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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I should have been consulted

11 replies

inthedarkx · 24/06/2023 21:33

So just a bit of back ground, my ex cheated and left me for another woman !
Now he loves with her, sees out kids 6-7 hours a week sometimes only 3 hours a week. Kids live with me full time. No overnights with him
He was abusive to me in EVERY aspect

So our oldest daughter turns 17 on Sunday,
when she had had her school prom, he took over, did her hair, took her prom dress shopping with his wife (the woman he left me for) and he told her prom got to take all her pictures and they didn't let me have any say at all !!

Now our second daughter turned 16 and left school now, due her prom in July. He's doing the same again, telling her he needs to take her prom dress shopping!!! Even though my daughter wants me to go, I feel like he's robbing me of these special moments. If my daughter tells him she wants to do it with me he uses the fact he's for a car and money so he's better at that whereas I don't have a car and have limited funds. But I can still get her a nice dress!!

Now I'll miss out on my second daughters prom whilst his wife walks in and gets to take over !!!!!!

Am I being unreasonable to be upset?

Our son is 7 but when he has his prom I wouldn't stop him taking him for his first suit!!

It's now about him taking her, it's about him not even involving me or allowing my Daughters to 'want' me there

She's wants me there

It's his way or no way!!

OP posts:
Tinkerbyebye · 24/06/2023 21:41

If she wants you to go, then just go and get her a dress, and do her hair etc and take her to the prom and do the pictures

she gets ready from your house etc

but why didn’t you just turn up and take pictures at your other daughters prom. That’s what I would have done

Sapphire387 · 24/06/2023 21:45

Well, it's not up to him, is it? It's up to your daughter.

AndTheSurveySays · 24/06/2023 22:12

Now I'll miss out on my second daughters prom whilst his wife walks in and gets to take over !!!!!!

Only if you choose to allow him to take over. You are a grown up and need to stand up for yourself and your daughter.

Strawberryboost · 03/09/2023 17:42

*So our oldest daughter turns 17 on Sunday, ^
when she had had her school prom, he took over, did her hair, took her prom dress shopping with his wife (the woman he left me for) and he told her prom got to take all her pictures and they didn't let me have any say at all !!

oh come on op

NewName122 · 03/09/2023 17:46

Yes yabu. Surely its up to your daughter. If he only sees her for 3-7 hours a week how's he got so much to do with this.

Cherrysoup · 03/09/2023 17:47

Then take her and tell idiot ex that it’s already done.

CaroleSinger · 03/09/2023 17:48

When did we allow this commercialised American prom thing to become so rampant in the UK? What happened to school discos?

Smartiepants79 · 03/09/2023 17:50

Why are you all allowing him to do this?
You and both of you Dds are capable of saying- no thanks, we’ve already sorted it??!!
She wants you to take her, you want to take so just do it!
He is, of course being a complete twat and his wife needs to stay out of it. BUT you’ve let him!

DinnaeFashYersel · 03/09/2023 17:51

CaroleSinger · 03/09/2023 17:48

When did we allow this commercialised American prom thing to become so rampant in the UK? What happened to school discos?

I had a school prom in the early 90s so they've been around a while.

OP you have several months to figure this out. When is he planning on buying the dress?

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 03/09/2023 17:53

Op won't be back.... this is from JUNE

DinnaeFashYersel · 03/09/2023 17:54

OnAMidnightTrainToGeorgia · 03/09/2023 17:53

Op won't be back.... this is from JUNE

Drat.

Oh well. Maybe she could update and let us know how it went.

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