Advice on getting along with school mums

[anon116]

I have childhood PTSD so not always able to process or understand social norms. Please bear with me. I really want to get along with these school mums but don’t know how to!

I’ve really tried to become friends with some of the school mums. I have a superficial hi and pleasantary exchange with a lot. There’s one I thought we were getting close: she’s invited me to her house etc. recently she seems really off and I haven’t gone anything as far as I know. I’ve very low maintaince and quite a people pleaser so definitely nothing I think I’ve done.

how can I establish positive relationships with these women I will continue to see every weekday for the next several years?

Throughout the 7 years DS went to primary school I didn't make friends with any of the mums beyond saying hello, there were playdates but we would drop the kids off and leave, I didn't socialise with them. Not in touch with any of them now.

I wouldn't be trying to force a friendship with someone who ignored my nessages for a week. Just be friendly is all you can do. As your children form friendship groups you'll suss out which parents you'll be interacting with the most.

No she texted me the morning if the arranged day. So was I supposed to stay home all day incase she got back to me? Seriously that really weird. So if someone doesn’t respond to your message to meet on x day you stay in all day incase they do contact you!

Thank you for all the fantastic advice I will take that on board but I do not agree with keeping an entire day free on the off chance someone responds to you. I wasn’t going to keep texting her thst just looks desperate and needy. I did genuinely have an appointment I wasn’t being petty, the day I arranged with her was the only day I don’t work. That day is also one she’s told me is her best day as she doesn’t do much on that particular day.

Just make friends away from the school gate.

Tbh, I found this to be true.

No, you would just send a message when the other arrangement arrives to check if she is accepting or not. I always presume good intent and forgetfulness, because usually that's all that is preventing replies. You don't have to, but the less organised mums will find it harder to be friends with you if you don't offer any leeway.

Honestly this woman sounds like one of those immature drama seeking women with nothing else to do. Rise above it, you’ve done nothing wrong, and consider yourself lucky you didn’t get sucked into her craziness too much.