my kids. We had no problems at all and I didn't cover from head to foot in flowing robes! Our hotel and staff were lovely and we went on excursions with other tourists and only had the usual hassle about buying a carpet that we didn't want etc...

So many varied opinions! Again, I'm not particularly anxious and have had good experiences in Morocco etc, even out in the sticks but Tunisia seems to attract a lot of negative comments. And I feel there must be a reason for that?

I've been several times including alone. Pale, blonde, blue eyes, slimish, youngish. Never had any hassle there.

I did not have any problems in Tunisia (that I remember), but plenty in Morocco (to be fair I was with someone who wets her knickers if she gets any male attention) and Egypt where for some reason after a bloke had helped my friend put luggage on a trolley he put his hand between my legs (I was wearing jeans!)

Yes, and I gave my experience (very extensive, extended experience). And it doesn't seem to be the same as lots of other's experience. I'm sorry for them that they had a rubbish time, it's obviously Not On, and almost all Tunisians would agree with that. I don't really have much experience of the resorts, but the OP isn't asking about resorts.

The OP also made reference to Morocco (which I actually found more difficult) but plenty of other posters have dismissed the entirety of a number of other countries in the region.

OP- if you are doing the Star Wars sites you'll be with a guide anyway, as they're basically impossible to find on your own. So that's a total hassle minimization strategy in itself (they will shoo away anyone trying to sell you trinkets). DM me if you want a recommendation of an agency. This guy also does a lot of videos on Travel around the country including of the star wars sites: https://youtube.com/@ScafidiTravels

You could also ask on My Tribe Travels of Facebook which has a lot of Lone Parent independent travellers.

Frankly I concluded that if the men in that country want to behave that way then who gives a shit about their poverty, they can just deal with other places getting the tourist bucks

I felt much the same about Egypt, especially when at airport security they had women to search their own female travellers but allowed a huge slavering guy to handle foreign women - the look on his face as he approached a blonde teenager is something I'll never forget, and this in an official setting FGS

As with them disenfranchising much of the female population I'll be very clear that their management of their own country is up to them and frankly none of my business ... but don't then come whining about how poor you are

OP I have been to the star wars sites (albeit 2 decades ago) and they were very underwhelming amd not at all what you have seen in the films. I went as part of a tour and they're not places you can get to easily in a day - unless you are OK with dragging your kids out across sometimes quite desolate landscapes. As for hotels, I wouldn't stay outside of a resort (and I'm quite a gung-ho lone female traveller with very good French) and I'm afraid I wouldn't feel safe being responsible for small children in a city, it only takes a moment to loose contact.

I loved the Matmata 'caves'

I found it hard work, I have fair hair and pale skin and very obviously not local. Stayed in a hotel where I felt safe but constant attention in the souks and other places outside the hotel were relentless. Also did a trip to see some of the Star Wars locations which I did enjoy but the accommodation was very basic and I was glad to get back to the hotel. Was not a relaxing experience.

If you're definitely going to do it wear sunglasses to avoid eye contact, a ring on your left hand ring finger might help too.

totally agree. I think if we stop calling out bad behaviour from people belonging to any particular group - marginalised or not, its a massive slippery slope. in certain countries men behave extremely badly towards women. this has nothing to do with the local religion, but ingrained misogyny due to lack of education + twats will always be twats and we need to call their behaviour out for what it is without being afraid of appearing discriminatory.

... Have you looked at the current travel advice for Tunisia OP? Might be worth a look, it's scary reading... There is an ongoing State of Emergency that has been extended a number of times since 2015, most recently in Feb 22. Security forces remain on high alert.. areas where tourists are known to gatheray be at higher risk of (terrorist) attack

I went about 10 years ago and absolutely hated it. I wouldn’t be going as a lone woman with kids at all! To be honest we visited the Star Wars set and it was crap, not worth the risks by going there.
If you can cancel and rebook do it

Frankly I concluded that if the men in that country want to behave that way then who gives a shit about their poverty, they can just deal with other places getting the tourist bucks

I reached the same conclusion about Morocco and Egypt. I went to Egypt on a guided Exodus tour and all the women were aggressively hassled. Even the waiters in the hotel were whispering obscenities in my ear as they bent forward to put my plate on the table and a complaint to the hotel management just led to confused looks. Age offers no protection. We had one woman who was a grey-haired 60-something grandmother and was groped like the rest of us. I'll give money to charities that support women in those countries but I'll be damned if I contribute to their economies.

The State of Emergency is linked to the current political regime (another sad story in itself post Arab-spring).

UK travel advice here: https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/tunisia/safety-and-security

Background on the current politics (the thing to be very aware of when you travel from an understanding perspective, not a risk perspective): https://newlinesmag.com/spotlight/what-wait-and-see-has-brought-tunisia/

For some more background reading on how Tunisia shapes up against the rest of the region on gender equality you can start to read here: https://www.mei.edu/publications/gender-gaps-mena-remain-stubbornly-entrenched-despite-positive-trends

As a Tunisian, this thread is so depressing. Please don’t write of an entire (incredibly beautiful) country and it’s people because of some lecherous dogs, they are in the minority. Just stay out of the tourist areas, they’re full of desperate men trying to escape poverty having been sold a dream about European women looking for handsome lovers 🙄

How is she to stay out of the tourist areas as a tourist herself? Even if a lot of what you want to see is less stereotypically touristy, you're almost always going to be overlapping with some typical tourist attractions on a first visit to a place. To not do so would be to miss out.

We took our DC to Tunisia several times when they were small. It was always fantastic - everyone was so friendly and welcoming. We travelled independently each time, train from Tunis to Sousse, and booked our own hotels by beaches in Sousse, Hammamet and Mahdia. The hotels all had lots of pools, buffet dinner/breakfast, and kids club if wanted (in English) and the DC still remember those holidays fondly.

Oh and myself and the DC (when small) were all very blonde

Hear, hear.

I'm not tunisian, but the responses on here are nothing like my experience of visiting Tunisia. Not that there wasn't any hassle, but no more than where I live in the UK.

My visits were not in the past 20 years, and perhaps that made a difference.
Maybe it depends on the resort.

For context, I go to Egypt about 5 times a year and own an apartment there, I happily go about on my own or with DD and experience no hassle (Hurghada).

Wild horses wouldn’t drag me back to Tunisia. I went there twice as a teenager - I had men trying to put their hands in my knickers when swimming in the sea. One tried to kiss me at the back of a shop. Another came up and touched my breasts in broad daylight. Loads more occurrences like this, it was relentless and constant and it certainly wasn’t a minority of men, and you couldn’t get away from it even in the resort. Avoid like the plague.

I have travelled a bit, including to the ME and Tunisia was the only place I hated and didn’t feel safe. We were 2 couples and even being 200 years from our husbands resulted in unwanted attention and in a couple of cases groping attempts - and we were both dark haired, in our 30s and dressed pretty conservatively
Its nothing to do with Islam, it’s cultural not religious

I meant the tourist hotel complexes like Port El Kantaoui, etc. Generally if TUI are offering holidays there, stay away. Stay in an Airbnb (there’s loads of beautiful villages/towns and more affluent Tunisians let out their second/beach homes, you will need a phrase book though!) There’s always a nearby local bakery for fresh pastries and coffee, the little supermarkets will have the freshest, locally grown fruit and vegetables and Tunisian cous cous and shakshouka is the most delicious in N. Africa (biased but true!). Either hire a car or use taxis/Bolt to get to the places you want to see. Places like El Jem, the Tatooine set, Roman ruins and Sahara trips will all be fine. Cities like Tunis and Sousse are manic but there’s so much to see and do, the Medinas are world heritage sites plus the hassling is nowhere near the levels of Morocco or Egypt (ime). OP I hope you will have a lovely time in Tunisia, PM if you need advice about anything.