Used to have a great sex drive but had cancer two years ago & had a chemically induced menopause - bam, overnight no more periods. I’m 52 & now on HRT (my cancer didn’t prevent this) & great, no more brain fog, night sweats etc. But there’s still nothing going on down there, or in my brain. It’s like everything has shut up shop. And the husband is seriously suffering - like questioning our future together. He’s always had a high sex drive & is really missing it. Indeed as I write this he’s sleeping in the spare room cos we tried last night & nothing happened. I just don’t get horny with him anymore. And here’s the thing: I don’t know if it’s the menopause or me, post cancer. Since my recovery I’ve become more itchy to crack on & do stuff - be more, go places, embrace change etc whereas he is an introvert & fairly antisocial. We’ve always done our own thing, he rarely comes out with me, I’m almost a singleton on that front but I fear we’ve drifted apart. We have been married nearly 20 years & talked endlessly about embracing our differences, that we don’t need to be joined at the hip. Oh, I should add I used to be a bit overweight - not obese but overweight (never lost the baby fat) & that was a huge deal for him. But I lost 3 stone during my cancer treatment (I had to have a feeding tube) & now I look amazing, so friends tell me… But I just can’t see a way through this, apart from him watching porn. I guess my AIBU is - should I be making more effort in the sack, somehow, or should he accept things have changed. PS I have sought counselling as I think I have some shit to unpack here!