Posting shamelessly for traffic as I need some advice and impartial opinions plleeaassee.
Few details changed as I know some of my colleagues are on here. I'll try and keep it brief, but I don't want to drip feed.
So. I recently returned to the world of work after maternity leave, new employer, been there a few months (out of probation period and notice period is LONG).
Current employer has been decent in terms of needing to leave a couple of times to get my DD from nursery. It's a convenient commute, good hours, I manage a small team of people, and had a decent payrise at the end of my probation period. The work is manageable at the moment, although this will change soon as there is due to be an internal reshuffle which will see me having to pull alot of (unpaid) overtime in an interim period of 2 to 4 months, whilst we train new people.
The huge cons, are the working environment. I need to keep this bit vague but it's awful. There are no facilities, no toilet without going outside and through a smoking yard, and no kitchen facilities. It smells terrible and is beyond dirty. There is a new office being built which should be done in the next 3 to 4 years...
Next big issue is some of the other departments I have to deal with. Slow to return required information and sometimes it's very hard to get mine and my teams work done due to a general lack of understanding and common sense.
I applied for a different company, similar role, a few weeks ago, one day when I'd just had enough of the environment and the people. I was invited for interview. I actually then cancelled twice as I felt guilty, and then after they explained a bit more about the company and the role, I decided to go for an informal chat/interview.
They offered me the job on the spot, there's been some back and forth over salary and terms, and they've essentially exceeded my current renumeration package. The holiday, sick and pension package are also better. The team seem great and they are a very family friendly employer. It's a longer commute but this can still work around nursery and they are financially compensating for this. The office is beautiful and in a great location.
I've told them I have accepted their offer. But I'm now finding it IMPOSSIBLE to tell my current employer. My leaving would essentially put a halt to the internal shuffle that is planned, and my field is hard to recruit for, it will also stop one of my team having a move they've wanted for a while. I also feel like I owe them some gratitude/loyalty, because other than the abysmal working conditions, they've bent over backwards for me, after I cautiously navigated being a full time and first time working mum.
Friend says I'm being daft. And I shouldn't make decisions based on other people or a fear of upsetting them, that I moan about the current place so makes no sense not to take the new offer. but I am inherently a people pleaser, and am finding the thought of telling them I'm resigning really uncomfortable. Am I finding it hard because subconsciously I don't think it's a worthwhile move, or just because I don't want to upset people?
What if the new company aren't as great as they seem to be? What if I leave and think I've made a terrible mistake?
So many more what ifs, and I essentially am finding it like breaking up with someone, who's done nothing wrong. But there just isn't that connection.
Please help this stressed out momma make a decision!!! All advice welcome 🙏