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Original poster

School mum weirdness

20 replies

WellWellWellWhatHaveWeHeree · 22/06/2023 20:40

So picture the scene there are 2 school mums, they both speak to me independently- they approach me and we have good chats and our kids (year 2) have known each other since nursery. They have boys, I have girls and we've never done playdates as naturally the kids have had different friends and haven't played with each other much.

Now the weirdness is that when they're together these two mums they both hugely ignore me, the other day one waved and started speaking to someone behind me and totally and utterly blanked me - the other one noticed this, looked at me then blanked me too!! It's so weird. It doesn't bother me but what do you make of this?!

OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 22/06/2023 20:43

I wouldn’t bother speaking to them separately at all. In fact I’d totally blank them.

Saucepot1985 · 22/06/2023 20:43

You hadn’t dramatically changed your hairstyle had you? 😂😂

Original poster
WellWellWellWhatHaveWeHeree · 22/06/2023 20:46

Saucepot1985 · 22/06/2023 20:43

You hadn’t dramatically changed your hairstyle had you? 😂😂

Haha no! This is a regular thing, that was just 1 example but its happened loads. They know I'm there, they know I'm me but blank me. It's weird.

OP posts:
IamstilltheWalrus · 22/06/2023 20:57

If they don't even acknowledge you but really blank you, they are just rude.
Ignore them unless you need something from them. Many people are not worth wasting headspace over them.

JenniferBarkley · 22/06/2023 21:02

You're their plan B for chat at the school gate.

Up to you to decide whether you're ok with that or not.

Comedycook · 22/06/2023 21:04

Yes this is definitely a thing. But in general I found loads of the school mums really weird. Some days they'd have really long chats with me the other days would look at me like they'd never seen me before and not say hello. So odd.

DyslexicPoster · 22/06/2023 21:16

Some school mums are just weird like the general population. That's my conclusion with four kids.

I had one mum see me in tears about my dd school refusing. She offered me to go for a drink or a coffee and chat as she knew how I felt with a sen child too etc. Then she blanked me when I tried to seta date.

I think she was trying to get her son into my sons school so fishing for info and when the school said no, she had no use for me. But the blanking imo was over the top weirdo behaviour. I served no further use so therefore its OK to be rude? No fuck that.

GG1986 · 22/06/2023 22:21

I wouldn't read too much into this. I speak to my daughters best friend at schools mum, but it's awkward at times, as we are really different and she is difficult to have a conversation with, I don't see her as a friend and she doesn't see me as friend, there is another mum we both speak to some days, but some days I don't speak to her at all as in a rush or she is speaking to someone else and I don't want to butt in. I honestly couldn't give a shit, I would be happier walking into the playground, getting my child and walking straight out again.

SisterWedge · 22/06/2023 22:48

I think this is very common. I have similar experiences where I thought I'd gelled with a couple of mums, yet get the cold shoulder at school.

Went to pub with one and had great time. Met another regularly at kids sports club, chatted for an hour every week and had lots in common.

However on the school run we may as well be strangers on the bus!

I'm trying not to take it personally. It's groundhog day dropping and collecting kids, there's only so much you can talk about, there's a huge list of things before and after the school run to manage. I hadnt realised with one that he daughter had a massive falling out with another so there was tension between 2 families and the school yard was a conflict zone.

Also people (not me!) have busy lives and sometimes letting just one more person in is just too hard.

Cest la vie!

OrwellianTimes · 22/06/2023 23:00

School run parents are weird.

Guiltridden12345 · 22/06/2023 23:07

the school gates are a very weird place. Queen bees and gossips, over sharers and mutes, one day chatting, next day blanked. I honestly think most of them are completely nuts. I steer clear now - in and out as quickly as possible!

Pinkscaf · 22/06/2023 23:08

Weirdos. Those years don't last long. Focus on those with basic manners. They tend to raise nice DC.

LynetteScavo · 22/06/2023 23:14

They've bitched about you to each other, but both like you a bit and will rather chat to you than no one. You're not good enough to actually be acknowledged as cool or fun or sensible or what ever quality they deem worthy.

Fuck them, I say.

ChildrenOfRuin · 22/06/2023 23:18

JenniferBarkley · 22/06/2023 21:02

You're their plan B for chat at the school gate.

Up to you to decide whether you're ok with that or not.

I’m wondering if it’s that too.

There’s a couple of mums at my DC’s school like that too. Chatty and friendly if they’re on their own, but when their mates appear, then it’s like no other parent at the school gate exists.

Original poster
WellWellWellWhatHaveWeHeree · 23/06/2023 11:08

Thanks all, I have a large group of real school mum friends, proper friends and we socialise a lot. I'm very much a water off a ducks back kind of person so it really doesn't bother me. I just find it really odd!

OP posts:
Babsexxx · 23/06/2023 11:19

I’m going back to doing school runs in September and I can hand on heart say I’ll be as arrogant as I’ve always been on them to avoid this clickyness dropping my child off and fucking straight off…… always in a hurry me! Lol

Return2thebasic · 23/06/2023 11:29

It was absolutely an eye opening journey from reception till now (Y5). In the beginning, everyone was keen and tried to be polite. Everyone tried to chat a little here and there, and went to whatever social events PTA organised. Volunteered and contributed, and etc.

By the 5 year, you know there are certain people who plainly can be bothered to maintain the basic civil manner, as to a nod or a "hi". I learned to not take too much to heart, but still think it's unpleasant and cannot see why not a tiny bit of effort to stay civil.

At the playground these days, the parents for older children all scattered around. There might be a couple of charters, but most just sit in separate corners or standing alone, praying to get their kids quickly and leave. I guess everyone is busy, unless you really know someone who's genuinely interested, otherwise it's just a chore and don't anticipate more than that.

It sounds like you are a nice person. Don't care too much about those who aren't. Spend your energy on something worthwhile other than them.

iceoverhills · 23/06/2023 13:04

At some point these two have said something about you to one another, maybe bitched about you. Independently, they will talk to you because they probably like you but together they need to save face by ignoring you. They have to ignore you otherwise it'd be hypocritical or they think the other friend would think that anyway.

MamaAlwaysknowsbest · 30/01/2024 21:31

Guiltridden12345 · 22/06/2023 23:07

the school gates are a very weird place. Queen bees and gossips, over sharers and mutes, one day chatting, next day blanked. I honestly think most of them are completely nuts. I steer clear now - in and out as quickly as possible!

this is what i have to say also

i am gearing up for the soon coming secondary, not sure what will be for my daughter but hoping for the best

OutlawZeroHours · 09/05/2024 07:36

The only thing worse than school mums is sport and activity mums.

I like women when I meet them as themselves, say at work, but suddenly when they are in mum mode they often become Amanda from Motherland.

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