I’ve really messed up party re: numbers!

[anon441]

I’m having my sons party tomorrow and I’ve really messed up. I invited whole class but only 17 are attending which is good as it was expensive per child! I stupidly invited my sons old school friends as I thought I’ll get numbers up to 20. The place told me it’s £19.95 per kid and £4 per sibling. The sibling will be also involved in the activity.

the 3 old school friends I’ve told can bring their younger sibling (3 of them, 1 younger sibling each) I thought it’s no issue as will only cost me £12. Just rang up the venue to confirm numbers and she told me they won’t be included in the party! So won’t be sitting or having food in party room unless I pay £19.95 each so nearly £60 extra. I’m really annoyed with myself I didn’t realise this before.

However I’m thinking other parties I’ve hosted and been too the younger siblings could easily just have a plate as it’s a Buffett and sit with the mums? How feasible is this? I cannot say no to the mums now especially one of them who invites my son and his younger brother every year and insists they both come and doesn’t let me pay. What shall I do?

I think it depends on how you worded the invite to the siblings.

"You can bring sibling along" - I'd expect to pay them in and feed them separately.

"Of course sibling is invited too," - you can only broach in an "I've messed up" way if you are close to them.

This

Interesting! Perhaps it depends on the general party 'culture' in your area. This would be very unusual to me, I wouldn't bring DD's friend a party gift from her little sister if I had just taken her along to the venue for childcare reasons.

Most popular food option round here at soft plays are lunchboxes for each child so there wouldn't be one provided for siblings. They are just for invited party kids. If I take DD2 I just buy her something like I do when I take them myself.

unless all the parents were planning on staying (I wouldn't)

would you at least ASK the host? I find people who drop and run at parties so unbelievably rude. It's a party invitation, not free childcare!

And yes I agree it does depend on wording too. I wouldn't expect siblings to be catered for same as party guests if I'd just been told they could come after the main invitation addressed to DD had arrived, but maybe if it sounded like the invitation was for all of them equally?

But most people want to bring siblings for childcare reasons surely, not because their siblings are close to the party child or because the party child wants little brothers and sisters there, in which case I wouldn't expect to be further catered for outside of being allowed to bring them to the venue.

Unless you have exclusive use the discounted rate will be for entry. How old are the dc and siblings?

In your shoes I would just suck it up, pay for them.

Yes they still do the activity fully for £4. Just won’t be able to sit at the food table. But it’s a Buffett

@EmmaDilemma5 thsbj you for understanding x

No after the softplay the PARENTS and all the kids go to the party room. I don’t think it’s anything stopping the siblings from just sitting at the table. I e got food for the adults too (pizza) so maybe the 3 siblings parents will realise it’s no room at the table and keep the younger ones on adult table with pizza? It’s still the sane party room.

That is awkward! I think if you can afford it you should pay the £60 extra because you told them they could come. If you can't, you'll have to make it clear that they don't get to go into the party room.

You definitely can't let them eat if you haven't paid the extra fee.

@Lougle but can’t they just sit at the adult table as I am buying and paying for chips and pizza for the adults? Everyone is having cake too, I double checked with the host. Even the adults are all eating the cake. I’m paying for adult food. I’m just thinking cos they might even be asleep by the time food is served!

Everyone is going into party room. Siblings are allowed in party room

Why don't you phone the venue and ask?

The only thing with planning for them to sit with the adults is it only takes one to see the party table as more appealing and start a tantrum or crying that might upset any one of the “party children” and distracts from the occasion- all avoidable for £60

Typical MN, OP asks for advice, admits she's messed up and yet most of the responses just reiterate this rather than help. Its such a toxic environment!

Except that's not what "toxic" means

Thing is, I doubt the buffet the venue is putting on will be generous enough to feed more per head than the confirmed number of guests. They usually cater for say, 2 chicken nuggets, half a sandwich etc. each child sort of thing.

Ring the venue and ask for more pizza and chips or suck up the cost to include siblings as party guests

If it's just soft play it will be fine. No one polices the party area other than the parents.

If you haven't been asked to submit food choices then it's buffet style. Perhaps make sure you have a couple of paper cups in case they just put out 20.

Are cones or sweets or such like for party bags included? Is so just take a couple of bags of haribo so you have something to plonk in their hands at the end.

Basically their parents have just decided to take them to soft play at the same time (but you are generously covering the cost). Even if they weren't invited then they could do this x

I've never been bought food as an adult at these things (you normally buy a coffee and cake) so you are already over catering I would say

Is the party even a food time? They are so keen to play they don't eat that much. I really wouldn't worry

I think them sitting with the adults and having the adult food is fine, but maybe just warn the parents in advance so they don’t go running into the room and sit at the table before the main party children get there

Unless you really can’t afford it, you should assume the cost, if you’ve invited them. It will just cause unnecessary and awkward conversations otherwise.