I'll try to keep this brief without too much identifying info...
My parents are in the middle of a messy divorce.
It has reached the point where DM wants to take proceedings to court for a financial remedy application. However, on receiving the SOW from the solicitor it is clear she would not be able to afford the fees. In fact, it would wipe out what she has put aside entirely and then some.
The big problem here is that DM has MH problems and substance abuse issues. Throughout various stages of this process she has been in psychiatric care or not in active recovery.
Last night she was in a state saying she didn't know what to do as she can't afford the next step in the process.
So far I have tried to remove myself from the particulars of the situation. I fully support the divorce, their marriage has always been tumultuous and I feel separation is right for them both. However I'm worried she is not in a place to advocate for herself/ask the right questions/understand her options, etc. I'm not saying outright the solicitor isn't acting in her best interests, but I do worry about their motivations considering the money that's involved.
I've tried to ask her what is the next step if she can't pay for court and she says she doesn't know. This rings alarm bells for me as she should have known when she made this decision, in my opinion. Of course, to this point I haven't been privy to any of the conversations she's been having with her solicitor, so everything I hear is through her, often when things aren't so good.
I don't want to get involved at all tbh. But I feel she needs someone on her side to help. So last night I suggested that I get in touch with the solicitor and arrange a 3 way video call where I can ask questions/take notes on the current situation and options for next steps.
DM is on board with this but I'm worried that if this comes to light it could come across as though I'm taking sides. I'm not - I just feel DM needs an advocate in what is an extremely difficult time. I want to help her end this quickly so she can focus on her recovery, because every time something like this happens she slips back.
AIBU offering to get involved? Should I just back off or am I doing the right thing?