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Original poster

To be too embarrassed to go back to gym classes

32 replies

rookiemere · 25/06/2023 14:25

I'm a member of a cheap, local gym. Joined with the intention of doing weights, but actually find I enjoy their bootcamp type classes and there's a couple a week I can go to. So far all good.

On Friday lunchtime headed to a class. Already a bit stressed as had big work implementation but was determined to get my exercise in. Class was being run by one of the younger instructors who isn't as motivational, but he seems to be getting a bit better.

So the class is set up for 12 people at 4 different stations, so 3 at each and there is 12 of us there. Great, all good. Except half way through class a middle aged man wanders in and rather than instructor telling him class has begun and is full, he proceeds to make room for him on our row.

The next set of exercises involves some weights. The lady beside me decides to give her 20kg barbell to the man and take his 10kg. I had a 15kg which was pretty light for deadlifts but I was fine with.

She then proceeds to ask me to swap with her, saying I'd be happier with a lighter weight as clearly she wanted my 15kg. I should at that point said I'd rather stick with what I had, but it seemed rude and she already had her hands on my barbell, so I kind of froze and didn't do anything. I was trying to spit out "I would rather stick with what I've got thanks " but the instructor then came over and thought I was struggling with the exercise so we had done the swap by that point so I just did the pointless exercise with a much too light weight.

It's meant to be 3 rounds but I was legitimately busy and sneaked out before the last one.

I usually go to a class this morning, but I'm too embarrassed to in case people comment about it. It's quite a friendly gym, but I'm perfectly happy just to come along and do my thing without too much chatting. I feel quite upset about it as I hate drawing attention to myself, but feel the man was at fault for rocking up half way through and the instructor for making space in a full class for him.

Should I just join a new gym to get over the embarrassment of it ?

OP posts:
Original poster
rookiemere · 25/06/2023 14:27

And sorry reading it back it seems like nothing, but it seemed to go on for a while and I know I reacted strangely to the lady wanting to swap.

OP posts:
CorBlimeyGovnr · 25/06/2023 14:28

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but no one will have even noticed this and it’s a total non issue.

Go back and enjoy a class

Fatkittythinkitty · 25/06/2023 14:28

You are way, way over thinking it. Nobody else will have even noticed this completely unremarkable interaction. I'm honestly completely baffled about what you're embarrassed about?

The only reason I'd consider a new gym is if you not being able to get a decent weight and work out in becomes a regular thing.

Innocents4321 · 25/06/2023 14:28

Sounds like a storm in a teacup. Most likely scenario- nobody noticed but even if they did they would think you are confrontation averse and walked out after the instructor spoke to you.

bleepbloopImABot · 25/06/2023 14:31

CorBlimeyGovnr · 25/06/2023 14:28

I mean this in the nicest way possible, but no one will have even noticed this and it’s a total non issue.

Go back and enjoy a class

This.

I have (diagnosed) social anxiety though so I do know what you mean OP. What an annoying situation. And everyone doing their best to accommodate a random man!

”I had to leave early, I had work” would be fine. But they were all rude by the sounds.

Fatkittythinkitty · 25/06/2023 14:31

If it makes you feel better, the first time I tried a body pump class I assumed it was like a circuits class where the instructor had set everything up ready for us. So I walked in and marched up to a ready set up step and weights and put my stuff down. Everyone stared at me and the woman next to me clearly thought I was a deliberately cheeky fucker as she told me that was her friends set up and I needed to go and do my own. I was mortified.

I still went back.

Oysterbabe · 25/06/2023 14:32

I don't understand the problem at all. What exactly are you embarrassed about?

Vegetus · 25/06/2023 14:32

Nobody would have noticed and even if they did I doubt they remembered 5 seconds after leaving the gym anyway.

Beneficialchampion2 · 25/06/2023 14:33

Respectfully no one else gives a flying fuck about you in the gym

Everyone is there to exercise and improve their health.

Go to the gym and try not to be anxious about what others think, reverse the roles. Do you care about anyone else in there?

Original poster
rookiemere · 25/06/2023 14:33

Yeah maybe there is a bit of social anxiety, I seem to have developed it in menopause. I just like to be totally unremarkable when I'm at a class and deliberately avoid the ones where they call out your name or you have to do things in twos.

Maybe I was already a bit stressed because of the work thing.

OP posts:
eeyoredebbie · 25/06/2023 14:33

I fell face first of the step in step aerobics and in a circuits class I didn’t do great with weights! I still went back 😂😂

Original poster
rookiemere · 25/06/2023 14:33

Fatkittythinkitty · 25/06/2023 14:31

If it makes you feel better, the first time I tried a body pump class I assumed it was like a circuits class where the instructor had set everything up ready for us. So I walked in and marched up to a ready set up step and weights and put my stuff down. Everyone stared at me and the woman next to me clearly thought I was a deliberately cheeky fucker as she told me that was her friends set up and I needed to go and do my own. I was mortified.

I still went back.

Brilliant - that makes me feel much better Grin.

OP posts:
Pkhsvd · 25/06/2023 14:34

People won’t have thought anything of it and if anyone says anything you could just say you didn’t feel 100%.
i donot think it was the instructors fault tbh, it was rude of the woman to ask for yours and presume to take them.

Outofthemoonlight · 25/06/2023 14:34

You are massively over thinking this.
Go back to your class and enjoy.

But I'd also suggest that you look at Caroline Girvan on YouTube for some additional weight training. I can guarantee that you will feel infinitely more confident in no time!

2bazookas · 25/06/2023 14:35

The only person at fault was you. Too wet to say no.

Stop blaming the trainer, the newcomer, the woman beside you.

SweetSakura · 25/06/2023 14:35

She behaved badly not you, so if anyone should feel embarrassed it's her!

HundredMilesAnHour · 25/06/2023 14:37

Seriously it's nothing to be embarrassed about. If you like the classes, go back and enjoy - and stop worrying! If something like this happens again, just say "no, that's too light for me" and end of discussion.

That woman shouldn't have offered up the 20kg to the latecomer and she certainly shouldn't have then taken your 15kg. If anyone tried that in my gym, it would get very nasty very quickly.

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 25/06/2023 14:37

I once passed out in a class, I can you've bouts of low blood pressure, I hadn't exercised in a while and it was hot 🥵

Still went back next week. You'll be fine Wink

SweetSakura · 25/06/2023 14:38

Fatkittythinkitty · 25/06/2023 14:31

If it makes you feel better, the first time I tried a body pump class I assumed it was like a circuits class where the instructor had set everything up ready for us. So I walked in and marched up to a ready set up step and weights and put my stuff down. Everyone stared at me and the woman next to me clearly thought I was a deliberately cheeky fucker as she told me that was her friends set up and I needed to go and do my own. I was mortified.

I still went back.

Yes I did something similar the first time I went to a different Pilates class. I assumed the instructor had laid out all the mats in advance and I was taking the last one...no, someone.had nipped to the loo, and I only realised what I had done when she came back and made a big huffy show of getting out another mat Blush

SideWonder · 25/06/2023 14:39

Honestly, no-one will have noticed. And next time, if the instructor comes along, ask him for some MORE weight!

BostonTime · 25/06/2023 14:39

Just go - you're putting excuses and barriers to quit. Stop thinking about it, it's not a big deal, it's fish and chips paper!

Original poster
rookiemere · 25/06/2023 14:40

SideWonder · 25/06/2023 14:39

Honestly, no-one will have noticed. And next time, if the instructor comes along, ask him for some MORE weight!

Yes that's what I should have done with the benefit of hindsight.

OP posts:
PetitPorpoise · 25/06/2023 14:43

If i were at that class with you, I would have

A) noticed the man joining in and been disappointed with the instructor for not getting rid of him

B) probably not noticed you leaving earlier, but if i did I would have assumed you needed to be somewhere.

I wouldn't dream of mentioning it to you.

AnObserverInThisDarkWorld · 25/06/2023 14:46

Middle aged bloke could have felt embarrassed turning up late
Middle aged bloke could be owner of the gym and that's why the trainer fitted him in because he was observing.

Regardless of that anyway, no-one will remember what happened and moving gym is a massive over reaction.

continentallentil · 25/06/2023 14:51

Literally nothing happened?

Just take it as a lesson to be more assertive next time, if that’s the bit that’s bothering you.