AIBU to ask whether anyone has used a private detective?

[HappilyContentTheseDays]

Never something I've considered before, but a difficult situation has arisen and I want to trace someone. Situation irrelevant, I don't want to go into that but no, I'm not stalking anyone, in case someone asks....

I have some details, I have a name, an area of the country, I know their partners' name but no exact dates of birth. I have some other details like recent jobs left (in other parts of the UK) and a mobile number (but it isn't being used).

I would like to find out their address. They have been careful not to have it listed anywhere, no electoral role for instance and other places where the name crops up (connected to a minor public office for instance) the address is specifically withheld. There is no social media at all, I suspect to remain under the radar.

I wondered if a private detective company might be able to find out an address? How would I choose such a company, how would I know they were legit rather than scammers? I am in the UK by the way, and so is the person I'm searching.

Anyone any experience at all they would like to share?

AIBU to consider this?

I have considered it. I think you can do a lot online - it sounds like you have done quite a bit. Surely you can just hire one for a set rate to find an address? Can you not get one reviewed well on TrustPilot?

I have been looking online, there seem to be a few companies but I suppose I'm concerned about being scammed by some company offering a service which doesn't deliver....

I think it depends a lot on the reasons though (which I know you won’t disclose). It does sound unreasonable to me & makes me feel uncomfortable that you’re trying to find out someone’s address. But I suppose it depends on the context.

This. If someone wants to be under the radar as you say, I'd support that unless there's a very good reason for you not to respect it.

I have had some professional contact with a PI which was very interesting.

They're good for tracing people like this. There are specialist tracing services. Some of them are no find no pay I think.

Steer clear of private detectives on a watching brief, to follow people etc. Pointless and expensive.

I know of a family who did, to confirm a suspected OW (and possibly DC). They were right, but I don't think they ever confronted the family member involved - the DC of the family were all middle aged by the time they got the courage to do it, and it only came out after the mother had died.

Yes, it's a sort of tracing service I want. I don't want any of the watching people and following folk around at all, that's not what I'm after in any way and entirely unnecessary. Just information.

Well there may be a very good reason they have gone under the radar. Are tracing services just allowed to give out addresses?

I have found some tracing services online, they tend to charge by the hour or a flat rate (eg. £50 fee if they find the person or no fee if not). I can't really tell if they are legit or not, some look good but who knows....I was hoping someone might have used such a service or have some advice.

It would seem some services offer total confidentiality, others don't. Some ask for details such as whether I know of relatives, dates of birth, last known address or areas of the country to be looking in. Some promise searches that go above and beyond the electoral roll opt-out business....

Doubt it and if they did and that persons was in witness protection they'd be breaking all kinds of laws.

There is a professional body: https://www.theabi.org.uk/
They maintain a list of 'approved' investigators - maybe that's a good place to start?

Alternatively, there are companies that (for example) specialise in tracking down relatives after someone's died intestate (without leaving a will). Solicitors often have to hire them to do this kind of research, so may be able to recommend somebody?

I seem to recall a previous thread where the OP had been contacted by a detective agency to ask if they could give her address to someone who was looking for her. I think she was freaked out and didn't want her address passed on, but it sounds like that was an ethical agency in that respect. I'm afraid I can't remember the detail of the thread or anything but I would imagine a decent agency would always do it that way.

A good place to start might be to speak to a "process server". These are people who will legally serve court papers to individuals who ignore documents sent through the post. They often also work as people tracers and/or private detectives too, and as they have to be approved and registered to be process servers that might give more reassurance they are legit.

They know their stuff. Chap we employed to serve court papers on OH's went to her house dressed as a workman in high vis, with cut off short and desert boots because he knew full well she wouldn't answer the door to anyone 'official ' looking. Different senario obviously, but committed to their job and very professional.

To clarify, we knew her address. I'm just explaining that the commitment and fact they're court approved might reassure you these people are legit.

Well that's a bit creepy...

Zombie thread

oh gosh i didn't even realise! how weird that it came up on my feed!