will life get better as a lone parent and if so when?

[atalossnow]

DS is 14 months. I speak to his dad but only regarding finances, he has no involvement in DS’s life. I’m doing ok but just feel the future is incredibly bleak for me personally. I know that’s selfish and I am of course grateful I have DS. I’ve always wanted a marriage and that fees impossible now, as does having more dc (I’m 37). My career has obviously stalled with ds and so that’s slowed. Ex won’t even have ds for a day so I have no free time unless it’s childcare. I feel alone despite having friends, I come back to an empty house adult wise and can’t see how that will change. Family can’t babysit due to health reasons. I’m not depressed, just wonder if it will ever be better? I can’t imagine it really.

It will get better. Singles parents are HEROES and don't let anyone make you think otherwise. At 14 months your child still can't communicate their needs easily, still needs and want you all the time and that's a lot to do alone.

It's also immensely hard to trust other people to look after a child that age as the child can't tell you if something bad happened.

Support for the cost of childcare will come soon for you so you'll have more time to yourself once he's 2 (I think?? I can barely keep up with the rules, think it's 15 hours free but maybes has just gone up for 2yo).

Before then, sign up for something like Twinkl or similar and make use of the resources you can download from there. You can plan an activity or two for every week using loo roll, paint, glitter etc a lot of which you can make at home for cheap. it will help to structure you time and I always found the tips about what motor or language skill it was helping really uaeias then I was looking more carefully for it in our child and giving us a pat on the back as it developed and thinking 'i taught/did that!'

Good luck x

Oh it will get better.

Im sure single parenting is really tough, especially when your little one is so young, but hang in.

I know loads of people who found their life partner even though they were a single parent.

I have a 14 month old and understand the relentless of it all. They are changing and we love them but it is a hard time as they are so dependent.

I have a useless DP and I do 90% of her care however, I recognise I need that 10% off time for my mental health so to me you are SUPERWOMAN OP. You really are

You are there for your child when its father failed his child. Can you get an au pair or a babysitter in for a few hours on the weekend to give you a break?

Yes it will get better, you're at the hardest bit right now. Do whatever you can to get adult company. Be honest with people and say you're lonely. One of your kids-free friends may be glad to join in an outing somewhere. Invite your friends over for girls nights in. Enlist them as babysitters and make sure you get some me time.
You really are being superwoman, especially with such a tool of an exe. Well done!!

Yes definitely gets better. And no reason why you shouldn’t meet a nicer partner when you’ve got a bit more brainspace. 14 month olds are lovely but really really hard work, that gets a lot easier.

From one single parent of now much older ones, it gets miles better with time.

For one, you will never have to argue about how you raise your child if the father isn't involved. For another, you get some time to yourself as they get older, if only when they're sleeping, but those hours without then having to also look after the needs of a partner are bliss.

The pride you will develop, the skills and strengths, having to do it all yourself, are worth the short-term pain of going through some of the harder years.

I knew before I read this that your baby would be young

I felt the same when mine were small. It is hard when their young. I've been single since mine were 2.6 and 8 months, it was so hard and so lonely at the begining

Their nearly 9 and 7 now and it is so much easier. Right now I'm in the bathroom whilst they make their own breakfast,

It will change when baby goes to nursery, hang in there. I promise it really does get better