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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

How do you go to the park alone with two small kids

37 replies

greydoggie · 25/06/2023 07:17

My 14 month old is now actually running and very inquisitive. My 3 and a half year old listens a little bit, but I don't trust her entirely to not run off.

How do I go to the playground / park with both of them by myself ? Obviously I would take the buggy for the little one, but he also wants to play and get out. So at some point, both will be out and there's just one of me.

I'm really worried about losing them or someone taking them. It really stresses me out.

Any advice ?

OP posts:

birdling · 25/06/2023 07:20

Go to playground with a fence and proper shutting gates.

BibbleandSqwauk · 25/06/2023 07:21

Go to a park that has a gated play area with toddler friendly equipment only. Let the three year old have some distance from you, you don't need to hover next to them and they can both enjoy themselves. The likelihood of someone "taking them" is extremely low and not something that would even cross my mind.

birdling · 25/06/2023 07:21

And be strict with the 3 year old if she doesn't do as she's told. It gets easier, don't worry.

yogasaurus · 25/06/2023 07:22

If it’s a fenced off area, you shouldn’t need to follow the 3.5 year old around, just keep them in sight.

SlippySarah · 25/06/2023 07:24

Choose a park with a play area that is surrounded by a fence so that if a kid bolts they won't get far. Take distractions and bribes (snacks/favourite toys) to help manage any drama and help persuade the little one back in the pushchair if needed. Maybe choose a quiet time if day for your first few trips such as early morning, so you can keep your eyes on them both easier. Realistically no one is going to take one of them. Child abduction is very very rare - try not to worry about things that almost guaranteed not to happen. They're probably more likely to be struck by lightning than snatched from a play park.

Mindymomo · 25/06/2023 07:26

The smaller gated playgrounds are better for keeping an eye on children. Have a talk with your eldest telling her she’s not to go on beyond a certain point.

Gettingfleeced · 25/06/2023 07:26

A playground with a fence around it. If not, tell the 3yo "you can go anywhere between that tree and that bench"

3yo will probably stay close as she will probably want your attention/help anyway.

Failing that, take chocolate buttons and wave the packet at 3yo if she goes too far!

Gettingfleeced · 25/06/2023 07:28

Also, if you are very worried, maybe arrange to go with another parent and then at least they can hold your baby if you do need to chase after 3yo.

Raggeo · 25/06/2023 07:38

Agree with PPs. You need a play park that is enclosed and with equipment for toddlers. I have a 20mo and 3yo. The nearest park to us is fenced but everything is designed for older kids so I spend the whole time having to help them both and of course they want to be doing different things at different sides of park! Its exhausting and stressful, and I hate it. I recently found a park a 10min drive away that has a seperate toddler play area that is enclosed and it's so much better. My 3yo can play independently and my 1yo needs constant watching but doesn't need as much help with everything. Now I really enjoy taking them.

lifesnotaspectatorsport · 25/06/2023 07:40

I think at that age your 3.5 yo should be able to keep within an area you define, be it an enclosed playground or area of grass etc. "Stay where I can see you" is often what I say to my twins who are the same age. If we are walking somewhere, then they have to stay close and stop at any road or crossing.

You should really be able to focus most of your attention on the little one, and encourage the independence (within given boundaries) of the older one.

IamnotSethRogan · 25/06/2023 07:41

Are there any parks that are fenced in? My DC are older so not so much a worry now but when they were younger, I'd opt for parks that just had the one entrance via a gate, so if I was playing with one, as long as I kept an eye on the entrance I didn't have to worry too much

Sceptre86 · 25/06/2023 07:41

At that age we used our garden a lot but appreciate not everyone has one. Otherwise a fenced playground on our estate was a go to. I used to go at 10am (less busy) and even if the kids ran in opposite directions, they were in a safe , enclosed space.

Diddykong · 25/06/2023 07:42

Gettingfleeced · 25/06/2023 07:26

A playground with a fence around it. If not, tell the 3yo "you can go anywhere between that tree and that bench"

3yo will probably stay close as she will probably want your attention/help anyway.

Failing that, take chocolate buttons and wave the packet at 3yo if she goes too far!

I used to think this with dc1. Dc2 is like Forrest Gump. He will just run and not look back.

Tandora · 25/06/2023 07:45

You are overthinking it, people manage all the time. Rip the bandaid off and do it and you’ll realise it’s not as bad as you think. How have you been managing the last 14 months?

Original poster

greydoggie · 25/06/2023 07:50

Tandora · 25/06/2023 07:45

You are overthinking it, people manage all the time. Rip the bandaid off and do it and you’ll realise it’s not as bad as you think. How have you been managing the last 14 months?

Eh, before the younger one could run, it wasn't an issue really. It's been an issue for a couple of months and I usually try to take anyone who'll come, with me. But this is limiting.

I also have a big garden with swings/ trampoline / slide / sand pit. However, I think it's also important for them to get out somewhere different.

OP posts:

Mommasgotabrandnewbag · 25/06/2023 07:53

It's easy, you get them ready and go to the park. Ideally one with a fence.

I never put much thought into it really. Your overthinking it op

itsgettingweird · 25/06/2023 07:56

Another saying go to one with a fence and one that isn't so huge so can't see 3yo.

Then have strict boundaries.

Give 3yo a limit of where they can go. If they cannot as the big girl/boy be trusted they'll have to sit in the babies pushchair whilst you watch baby and then they can play when baby is tried and sat in pushchair and you can watch.

You shouldn't need to do that though as 3yo should be able to follow simple instructions

Boxthemup · 25/06/2023 07:59

The 3yo needs to know the boundaries of where she can go. Easier if there's a fence.

I went to the park daily with my two who are exactly 2 years apart. I don't remember it ever being a problem.

SittinOnTheDock · 25/06/2023 08:04

3.5 is definitely old enough to be independent and not run off. Many people will take out two or more 14 month olds or similar if they have twins or triplets so it's more than doable. Some will be doing that with a 3.5 year old as well!

You just need to keep risk assessing, and checking in on both with your focus on the younger one. The most dangerous things are swings so just make sure they don't go near that bit without you.

If your older one does do a runner, just scoop up the younger one and run holding him.

SittinOnTheDock · 25/06/2023 08:05

Definitely try a fenced one, surrounded by a bigger park, to get your confidence up though.

Lindy2 · 25/06/2023 08:11

As others have said. You choose a smaller playground with a fence and gate. Preferably one where you can see the whole of the area so no bushes or trees blocking your visibility.

You 1 to 1 supervise the 14 month old while watching the 3 year old. If the 3 year old needs help you pop the 14 month old back into the buggy for a while.

When you have another adult with you, you can visit the bigger playgrounds.

It does get easier as they get older.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/06/2023 08:14

You could to a fenced in park and walk the perimeter telling your dd that she’s must stop at the fence, she has to stay your side of the gate etc.

Tandora · 25/06/2023 08:17

greydoggie · 25/06/2023 07:50

Eh, before the younger one could run, it wasn't an issue really. It's been an issue for a couple of months and I usually try to take anyone who'll come, with me. But this is limiting.

I also have a big garden with swings/ trampoline / slide / sand pit. However, I think it's also important for them to get out somewhere different.

Show quote history

You can do this on your own 💪🏻. Honestly is not as bad as you think. Def important that you get used to taking the two of them out yourself. Sometimes it feels like you need eyes at the back of your head lol, but you do get expert at knowing where they both are at all times. Go to a smaller playground if you can that’s enclosed to start with.

GoodChat · 25/06/2023 08:20

Definitely a fenced play area - and one that's not very big while you're gaining your confidence

Draconis · 25/06/2023 08:21

Give your 3.5 yr old strict instructions before you even go and remind them when you arrive.
Tell them if they don't listen to you then you're all going home straight away.
Take plenty of drinks and snacks/food.

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