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Should I help him pay?

4 replies

AnneNotEmily · 26/06/2023 16:53

Last year DH and I needed some work doing on the house and we also planned to take a holiday. Both came to about the same amount and so we said the easiest way to do it was that he would pay for one and I would pay for the other. I put the holiday on the credit card and took about 8 months to pay it off, I’d assumed he had done the same. Today he’s been in a foul mood and it’s come out that he took a loan out to pay for the work.

This is where is gets a bit more complicated…I already paid for some of the work being done as I had to collect a load of the materials but I didn’t ask for it back, we both benefitted from the work etc. He has been given a lot of money by family over the years which he has put into lots of different things, again I don’t really see any of it. I do earn a bit more than him but I keep my money quite close as he’s awful with money, it literally runs through his fingers like water! However I didn’t know about the loan and I wonder if I should pay for this as well.

OP posts:
Scienceadvisory · 26/06/2023 17:03

Why would you help him pay? You split the costs evenly. You chose to fund your share via credit card that you have now paid off. He chose to fund his via loan that he is still paying. I don't understand your thought process where you would take on some of his share just because he's taken longer to pay than you did.

Hoppinggreen · 26/06/2023 17:05

I can see why you have separate finances.
Why is he grumpy about it? Is he struggling to pay the loan?

Dreamer8 · 26/06/2023 17:08

I cant understand separate finances it always seems to cause tit for tat. But no I wouldn't help him, why should you? He's obviously shit with money so needs to learn how to sort himself out properly.

BarbaraofSeville · 26/06/2023 17:12

What different things? His hobbies etc?

For joint costs like work on the house and holidays, as well as bills, food etc, it might work better if you both put most of your salaries into a joint account to cover all these things then you get an equal amount of personal spending money that you can spend as you see fit. Therefore it makes sure that you're both contributing fairly to joint costs and these all get paid for.

Then he's free to waste his share on whatever it is that he buys without threatening your overall financial stability.

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