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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not bother going to my new job tomorrow?

130 replies

Helmhun · 25/06/2023 23:10

So I recently lost my job, i’ve been applying and interviewing like a crazy woman.
I have been offered a job, which includes working weekends which is less than ideal because i’m a single parent to 2 kids, I would be relying on family to make it work ( not the most reliable)

I accepted the job knowing I wouldn’t be staying long but I needed the money. However i’ve been offered another job with perfect hours, more money and no working weekends which is what I wanted. The start date to this perfect job however is 3 weeks away so i could technically work the first job to earn some money. However it feels quite pointless, I’m on universal credit so i’m sure that would mess up somewhere.

What do i do? I hate letting people down, i have signed a contract that states I need to give a weeks notice.

OP posts:
marblemad · 26/06/2023 04:26

Busybutbored · 26/06/2023 03:44

I'd call them and explain the situation and ask if they'd like you to come in and work your two weeks. I can't believe people in here saying not to bother showing up, or worse to get them to train you and not tell them. Some people have zero ethics

But she doesn't actually owe them anything?? A new start doesn't help business and no point her turning up and wasting their time , just let them know another role offered more money and development and let them call someone else.

Starseeking · 26/06/2023 04:37

You need to go in, and give them the courtesy of at least explaining what has happened.

I offered a role to someone who called on the Friday before she was due to start on the Monday saying she'd got a higher paying job. We matched it, then she came back saying she'd been offered another higher paying job. This time we let her go.

She then added me on LinkedIn, which I rejected. She'd really messed us around, and wasted our time, plus I now needed to find someone else.

Travis1 · 26/06/2023 05:04

Starseeking · 26/06/2023 04:37

You need to go in, and give them the courtesy of at least explaining what has happened.

I offered a role to someone who called on the Friday before she was due to start on the Monday saying she'd got a higher paying job. We matched it, then she came back saying she'd been offered another higher paying job. This time we let her go.

She then added me on LinkedIn, which I rejected. She'd really messed us around, and wasted our time, plus I now needed to find someone else.

She wasted your time by getting herself a position with the best terms available? Or maybe you wasted her time offering a salary significantly less than what she was worth 🤷🏻‍♀️

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 26/06/2023 06:11

The first company won’t give a damn if you don’t start. They will have a second choice lined up, and they will just offer the job to them.

Phone them and tell them you’ve been offered a better job and you’re going to take it. Don’t apologise or waffle, just state the facts. Half an hour after your call they will have forgotten you ever existed, so do the same.

It fascinates me how so many posters think you owe loyalty to a company who doesn’t even know who you are, beyond offering you a job. A company wouldn’t hesitate to do the best thing for them, so make sure you do the best thing for you.

Teateaandmoretea · 26/06/2023 06:26

I think you have to go for financial reasons. Surely if you are on UC you don’t have money to spare?

Teateaandmoretea · 26/06/2023 06:29

Helmhun · 25/06/2023 23:33

I think I will go tomorrow and wait to hear in regards to the second job. It would be silly not to

I also think it may not affect UC because of it being in two different assessment periods? Pay wise 🤞

I completely agree with this. Don’t worry about pissing them off. If they decided they didn’t like you then you’d quickly be on that week’s notice, If your other job starts earlier then there is nothing they can do if you don’t work notice.

Original poster
Helmhun · 26/06/2023 06:35

I’ve been on uc due to childcare costs, I recently got a payment from my work as it went into liquidation. I don’t NEED the money. However I don’t want to mess around with my uc changing jobs or get taxed crazy amounts

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 26/06/2023 06:38

I dobt see the point in wasting their time training you for, for a week. And yes it will mess up your universal credit, its not worth it. Just email them or call to say, "I'm sorry im not taking this job, because a better job has been offered. It's better hours which fit my family needs better."

Bananasinpjamas4567 · 26/06/2023 06:39

I can’t believe so many people are ok with subsidising the OP though their taxes so she can make an active choice not to work for three weeks because it’s not ideal. FFS you have a job, go to work.

Original poster
Helmhun · 26/06/2023 06:44

Its hardly subsiding as I only get my childcare paid by uc, however i’m not in work so no childcare needs to be paid :)

My payment from work is classed as earnings for this month. So i’ve ‘earned’

If it will mess up my future benefit payments, which as a single mother I do rely on as my childcare bill is over £1000 every month. I think it’s sensible to consider all options. For the sake of 2* weeks earning sorry its not worth it to me

OP posts:
weirdo123 · 26/06/2023 06:46

Keep us posted

mindfluff · 26/06/2023 07:17

Starseeking · 26/06/2023 04:37

You need to go in, and give them the courtesy of at least explaining what has happened.

I offered a role to someone who called on the Friday before she was due to start on the Monday saying she'd got a higher paying job. We matched it, then she came back saying she'd been offered another higher paying job. This time we let her go.

She then added me on LinkedIn, which I rejected. She'd really messed us around, and wasted our time, plus I now needed to find someone else.

This is fairly standard in headhunting circles though. I don't think there was anything unprofessional per se about what she did, though of course it depends on the exact conversation(s) you had

underneaththeash · 26/06/2023 07:24

I don't think it's in the companies interests for you to start either.

They're not going to want to spend time training some one up for a job they're going to leave.

FlamingoQueen · 26/06/2023 07:37

Wait until you have an offer in writing from your new job. It’s also better for your other employer because you can start in good faith today and then say (tomorrow?) that you’ve just received another job offer that suits your family with childcare etc - do they want you to just leave or stay for the couple of weeks. Good luck.

PuddlesPityParty · 26/06/2023 07:45

Honestly until you’ve actually started in the new job it’s not guaranteed so I would go in so you have it as a back up either way.

User163876621 · 26/06/2023 07:49

Bananasinpjamas4567 · 26/06/2023 06:39

I can’t believe so many people are ok with subsidising the OP though their taxes so she can make an active choice not to work for three weeks because it’s not ideal. FFS you have a job, go to work.

But it's just paying for the childcare that she won't be using so no childcare, no UC.

londonrach · 26/06/2023 07:52

Go in and explain. It's rude not to turn up

Starseeking · 26/06/2023 07:53

@Travis1 @mindfluff I thought when people sign contracts of employment to start work at a particular time, the professional thing to do is honour them. Maybe that's just my experience 🤷‍♀️

Batalax · 26/06/2023 08:00

Go, immediately tell them the situation and ask them if it’s worth them bothering to training you. That gives them the option and puts you in a better light.

Teateaandmoretea · 26/06/2023 08:02

User163876621 · 26/06/2023 07:49

But it's just paying for the childcare that she won't be using so no childcare, no UC.

Show quote history

So she has childcare that she can just drop for 3 weeks and then magically pick up again when she starts work again. Wow, that’s impressive.

nevynevster · 26/06/2023 08:06

I've had people not turn up on the first day of work. My ex was offered a job and they withdrew the offer (due to restructuring) the week before he was about to start.

Take your perfect job and call the other company today and say your circumstances have changed and you no longer can do this job but you are happy to work your notice if they wanted.

As an employer I'd prefer that than you starting and leaving 3 weeks later.

Homeywomey · 26/06/2023 08:09

I would call them first thing in the morning and explain the whole situation including your worries about UC, then ask if they want you to go in for 3 weeks. Bet they’ll say no, but at least you show willing and don’t burn your bridges.

ThePM · 26/06/2023 08:10

Happytohelp2 · 25/06/2023 23:14

If you hate letting people down then you should go to the job. It’ll make you feel better about yourself. Self respect and personal values are important, if sometimes inconvenient.

This.
honestly this.

Twiglets1 · 26/06/2023 08:14

I wouldn’t go in if it is likely to mess up your UC.
It was just unfortunate timing but you need to put yourself & family first.

Original poster
Helmhun · 26/06/2023 08:14

Well this month has been paid for, next month I will pay & then be reimbursed by uc because i will be in paid employment. Thanks for the concern even though it has nothing to do with the question i asked

OP posts: