To tell DS to stay out of my bathroom

[fruitstick]

DS is 14.

We have an en suite bathroom. He has the family bathroom all to himself.

Our bathroom is nicer and the shower is better. I'd love to be able to redo his bathroom too but we just don't have the funds.

He's always in my bloody bathroom.

I go to have a shower and he's already in there, and stays there for ages. If I'm trying to get dressed he'll walk through the bedroom to use the mirror etc.

If I say anything he just says 'well you should have said!'

I shouldn't have to say! It's my bathroom and my bedroom!

Rant over. Thank you.

Um - tell him he's not allowed to use it. Why does this need a thread?

I can see both sides of this: if the bathroom he’s been allocated has a crappy shower and mirror, I can see why he’d prefer to use the better bathroom. But, yes, you’re entitled to your privacy.

You need to come up with a compromise e.g. when my bedroom door is shut, you can’t come through to use the en-suite, plus do not use the shower at these specified times.

A small bolt on the inside of your bedroom door should solve the problem if he’s not listening to you.

YANBU, unless his shower is absolutely awful? If it's fine but he just prefers yours, then just tell him no.

Could you get a mirror for the main bathroom, or his bedroom?

Weekdays are fine. He uses his bathroom. It's just weekends and sometimes evenings when I go to use the shower and he's already in there.

What's the shower in his bathroom like?

Can you not agree he will ask before he uses it?

Do you then use the family bathroom?
If you don't because you find the shower too slow or frustrating then maybe he has a point. He does need to ask first though.

How bad is the family bathroom?

Lock on the bedroom door- with a key not a bolt!

Maybe she doesn't because he's in the shower where her toiletries are.

That's a different reason for not using it and not what I asked.
Of course, the OP could come back with a third option, which is "I've no idea what the shower's like; I've never used it because I have no toiletries in there."
We'll just have to wait and see....... 😉

I don't use his bathroom because
a) his toiletries are in there not mine
b) there's rarely any clean towels as they're all on his floor
c) it's a shower over a bath rather than walk in
d) he's usually left an array of bowls and plates around the place.

The shower is OK but not as good as ours.

I wouldn't want to be stuck using a rubbish shower when there was a better one sitting there unused two rooms away.

Just get him to ask first.

So it sounds like he's maybe using yours because it's cleaner, it has nice dry towels that haven't been dumped on the floor, and it doesn't have plates in it (why is he taking plates into the bathroom???). In which case I'd say no, he doesn't get to make his bathroom a dump and then use yours because it's more pleasant.

What do you mean 'not as good as ours'?

He's 14, why can you not just tell him not to use it? By that age he shouldn't be walking into your bedroom whilst you are changing. Enforce some boundaries as you are the parent. Most kids don't have a bathroom to themselves at his age. As for the towels on the floor and plates in the bathroom he's at an age where he should be able to pick up after himself.

One does wonder how those of us with one bathroom in our homes survive sharing bathrooms with our children.

It must be very annoying, but I am sure there are a few of us thinking "I wish I had the problem of a teenage son always in the shower" as opposed to "how do I get the smelly urchin into it" 😁