After some opinions please. AIBU to feel upset by this situation?
DD (7) had two friends over today. Friend 2 wanted to play something different to the DD and Friend 1 and seemed a bit out of sorts from the moment she arrived. Felt like I had to do a fair bit of management to make sure that they were all playing together; there was no purposeful exclusion but I didn’t like the thought of friend 1 playing with DD and friend 2 not (and potentially feeling excluded, even if it was her own choice).
Fast forward to half an hour later. All three playing a game outside (I’m outside too) and I hear raised voices between DD and Friend 2. DD had held a reasonable boundary with Friend 2 about something to do with the game (ie not giving the craft she had just made for herself to friend 2). DD Friend 2 goes inside saying ‘I hate her’ and then doesn’t engage with any of us for the rest of the play date (another half an hour) and refuses to say goodbye to anyone when her parent collects (not crying but clearly she’s upset and cross). Tried all my best ‘fun mum’ tricks. Even ice lollies! . I tried to explain my understanding of the situation but am worried the parent now thinks DD was mean (which I’m fairly sure she wasn’t). DD says this happens all the time at school and she’s completely stuck as she either has to do everything friend 2 says or gets ostracised by her and called out for being mean. I don’t want DD to be a pushover but equally want her to be able to have meaningful reciprocal friendships.
I’m feeling really awful about it, which I know is a bit melodramatic. I’m not sure how to resolve it or whether I even need to. Kids argue, I know that, but I’m just surprised by the ferocity of friend 2’s anger.
So, AIBU for feeling like this?