Me and dp have a shared friendship group from back in college days. One of these people, unfortunately, consists of an ex of mine.
I dated this guy before knowing my dp. Turns out they were secondary school friends. So since finding this out I've tried to go to meet ups with him there but he freezes me out of convos and isolates me from dp. Dp says or does nothing about it but agrees it's rude and disrespectful behaviour on his end.
My thing is, after trying to be civil towards this ex after realising we are bound to meet up again due to our mutual friends, he has only made me feel like a twat for it, even when i thought he didnt deserve me treating him with common courtesy. Consequently I want nothing more to do with him. However me and dp have just been invited to another massive outing with the group and of course ex will be there. I don't want to go but I also feel dp should not want to go too.
Maybe I'm being too overly emotional about it all but after dp first hand experiencing him disrespect me to our faces and knowing our history and what he has done to me, I feel like he should show support by not going to these events and being friendly with him (which is what he does because he isn't a confrontational person).
Dp feels like he has done his part by not being overly friendly with my ex. However I just feel its abit pathetic having my to be husband making formalities with my ex knowing what he done. For context my ex did something horrifc to me which he never apologised for. I know it would mean whenever ex is there dp would have to back down of any outings and he hates missing out. I don't want him to not go and hold him back but at the same time I wish he had my back.