To be annoyed by people who tell you they want to talk about something, but blatantly refuse to brief you on what the something is, leaving you a bit in the dark?

[soapysu]

I think it’s such a harbinger of doom! ‘We need to talk’ or ‘have you got time for a chat later about something’, or ‘I’ll explain later what it’s about…’

And no further detail, even when you say, go on, tell me! Be it to a friend, in the workplace, your other half, your sibling… honestly just say what you’ve got to say, or don’t bother requesting to talk until the time you actually want to talk. Why cause anxiety in folk for the sake of it? My mind immediately goes 100mph wondering what it could be. I’ve always hated when people do this. Am I the only one??

You are not the only one. It really annoys me too. My mum does it all the time and then turns out to be nothing important 🙈

It makes me worry so much. I don’t know if people do it on purpose or if that’s just my anxiety.

Had this only once from an in law- I asked what it was about and the response was coy. I ignored the phone later and when DH picked up later on and tried to pass it to me I refused to take it. The relative had to tell him what it was all about. I can’t even remember now what it was but it seemed silly to play games like that and I wouldn’t respond.

It does feel like game playing doesn’t it.

If someone does that to me, I’m rooting them to the spot saying “Let’s talk now. It is as good a time as any.”

If they try to make light of it, I say “Well, if you don’t want to talk right now it can’t be important.” Though that’s usually in a work setting.

Normally works and you’ve seized the initiative.

It's power play and attention seeking.If I have something I need to say or talk about it it needs to be done there and then,which probably in hindsight isn't ideal either.

If it happens in a movie or on TV, the person is murdered before they get to spill the beans!

I do this sometimes. It's because if it is an important or emotional thing or I really want someone's opinion on it or need to give it my full attention, I find it really hard to mention in passing, or discuss while doing other things. I'm not good at doing two things at once if one of them is listening or explaining something. As in, the words won't come out of my mouth. It's some sort of stress reaction. I need to know there is a bit of time and space to give the topic the attention it deserves. It's not in order to create drama - quite the opposite. It's to have a calm space to chat.

I do this sometimes. It's because if it is an important or emotional thing or I really want someone's opinion on it or need to give it my full attention, I find it really hard to mention in passing, or discuss while doing other things.

This !
I am really surprised by the previous answer , and by the vote.
If I have something big to discuss with someone, I don't want to do it by text, or when I pass them in the street, or when there are a group of other people around. I would "make an appointment" if you like, to make sure the other person had dedicated time to listen and support / help / advise / take on board what I was telling them / whatever reason it was I needed to talk to them about.

Yes I had a boss do this once, call a big meeting and wouldn’t tell anyone why. When I asked for the agenda it was as if I’d pressed the nuclear button. All staff were ‘omg’.

Silly game playing and also bullying.

Yes but in this case wouldn't you say to your friend/husband/sister "I really want to talk to you about how we are going to deal with - whatever the thing is -Could we meet on Tuesday morning to discuss"

It is the "There is something we really need to talk about but I won't tell you what it is until next tuesday when we meet" that people object to.

DH is prone to give a lengthy preamble to serious stuff personally and at work too although he is really training himself out of this as it dilutes what he really wants to convey. As in "I know you may not want to discuss this and I understand that but I've been thinking and I really do think we need to have a conversation even though you may not think so" I now just say very early on "stop preambling and cut to the chase" you can say all the other stuff later. Otherwise I'll just be wondering what the fuck is up all through the preamble. just spit it out and we can massage how we feel later.

No.
When I was diagnosed with cancer, I needed to talk to my teens F2F about it. Saying 'I need to talk to you all this evening' earlier in the day so they knew they needed to be here made much more sense than saying "I need to talk to you all later because I have cancer" when I didn't have time to talk to them about the next steps, the stats, the prognosis etc.
Now, because in our family it wouldn't be odd to say to someone, "Can we have a chat this weekend" or "Can we have a chat this evening", then none of them thought anything about it. I don't only arrange to chat about sad or serious things. Another day it might be about comparing diaries to be able to book a holiday.

I had a friend who posted “I have big news but will tell you when we’re out for dinner later this week” in the group chat. I was almost sick with the anticipation of what it could be - my mind went racing through all sorts of possibilities. I ended up getting wound up as I had convinced myself she was having a baby and I was (ridiculously) very envious as I wanted a baby and knew she didn’t want any kids. Turns out she had just gotten a new job.

*note: I was very self aware throughout and knew exactly how stupid and irrational it was to feel physically sick with anticipation but the subconscious brain can’t be tamed sometimes! 🤷‍♀️