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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Burnout! To get signed off work

42 replies

Stressedgiraffe · 22/06/2023 14:53

I'm reaching burn out. I'm off in 2 1/2 weeks to get a mastectomy and will be off for a couple of weeks. I'm working flat out atm but am getting further behind as I can't focus even though I'm up most nights at 430 and try to start work but due to my adhd ( on medication) I'm faffing. Doesn't help that I have too many meetings too many projects to juggle and not enough time to do anything

My work is great and will pay me full pay while I'm away. But I'm so burnt out.
Wibu to go to the doctors and get signed off before the surgery?

OP posts:
Chocolatelover3 · 22/06/2023 15:00

I’ve been signed off a few times since I started working 13 years ago and I found that each time having a couple of weeks signed off really helped my mental health. It’s not easy on sick pay but was worth it to me. You said your company pay full sick as well which is helpful.

The last time I was signed off was the beginning of this year - I asked doctors to sign me off for a week and then called my boss to let them know I was feeling down and burntout and that I had been signed off and will send the doctors note to him

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 22/06/2023 15:07

I might get the first week of July off. I just feel guilty as I have so much to do

OP posts:
Xrayvision · 22/06/2023 15:08

Please@Stressedgiraffe stop working now- read back what you have written and think what you would advise a friend if she said that to you. You are about to undergo surgery in what is presumably a stressful (medically) time for you, unless working keeps your mind off this then it is perfectly reasonable to take sick leave now. If for nothing else, to give you the best recovery from your surgery. Look after yourself and I hope all goes well for you x

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 22/06/2023 15:19

Work does and doesn't. I'm still getting my head around the fact that it's cancer. The consultant isn't sure about chemo as they may get it all so I'll need more time off so I feel like I'm taking the piss if I take time off before if you know what I mean

OP posts:
ButImNotOldEnough · 22/06/2023 15:35

@Stressedgiraffe you have cancer and are having a mastectomy, the fact that you’re managing to focus on work at all is a miracle. In this circumstances I’d absolutely recommend getting signed off before your op, I’d also see if it’s possible to be signed off for a bit after your recovery time too. This is a huge thing you’re going through and you need the time and space to be able to come to terms with it and deal with your own health. Good luck Flowers

ButImNotOldEnough · 22/06/2023 15:36

And it’s 100% ok to focus on your health at this time too, it’s not taking the piss!

murasaki · 22/06/2023 15:49

It's about as good a reason as it gets, take care of yourself and do it.

Mabelface · 22/06/2023 15:51

Fuck work, they can replace you but your family can't. Time to focus on you.

BounceyB · 22/06/2023 15:54

I think you should do it. More likely than not, your employer sees that it's affecting you and will be sympathetic. I hope the mastectomy goes well x

Mercurial123 · 22/06/2023 15:56

Can you get reduced hours? I had a mastectomy three years ago and found that work was a great distraction, though my job isn't really stressful. I had a month off work after the surgery. It was a really quick recovery much easier than the lumpectomy I had a few years before. Good luck, and hope your surgery goes well.

lauraisa · 22/06/2023 16:04

Good luck with your surgery! You need to take care of yourself - your health is everything. No shame in taking time off.

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 22/06/2023 16:20

I'm taking 10 days off after I hope that's enough. I've just been thrown under the bus by someone at work saying I haven't delivered something that it due tomorrow which will be done. Ffs I'm almost about to go to the doctors tomorrow and fuck them all!!

OP posts:
greencheetah · 22/06/2023 16:22

Honestly OP, as one jungle creature to another Grin get signed off tomorrow.

You need all your reserves to get through your treatment, and stress has a huge impact on your health.

Please don't keep battling on. Flowers

Mercurial123 · 22/06/2023 16:23

Stressedgiraffe · 22/06/2023 16:20

I'm taking 10 days off after I hope that's enough. I've just been thrown under the bus by someone at work saying I haven't delivered something that it due tomorrow which will be done. Ffs I'm almost about to go to the doctors tomorrow and fuck them all!!

I had a very quick and easy recovery, but there was no way my surgeon would allow me to return to work 10 days after major surgery You have to be really careful to ensure the internal stitches heal.

Get signed off, you don't need the stress.

Candleabra · 22/06/2023 17:10

That’s not burnout. You’re ill. of course you’re finding it difficult. Put your health first and get signed off.
Work (and especially projects) will passively make the right noises about putting you first but if you’re cracking on and delivering they won’t stop you. Put the boundaries in place and step back.

littleblackcat27 · 22/06/2023 17:15

10 days??

I would have thought you need 6 weeks minimum to recover from any major operation, Take care of yourself OP.

FaffingChampion · 22/06/2023 17:15

i’m just hopping on here because I feel the same way (also have adhd, also working at stupid hours of the day to try to stay on top of things, struggling with focus etc). And I don’t have the worry of a cancer diagnosis on top of that, so you’re doing well to be carrying on at all right now.

I feel like I just go round in cycles of feeling overwhelmed, anxious, tearful, depressed and generally feeling I can’t go on like this but I don’t know how to get out of it.

I keep wondering does everyone feel like this, is this just a normal way to live? Or am I burnt out?

Augend23 · 22/06/2023 17:27

I think you need to be kinder to yourself and to your body. Your body is going to have to work really hard over the next few weeks - healing after a major operation. You need to give yourself the best reserves possible to equip it to do that. I would be getting signed off tomorrow and not coming back for a month at an absolute minimum, probably longer.

Hollyppp · 22/06/2023 17:35

ButImNotOldEnough · 22/06/2023 15:35

@Stressedgiraffe you have cancer and are having a mastectomy, the fact that you’re managing to focus on work at all is a miracle. In this circumstances I’d absolutely recommend getting signed off before your op, I’d also see if it’s possible to be signed off for a bit after your recovery time too. This is a huge thing you’re going through and you need the time and space to be able to come to terms with it and deal with your own health. Good luck Flowers

This!

KathieFerrars · 22/06/2023 18:07

I had three weeks off after my first lumpectomy. You are going to need way more than 10 days plus the sentinel node bit hurts like buggery.

The work will be there and someone will deal with it. You are more important than any work. Go get signed off.

dickheed · 22/06/2023 19:27

Ffs I'm almost about to go to the doctors tomorrow and fuck them all!!

Do it. Fuck them all. You are absolutely not in any state to be working. And never mind saying you'll need time off after the operation so you would be taking the piss by having time off now. No, you need time off now. You've got so much going on. After the operation have as much time off as you need, fuck them.
Do not cut short your sick leave and recovery time just because some twats at work don't like it.

I have to have a very minor operation in autumn but it's something that takes different lengths of recovery time depending on different circumstances afterwards and it might make some things in everyday life difficult for a while until it settles. You wouldn't believe how many people have already told me how long I will need to recover - ie. a couple of days. FUCK YOU! I am disgusted at how people have reacted to this and it's just reinforced for me that most people do not give a flying fuck about someone else's health.
The only person that does give a fuck is you and family members (I am single with no parents alive and no siblings so in my case it's just me).
Because hardly any one gives a fuck, it is all the more important that you give a fuck and that you tell people to fuck right off.
I will be doing that too - I will take as long as I need to recover from my operation and anyone who doesn't like it can get to fuck.

Get the fuck to your doctor OP and get signed off so that you have enough time to let your body rest before the operation so that you're in a good place physically and mentally. And all the best!

CottonSock · 22/06/2023 19:30

Go off now and for at least several months

PurplePear7 · 22/06/2023 19:45

Please don’t be worried to take time off! Work isn’t going anywhere and your health is so much more important.

Original poster
Stressedgiraffe · 22/06/2023 20:13

I've spoken to dh ( who is currently out of work so doesnt help my anxiety about taking too much time off) and I'm going to go to the doctors tomorrow for sleeping pills. And speak to work about finishing a week earlier. At present I'd only be off from the day of the operation.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 22/06/2023 20:15

You have a mastectomy coming up so I'm assuming there's been a whole world of shit leading up to it and ongoing. Of course you should get signed off. Work will cope. What would they do if you got hit by the proverbial bus etc etc.