Partner doesn’t want another baby

[Upsetanduncertain]

I’m 8 weeks pregnant, this would be my second child and I’m so excited. Partner (and father of DC1) is less excited, although he knows I was keen and did nothing to prevent it happening. In conversation today the word ‘operation’ came up, and his side comment was “I should have had an operation to stop that happening” pointing at my tummy. We’ve known for two weeks now, and I don’t think he’s mentioned it once, apart from today. I know what you’re all going to say, I just wanted to tell someone, I’m hurting.

Posting in support. I can only imagine your heartache did you want DC2? If he really didn’t want a 2nd then he should have been taking precautions maybe it’s just a surprise to him? How old is DC1?

Good god that is a horrible thing to say. Is he usually this unpleasant?

Well yes absolutely, he should have taken care of contraception if he didn't want another baby. But he didn't and you're pregnant so it's tough. I'm sorry he's being a dick 💐

I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to say. 💐Congratulations on your pregnancy

Thank you. I’m hoping it’s just the surprise. We’d practically given up on having number 2, but I’d always hoped.

Men are so different to us, tell him how you feel. Hopefully he’s just a bit in shock when you go for a scan ect it becomes more “real” for men

A horrible thing to say, but he may be still coming to terms with it. Is he a good dad to DC1? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how he’s made you feel?

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

It’s not been the best day!

I haven’t spoken to him yet. We’d just finished tea, there was bedtime to do, now it’s Saturday evening and he’s doing his thing and I’m left stewing. He is an ok Dad, he takes DC1 out to do stuff when I’m busy, but doesn’t get involved with school or clubs. That’s more to do with his own anxiety than not being interested.

Well, yeah, he should have had an operation (or worn a condom) if he wanted to stop "that" from happening.

He doesn't sound like a great dad or partner to be honest.

Assuming partner means you're not married, don't give up work.

Like others have said he should have taken precaution if he didn't want another child. You have decided to have a second child with someone who in your words is 'an OK father'. Neither of you have shown great decision making skills.

What an a-hole. So sorry OP. I’m sure it’s just a stupid, thoughtless thing he said, and he will come around. Doesn’t excuse it though. No wonder you feel awful. Sending hugs 🤗 xx

I'd tell him you agree with the operation - he should book himself in to have the snip! You wouldn't want to end up with baby #3 after all...

Congratulations!

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

What your DH said was horrible. What operation?? Does he mean sterilisation? No: he should’ve had the snip if he didn’t want anymore, or worn condoms.

What he said to you was horrible. The only thing I would say is if you want the baby and he doesn’t, then think about whether you want to stay with him. If you decide to terminate to save your marriage, but deep down you want the baby, you might really regret it down the line.

Hi I know this was a while ago now but can I ask what was the outcome of your situation? I am in the exact same one now :(