Management Aibu?

[honeycookies]

I’m going to be a first time manager at 26 - any advice on how to approach this and how to moderate my expectations? I don’t think much training will exist. It’s a civil service role.

I’ve always been a high performer that tends to do more than others, aibu to expect the people I manage to perform as well as I do/did? How would I know what’s an unreasonable ask or not? As ultimately some aspects may be out of my control and unpopular decisions may have to go ahead.

as a manager, what’s your thought process when deciding whether to raise something or let it slide? Eg someone logging on a few minutes late, would you mention it or ignore?

how do you bridge the gap between being kind and being respected? I don’t want to be mean to anyone - I want to be supportive without taken advantage of and not sure how to create a good boundary.

Following with interest, I'm a manager of a team who are all older and have more life/experience of the job than me!

Yes the same will be the case with my new team! 😊

Spend time listening and building a relationship of trust and respect with your colleagues/subordinates. Remember, If they look good, you look good. Don’t judge everyone by your own standards- they may have a different skill set and experience to you and often that is ok and sometimes desirable in a team.

realise that as a manager you are managing but you are also being managed so you will feel pressure and tension from both directions. you need to learn how to manage up as well as down within your organisation. Your job will now be less about your own personal achievements and more about how you manage others to do a good job.

congratulations on your promotion. You will learn a lot in the next few years and it sounds like you will be great as you are already reflecting on your own approach. My key leadership advise is “don’t be a dick” and “keep your powder dry” (meaning don’t let others see your frustrations/anger when things don’t go your way., remain professional at all times)

Good luck!

I think one of the best tips I ever received, was never ask your staff to do something you wouldn't do yourself. With older people I found that you need to show respect for their life experience, and if they need to learn something new, then don't make them look, or feel foolish in front of younger staff, and be patient, as it does take a bit longer to take things on board as you get older. With regard to people taking advantage, ie, logging on late, etc. I would let them know that you've noticed, and ask if there is a problem. If they come up with some lame excuse, then tell them you will be monitoring them, as it isn't acceptable, and make sure you do it, with appropriate warnings, if necessary. The best job I ever had, was one where it was give and take. I don't know what your particular role is, but if for example work was slow, during the summer months, once we'd done all that needed to be done that day, our boss would allow one of us out of 4 to go home early, we took it in turns. Then in the winter, when things got busy again, no one objected if we were asked to stay on a bit. So treat your staff fairly, is absolutely THE most important thing as far as I was concerned, but take no nonsense. Good luck in your new role OP.

Thank you for all the advice so far - I’m taking notes. One thing I’m struggling with is that in my current office there are no good managers who I can role model. It seems like being a HR nightmare is what gets results, managers regularly swear at staff for example and it’s brushed under the carpet. So whilst I understand what it takes to not be an obviously horrible manager, I don’t have a great distinction between “average manager” vs “good manager”

You really need training. You sound absolutely clueless and are likely to be in for a rough time if you don't put yourself in the way of some learning.

Read a couple of management books. Book yourself on whatever new managers courses you can find (don't have to be Civil Service and honestly it will be worth putting a small amount of your own money into this).

Book-wise I recommend How To Win Friends And Influence People. An old one but full of excellent advice.

Notice what others do. What works for them may not work for you, but try out a few things that you admire and see how they go. Ask your manager for pointers; even if they aren't the world's most amazing manager - and most people aren't - they will still have something to offer.

Oh, and yes: you're very likely to be unreasonable if you expect everyone to be as excellent as you are at the job you've just been promoted from.

The best things I've learnt are treat each person as an individual. People have different needs and motivations and they need different management approaches. Understanding motivations is key to getting people on side. Be compassionate. Personally I let the small stuff slide. As long as people perform I don't care if they're a bit late or whatever. I don't enforce rules unless there is an issue with performance or attitude generally. You probably will have challenging staff at some point in your career, but if you can all pull in the same direction as a team I think that's worth a lot, and justifies being pretty relaxed about policies.

First few week you will gain more from listening than talking.

Learn from the team, what are they being asked to do, what do they like, what do they dislike, what processes work, what processes don't work, are there any friction points with other teams, what is important to them, what would they like to do more of, who has the capability/will to progress....

Then build out a plan based on that information. The structure I've always used is 'Fix, Focus, Grow'.

Fix - what are your quick wins, the things that can be changed easily and quickly to bring benefit to your team and the business within the first 3 months

Focus - what are the medium term goals, these will require a little more thought, engagement from other teams but could be implemented within around 6 months

Grow - what are the bigger challenges, the ones that may need budget, approval, tech changes and so would likely be about a year in the planning.

Succession planning - you should always to aware of who in your team has the desire and the capability to develop and progress, it may not be that they could or want to be in a leadership role but they may be perfect for a different sideways role or a different upwards move into a more specialist field. This benefits you because at some point you may want to progress and having a second in command makes that easier. It also means that you are keeping your team members engaged and interested. Delegate to them (if you are unsure how to delegate look it up, there are loads of free courses online), give them opportunities to shadow you or other colleagues, consider mentor/buddy schemes, provide opportunities to gain experience that they can use in interview examples or to decide if they really like doing the role.

Praise and celebrate achievements - it can be easy to become hyper focused on negative behaviours but you need to make sure you are giving immediate praise and positive feedback when you see things being down well too.

Manage poor behaviour and underperformance - set objectives related to key activities, job descriptions, behaviour and personal development goals. Make them SMART, review them regularly and if underperforming address it immediately. Initially it should be as feedback, if the feedback doesn't produce improvement follow the formal improvement process. Be consistent and fair.

There are also loads of good books out there. There's a series of "pocketbooks" which are short and deal with conflict management, management styles etc. They're a good place to start Management Models Pocketbook https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1906610037?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

Yes, definitely don’t expect those you are managing to be able to work at the same pace as you, that will never work. Get to know your employees, learn their strengths and weaknesses and work with that.

Be positive, try not to focus on the negative. Do recognize their achievements. Obviously you have to manage the negatives but recognizing the positives helps that.

Do be willing to work and part of the team and support them as needed. That’s my style of management anyway. I’m always willing to do what any member of my team does if needed and it regularly is needed. I learn a lot from doing that, see what is really happening and the team appreciate it.

It is hard being promoted from within the team as the dynamics change and it can be a steep learning curve.

There is no 'gap' between being kind and being respected. Quite the opposite. You can be firm and kind. Try the book Radical Candour.

I have been in your position.

1. start as you mean to go on. If you have high standards stick to them. If you are supportive and be clear you want them to excel and that mistakes are ok as long as you know asap. You support them through rectifying any issues.

2. My ExH very helpfully told me, when I was manning about a very junior colleague to manage my expectations, so that they meet the role salary rather how I would do the job.

Good luck. Eventually my experience led to a great career, salary and life.

Being good at your job doesn’t mean you’ll be a good manager it’s a different ball game all together
fairness ,respect and common sense go a long way
people skills are key

Don't micro manage every single aspect of their work - it's shit having every single thing including your email
signature criticised - mine was I put 'and' and not '&' - I've since changed it back to 'and' - a little win

sorry to add - I’m moving over to a new team, not managing my previous team. Also the team I manage is a newly formed area - everyone will be new to the team and there isn’t a set precedent. Also I’ll be managing them remotely, don’t work in same office!

and be patient, as it does take a bit longer to take things on board as you get older.

you consider yourself a decent manager and you come out with utter shite like that?! Give your head a wobble, love.

Remember to listen , rather than hear.
Work out if what was said to you needs sympathy and kindness/ leniency or resolution.
Realise that what is happening to your member of staff is maybe huge in their life, try to respect that when you deal with it, even if it makes eg:rotas a headache.

Respect works both ways.

Be kind and sympathetic but stick to the rules and protocols of your business that way you won’t get stung.
Came into management straight out of uni with no clue. Nigh on 30 years later I love what I do , but there will always be challenges…that’s why you do it!

making sure you are transparent and fair will build their trust in you.

Do some research on high quality conversations so you can up your knowledge adapting your style.

Demonstrate and role model the Civil Service Code and your departmental values.

Look at the main HR policies you will need to apply from time to time - attendance management, performance management, annual leave, flexi time and WLB, Workplace Adjustment Passport.

Make the time and diarise their one to ones with you.

Reward and recognise good performance.

Oh, and congrats on your new role!

I returned to the workforce at 58 and I loved my young manager. She was extremely professional and thoughtful about how she approached her job. She was the intermediary between us service people (clinicians/therapists) and managers higher up in the agency. She was in training to be a clinician herself but she respected her troops and we felt she tried to protect us from upper management’s crazy demands. The thing that made her great at her job was, as it turns out, early training as the maitre d’ at a busy restaurant. She was unflappable and able to quickly size up a crisis situation and triage things in terms of work assignments. I did not regard her as my superior—and in education or therapeutic skill she wasn’t. But I respected her professionalism and her respect for the work we were doing. (Therapy, medication, snd care for psychotic and homeless mentally ill people.)

When managing other people I saw my job as being to ensure that they were working to the best of their ability. That doesn’t mean worrying what time they get into the office, but finding out if there is some underlying problem. I also made a point of pushing people to address their own weaknesses eg tendency to be too timid to take on slightly different pieces of work or to react badly to external criticism without considering if it’s valid. It’s different for each person.

The main thing I’ve always tried to stick to is:

1. Are they doing the job they need to do (and it’s clear what that job is?)
2. Are they doing the job in a way that works for the company (e.g. not pissing people off)

if both of those are true I don’t worry about hours/logging on and let people manage their own time/ways of working. Remember we’re all grown ups here…

Logging on late. Do they have to take a phone line? Or any particular task at their start time? If yes then it is something you need to pick up on, whereas if they have no immediate responsibility after logging on then let it slide.

However if they are taking the piss and starting 5 minutes late most days but then clocking off on the dot then you need to gently correct their timekeeping. Otherwise everybody will be at it.

What is unreasonable and what is not? You should only ask them to do tasks that are in their job description and that you would be willing to do yourself. If they do not want to go above and beyond then that is fine so long as they are doing the baseline job required of them.

In no particular order except for the first and last one.

• Set expectations and support them to meet them
• Don’t be afraid of the tough conversations
• Don’t be afraid of letting the team find ways to do things. It may not be the way you’d do it but if it gets the same results let crack on
• Explain decisions to give context, but don’t do it for justification
• Don’t be surprised when your day goes to hell because of an employee issue.
• Maintain appropriate boundaries, you’re not their friend or coworker you are their boss.
• Listen to them. They’ll have good ideas
• Don’t be afraid to admit something isn’t working… ‘Whelp, we gave that idea a go but we need to rethink. What can we learn from the experience’
• You are going to make mistakes.. dust yourself off and learn from it
• Have fun.. managing is great fun and a good challenge, learn to enjoy the craziness it can be!