To be secretly loving that DH is away?

[OhBling]

I am self employed, work from home. DH works part time, locally but out of the house on a sort of semi-shift basis.

He's currently away for a long weekend. I'm working as normal but even so, I'm feeling this glorious feeling like I'm at home alone and it's so lovely. I can't quite work it out becuase I'm often at home alone for ages while he's working and the kids are at school. Maybe it's becuase I just feel like I don't have to think about what might happen when he comes home from work or adjust myself or my activities?

The weird thing about this is that Dh is the most laid back, chilled out and accommodating man on the planet! So it's not even like I'm scurrying around cleaning before he comes in or whatever! Maybe it's a hangover from a dad who WAS a pain and who did make us all feel like we had to frantically make the house how he wanted it before he got home from work!?

Also, cleaners came yesterday and sun is shining so there is a lovely sense of calm!

I feel sort of bad about how much I am enjoying this! (although, I might not feel the same way after I've spent all weekend ferrying DC around!)

I love it when DH isn’t here. Not because he’s a pain or I don’t like him or anything like that, just love a bit of me time.

Nope, sounds fantastic. I occasionally go to a hotel just to be completely by my own.

YANBU

My DP travels a lot for work. I love it.

He's a brilliant person. He's not a man baby. He's funny, kind, considerate, tidy. We're partners. We're equals. We have a fabulous life together.

But I fucking love it when he goes away for a few days.

I love the feeling of the house being entirely mine.

I love having more freedom with my evenings - DP like to chill watching TV but I get a second wind at about 8pm and like to clean or do something productive.

I also really like getting a glimpse of single life. I had a vision as a teenager that I'd be a single, cosmopolitan kind of woman. I am absolutely not that but, for a few days, I can pretend.

I look forward to my DP being away with a completely inappropriate level of excitement. I plan meals composed of foods he doesn’t like, watching stuff he’d hate on tv, it’s like a little return to singlehood. I used to feel bad about this, and would think of Paul and Linda McCartney said they never could spend a night apart. I’m over that.

Kid free, yes. Stick doing all the parenting with all the same mess etc, I judge your weirdness 😂. Needless to say, when DH is away all weekend leaving me with 3 aged 8 and under, I shall miss his housework and childcare company

Covid meant that I didn’t get any time home alone from March 2020 to probably February 2022. It was AWFUL!

@AllThatTwitters oh yes, DS and I are planning to eat a lot of seafood and shellfish while he's away as he can't/won't

@SleepingStandingUp yeah, I'm conscious I might not feel this way at the end of the actual weekend. Kids are a bit older though so it's definitely easier than if he'd gone away a few years ago. Bed time is less onerous, there's no night waking and they sleep in/entertain themselves when they DO wake up.

My dp works away for two months at a time. I do miss him. But to do enjoy the space too 😁

I hate it when dh is away. I miss him. However I also hate it when he wfh during the day. I like to be able to come and go as I please during the day and get stuff done around the house in between work stuff. And I love the feeling of having the house to myself. He doesn't stop me doing what I want in any way when he's here. I just feel like I can't for some reason, totally in my own head, and it gets right on my nerves!

Dd2 is now also off for the long post gcse summer and always here. I am praying she gets a job!

YANBU! I love my DH very dearly but god, I absolutely love it when I have the house to myself! Which is funny because he is also super laidback, I do what I want when he is around but I don't know how to explain it, I just love time on my own too 😂

I love it when dh is away, somehow it feels like less work being alone with the children than when he's here.

Yanbu, and it's why I'm single. I just feel free.

I love being home alone. It's something I always yearned for when I was working long hours and never had the house to myself. My DH is a very easy person to have around, but sometimes I enjoy not having anyone else in the house.

When I retired and DH was still working I gave a lot of thought to making sure he got some home-alone time too. It turns out that he hates being in the house by himself. When I was working and he was a SAHP he didn't know what to do with himself when the children were at school all day, and he's just the same now.

Ditto. I wish my DH would work away sometimes!

When he has gone away for a night or two, it's lovely. I can eat what I want to eat, watch what I want, no compromises on the TV remote, etc.

I love him, and am always pleased to see him when he's back, but that bit of me time is bliss.

He feels exactly the same when I go away!

I'd go mad if I didn't have time alone in the house. I'm dreading retirement when we're together all the time. Not because I don't like him but I like doing things on my own and being by myself for some time.

My DH weekly commutes. I love it when he's home... but love the freedom when he's away too.

The only problem is people think I must be lonely in the evenings as I can get up to three phone calls a night and sometimes I just want to enjoy random stuff on TV.

Me too! It was also what led me into solo travel when the kids were older because it was the only time I ever had to myself without having to think about anyone else and able to stick to my own schedule without having to add so many breaks to it where I get to see little.

When my DH decided to wfh I was crushed because I had been counting down the days until my youngest was in reception so I could finally have the house to myself for more than 90 minutes since our oldest was born (7 years) while my DH had the house to himself constantly because I had to take at least one child with me everywhere.

My DP goes away a lot and I LOVE it! Nothing against him but I just really do love being alone. I love the quiet, not having to talk, only having to think about myself (well and the kids obviously!).
I never understand why people hate it when their partners are away for brief periods. I know it's tough with small kids but once the children are older and more independent then I can't see any problem.

I like it too! It's that little bit of pressure taken off, and having to think about one less person for a bit!
Agree, it's bot expectations of cleaning etc. but the freedom to eat when I want, and what I want without having to consider someone else's preferences.
Even with young children still to look after it's just a bit more relaxing for a few days!
@BastetsWhiskers I always ask for this as a birthday present - hasn't happened yet! A night or two in a hotel on my own would be lovely! Even a Premier Inn would do!

I have to say, it's a real relief to read all these posts. I sometimes worry about how much I enjoy it when he's away! He's lovely and a great husband but I feel so relaxed and free when I'm alone (not that he ever expects anything of me). Glad to see others feel the same.