Im Being Controlled

[Boxofstars]

Im so unhappy and desparate and i want to just die.
I met my husband in 1997 i was 19 him 37.
We wed in 2000.
When he bought the first house we lived at it had to be near his ex wife and kids this was 1998.
He said he wanted more kids with me but he made sure it never happened.
He alienated my family from me took pleasure in other women coming on to him and likes to think he is a pay boy as he has a job as a refrigeration engineer.
He thinks im beneath him.
When we moved again it was near his ex.
His now grown up kids hate me and he plays on this.
He goes out to a pub every night without fail we have not had a holiday in years.
He says women like him because he has a nice house he doesnt see the house as mine just his.
We never socialise together.
When i broke my wrist he said the hospital would laugh at me so i delayed going for a week.
When my mum died he didnt care at all.
His son is a cocaine addict and his daughter is snotty and he adolises her.
What do i do.

Leave him? You don’t sound happy at all and he seems like a terrible husband.

Divorce him, OP.

Leave.

He sounds horrible OP. You are still young, you can have a whole other life now without him making you miserable. Please don’t waste it.

Do you want to stay with him for another 5, 10 years of this?
If not where do you want to be this time next year? Start working towards that. House, money etc are marital assets so have to be split 50/50. If you plan to leave don’t tell him so he can hide assets.
See a solicitor if you can.
Speak to Women’s Aid.

He once said he would put the house in his brothers name and tell the courts he paid rent so i dont get any of it.
Should i report him to the police also.
He thinks he is gods gift.
He now has no front teeth very fat and grey hair.
Why is he like this to me.

Please leave he sounds horrible.

He once said he would put the house in his brothers name and tell the courts he paid rent so i dont get any of it.

That's probably a lie but if not there may be ways to prove that he has behaved fraudlently, especially if you contributed money to the deposit or costs. You don't need to go to the police, as it's likely to be a civil case rather than a criminal one, so go and see a lawyer.

I meant report him for controlling behaviour surely what he has done is illegal.
I have never seen his bank account he takes his phone everywhere he sleeps next to it its face access.
Im worried his drug son might do something if i report his daddy he has form with two exes.

You’re a long time dead.
Bit strong maybe but what I mean is, our lives are so very short - is this really what you want for the rest of yours? Sack that ugly almost-a-pensioner off and enjoy some new experiences!

Yes, coercive control is a crime. From what you've said, though, you need to get away from this bully and start your life. Staying with him just to gather evidence could be dangerous.

Can you make phone calls on your own? The freephone, 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247.

In UK law a spouse is entitled to a 50% split of ALL assets. What he's saying about putting the house in his brother's name - not only would that be incredibly costly, it's standard to check conduct for fraudulent activity in a divorce court, so that wouldn't work. He's just bluffing and manipulating you. Take him to the cleaners

Call women’s aid for support to divorce him asap

Do you have friends you can stay with? Or s woman's shelter?

This is 100% coercive control which is a crime.

You know you deserve and can do better, so please free yourself from this poisonous creature. You can be so much happier without him in your life.

Wishing you the best of luck.

It sound as though he used the fact you were a lot younger than him to control you but you're a grown woman now. You need to leave and not waste any more of your life on someone like this.