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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not let them know we’re getting married

5 replies

Thenamechangey · 26/06/2023 18:04

I’ve posted once before under this name change.

I have a horrible family. It’s mostly my mum and dad, but my siblings aren’t exactly great because they’ve been brought up by said parents and they stick by them.

My fiancé and I want to get married soon. Would you reach out and invite them? (Not sure if this makes a difference, but my sister got married last year and didn’t invite me.)

I’d rather have nothing to do with my parents ever again, but my siblings are a lot younger than me and perhaps it’s unreasonable towards them? But then how do you invite some family only?

OP posts:
justrude · 26/06/2023 18:06

What is your ideal perfect wedding?

How feasible is that?

Lots of people get married in secret and then tell their families later. They may even have a little bbq or party to mark the occasion, if they so desire.

Do what you and your fiancé want.

And... congratulations! I Hope it is great

VickyEadieofThigh · 26/06/2023 18:08

No matter what anyone else thinks or says, you must do what YOU want to do.

I had no family at either of my weddings because I can't bear fuss - 2 guests at one, 3 at the other.

Hbh17 · 26/06/2023 18:12

You don't have to invite anyone if you don't want to - why ruin your day? Concentrate on your good friends, and your partner's family only (if they're OK).

Doggymummar · 26/06/2023 18:14

I wouldn't invite them if you don't want to.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 26/06/2023 18:19

I got married very quietly, only two friends as witnesses and lunch afterwards. We were both over fifty so I suppose it may have been less of a big deal.

I didn’t tell my mother ( my father was dead) until about three years later. She and DH didn’t get on ( understatement of the year) . Surprisingly she was pleased.

do whatever you think will give you the best memories ( doesn’t sound as if this means including your family).

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