To really hate unanounced visitors

[Furrydog7]

Just that really. I have a neighbour who will just walk in if my door is unlocked. If my door is locked she will just stand there and knock until i answer. She is unable to comprehend the fact that i might be busy. My mum thinks that i should drop everything for unanounced visitors.

Lock the door, put privacy film on your windows so people can't see in from the outside and then just ignore them. They'll go away in the end.

I don't like unannounced visitors, if people want to come round they can text or ring ahead. If there's an actual emergency like they've been attacked or are on fire they can shout.

Me too. I don't like it when people drop in. I'm busy!

Your neighbour sounds demented, knocking until you answer.

This is so easily resolved!

Firstly, why on earth would you leave your door unlocked when you’re in? I assume you lock it when you go out, and all that’s there is material possessions? So why not lock it when there’s actual precious people in there?

Secondly, I don’t answer my door if I don’t want to, which is most of the time. Let her keep knocking, who cares? She’ll go away eventually. If she speaks to you about it later, you just say “oh, was that you? Yeah I just wasn’t up to visitors “.

Your mum can do what she wants with her own unannounced visitors, but you don’t have to copy her.

Eventually neighbour will realise you have boundaries and will find someone else to bother.

Whether you hate unannounced visitors or not, nobody should be walking into your home. Your mum is wrong, you shouldn’t drop everything for unannounced visitors!

Ring doorbell - and lock the door at all times. I refuse to answer my door unless I have prior notification of someone coming. I work from home and have a busy homelife and hate people encroaching on that.

My inlaws do it and it has created a deep, deep sense of rage in me when people do it. They’d let themselves into the drive, put the animals at risk, bypass the front door and stand peering through the back window, before trying all the doors. They’ve let themselves in when we were on honeymoon and invited guests (we came back and found them all), they’ve rocked up unannounced at 7am and wandered in through an unlocked door, appeared days early for an event…

I am so angry just thinking about it.

I only had my door unlocked as i was having work done and the workmen were going to their van to fetch tools etc. My neighbour just walked in for a chat even though it was obvious that i was having work done.

So OP why didn't you just say, oh sorry, I'm really busy, and steer her out the door?

@Tiddlypomtiddlypom Do they have a key? Take it back. If not, as per previous advice, lock your doors!!!

I have taken it back. Believe me. It caused ructions.

We live rurally, we often have doors open or unlocked for the animals. Surely I shouldn’t have to keep doors locked to prevent inlaws, who have been told not to, walking in at 7am when I’ve let the dogs out and am making a pot of tea in my pants?

To the wandering neighbour speak your mind, don’t engage, tell her now is really not a good time as you herd her back towards the door.

And loudly lock the door behind her.

Doesn’t bother me but then unexpected visitors are rare and are never unannounced here as we have big noisy dogs and live out in the countryside. Our house is generally tidy and presentable though none of my friends would judge or give a stuff if it was messy as we all have lots of kids and animals. I like having a full house and the kids always have friends here and we are very easy going.

It constantly surprises me how many people on MN seem to have problems enforcing their own boundaries.

Why would you keep leaving your door open if you know your neighbour will just walk in unannounced? You know she does it, so lock the door and ignore her when she knocks - she's not going to stand there forever, is she?!

Lock your doors. If you don’t want to open your door then don’t, even if she keeps knocking. She’ll have to go away eventually. You don’t have to do what your mum says, you can make your own decisions.

Personally, I’d just answer the door but tell her you don’t have much time. Be firm if you need to. You’re an adult, take control.

I'm always so surprised when I hear people don't lock their doors when at home. A door that no one else can access is different but any door that is accessible - why wouldn't you lock it?

Anyway, I'm on the side of not having to be pleased to see unannounced visitors. I think it's actually quite rude to drop in on people and expect them to be happy and ready to receive you. I'd always want a quick text first so I could say yes or no.

Most of the time i do have my door locked. I only had it unlocked because i was having work done. I had just moved too and it had never been bothered by my neighbours in my previous property whilst having work done. Yes i was niieve but she has been a family friend for years. At the time i thought that she would message before coming round. I didn't think that she was the type of person to invite herself in when i was having work done.

I don't mind most people I know just walking into my house, but one person does my head in to the point that I feel I have to grab my coat and run away. This one person is the reason I started locking my door and being less sociable with the people I like.

My dh told a random neighbour woman down our road she can just "come and knock anytime" - yeah, okay for him because he's not here 80% of the effing time! So she turns up on my doorstep one day, and I stand there for 45 minutes listening to her complain about how no one in her building likes her "all because I just wanted to open my lungs at 3am with a good song" (WTF?!), and then using me as a sounding board for all her troubles. No, just...no. That's not what I'm here for, I have kids to look after and a life to live and I'm sorry your adult children don't come see you but I am TOO BUSY to listen to you complain for an hour every time.

DH sternly told to never, ever tell anyone again they can just "knock whenever they want". FFS.

Ring, text or email first and get clearance. Or else you don't get let in. That's how we operate. And all doors kept locked. Anyone walking in would get a mouthful, assuming that was possible. The only exception would be cats.

Yanbu I hate visitors full stop at the minute though being 36 weeks pregnant currently and sickness back is keep the door locked and stop answering she will get the hint your not happy!

But WHO the fuck just walks in anyway?!!! Jessssusss!

Mumsnet is a mystery world sometimes.

Q: How do you stop someone walking into your house through your unlocked door?

A: Lock your door.

Q: How do you stop someone walking into your house when your open your door to them?

A: Tell them they can't come in.

Your mum can do what she wants with her own unannounced visitors, but you don’t have to copy her.

This! Does your mum arrive at your house and just walk in!?

If someone knocks, you can always ignore it. 9 times out of 10 for us, it's a chugger. Or someone else's delivery.

I don't like unannounced visitors either. In fact I don't like visitors at all really.
You should have addressed the walking in as it happened. You've kind of established the expectations now. It's not too late to change. Forget trying to manage things with feasible excuses etc. You don't need one. It's perfectly fine to say you're not up for visitors. Just say that. Open the door and ask what she wants. When she says nothing just say 'lm not up for visitors atm.' If she says she wants to talk about X, Y, Z say, Oh nothing urgent. I'm not up for visitors. Some other time maybe...
Don't pretend you're not in. You'll make a rod for your own back!

This thread is in the mirror apple.news/AK3UnyTyfQu-5jZJ6WEQ_Ug

Ffs great journalism 👏 well done paps

Amber O'Connor has done a stellar job of copy and paste, she's going to be 🤑🤑🤑 tonight