To have asked dh to take this weekend off?

[thelinecrossed]

Because I’m struggling with my MH and physical health?

He’s scheduled to work shifts both Saturday and Sunday (7-1 Saturday and 9-3 Sunday but travel time is 1 hour each way).

Im struggling with depression and anxiety. I also have what I think is covid complete with a bad stomach. We have 2 dc (both SEN) and I haven’t slept more than 6 hrs the last 3 nights combined. I need him to call in tonight to say he can’t make it and he’s saying it’s too short notice. This hasn’t happened before and I don’t have any other support at all absolutely nobody.

I don't think you're BU to ask OP, however, your DH is right, it is short notice, but to some extent I guess that depends on what type of job it is?

It depends on how much you rely on his income and how often this has happened before.

As a one off I would ask for him to call in for one of the days, but not both.

If this isn’t the first time then YABU if you expect an employer to be OK with this.

Hospitality

I haven’t had to ask him before. This is the first time . I’m exhausted, unwell, I need time to myself to recover and with the dc I can’t get that time that I need

I'm sorry you're not feeling good but you're expecting him to give less than 12 hours notice to find a replacement (and at a weekend!) or manage without him. That's very unreasonable and I can't imagine this will go down well with his employer. Would this jeopardise his job?

In which case I’d ask him to take Sunday off - it’s the worse of the two shifts. He’ll be home by 2pm tomorrow and in theory you’ll have from 2pm until 8am Sunday to rest. That’s a decent chunk.

I doubt it as he never takes time off he hasn’t had any time off except booked holiday in 3 years

I think he needs to go in but cant see why he cant take on 100% of the childcare outside those times so you can rest fully.

No, of course it isn't unreasonable. He needs to take dependents/unpaid parental leave, he has no childcare, his wife is too unwell. It's short notice because you didn't plan to be unwell. He would be very unreasonable to leave you in this state.

I would ask him to say he's not well.

He can't just call in this late in the day.

Get the kids fed and out in the garden for a few hours.

we live in a flat so don’t have a garden and getting them to the park nearby is impossible on my own as they both need 1-1

I'm so sorry your struggling OP.

I worked in hospitality and over a weekend he will probably get some shit for not coming in. I used to. But in the end I left cos I couldn't live like that.

His wife is ill and he needs to care for his kids. His workplace can suck it up. If it were a woman calling in cos of childcare I doubt it'd even be questioned.

Feel better soon xxxxxxx

He has called in sick I’m so relieved