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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To end a friendship?

4 replies

MrsAnon6 · 22/06/2023 20:58

I could do with some advice as I'm torn and don't want to end a friendship if I don't have to. I have a friend who I met through work in 2014, we became pretty close and confided in each other a lot. We've kept in touch since I left the job but naturally don't see each other as much now we don't work together and now both have children but we meet up now and again.

Recently however I've had some doubts. We rarely get together these days but I was invited to her evening wedding reception in March which I was touched by. However, around a month or so before she asked if I wanted to go for the whole day as they had "moved some things around", I accepted the invitation but had to go alone as my husband and daughter weren't invited as there wasn't enough space for them. I wasn't thrilled about going by myself but thought it was only fair to make an effort for her, fortunately there was someone there who I knew from the same workplace which helped. The drive was 90 mins - 2 hours each way but again I figured a wedding was worth making an effort for. I left at around 10pm as I had a long drive and wanted to get home for my (then) 4 month old but the bride didn't seem too thrilled I was leaving before the end.

We've barely spoken since the wedding, we discussed meeting up and I told her I was free on the day she suggested but then never heard back about it. I also am yet to receive a thank you for the wedding gift which after 3 months seems abit off. I would have thought by now I would have at least had a 'thank you' text.

I'm just wondering if I was perhaps just invited to make up numbers or fill a space that someone else couldn't and perhaps she's not as good a friend as I thought, or maybe I'm just overthinking and being sensitive?! Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Flute56 · 12/08/2023 03:13

i was in a similar position and just had to end the friendship. Life is too short

AliceOlive · 12/08/2023 03:18

Honestly, she has so recently married and her silence might not be personal. Formal etiquette gives her a year to send a thank you. Weddings are wild and I wouldn’t read much into her reaction at you leaving. All-in-all I wouldn’t write her off just yet.

Mamai90 · 12/08/2023 03:18

It sounds like it's run its course anyway, I don't think you need to do any huge dramatics, just let it fade away, don't make any effort. It's so rude not to thank someone for your wedding gift, a text is the very least you should be doing if you're not sending out thank you cards.

suburbophobe · 12/08/2023 03:23

I left at around 10pm as I had a long drive and wanted to get home for my (then) 4 month old but the bride didn't seem too thrilled I was leaving before the end.

I'm stunned by this attitude of hers.

I get it's the bride's big day but hey, she should understand you wanting to go home, you're a new mother!

Oh, and I wouldn't even have contemplated doing a 2-hour drive away both ways with a new baby at home......

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