Ok so I lost my dmum almost four years ago now and it really hit everyone hard. Since then my ddad has remained in the family home and despite a few health niggles has managed ok with family input. I have my own family at home but as I live in very close proximity I visit every day and sleep over twice a week to provide company. A family member takes him for his food shop and another does the garden etc. I've up to 80 units a week and this now seems to be affecting his memory and general mood. He was a very occasional drinker when my dmum was alive and so I can only put this down to him coping without her and he says that he is still grieving. He won't see a doctor...he's almost 84 and has said he won't cut down and doesn't think he has a problem. When I've suggested for him to consider maybe looking into a residential home where he would have a community and daily activities to help with his loneliness I'm told he's absolutely not interested. What he would like is for me to stay over more nights a week. I simply can't do that as I work shifts and as mentioned above, I have my own family who I'd like to spend some time with. I've already given up on so many of my hobbies and rarely see friends anymore as I'm just exhausted. I'm just at a loss of what to do anymore and would welcome advice from anyone who may have been through something similar.