Someone complained about my child at sports day!

[SackRaceComplainer]

DC is 8, Y4. Has SN including dyspraxia.

For sports day every child has to take part. DC has some adjustments for sports day so they can fully take part.

Even with their adjustments they still come last in every race.

Someone has complained about the sack race and how my DC had an unfair advantage. DC started roughly half way along the track in their sack, had help to get in from staff (which the others didn’t) and then was picked up when they fell over while doing it whereas the others had to get themselves to their feet, DC had insisted they wanted to do this race – they were told they did not have to do it.

DC still came last and finished about 2 minutes after the other children they were racing. DC also fell through the finish ribbon thing onto the grass and had to be helped out.

And someones complained to the Governors about DC starting in a different place and that giving them an unfair advantage even though my child came last. Apparently starting half way along the track was an advantage.

Apparently it was taken straight to the governors, and I was informed as I was asked by the HT if she could share with the governors why DC started where they did because it’ll help the governors to decide if it’s an Reasonable Adjustment for DCs condition or whether in future all children start in the same place - I was just picking DC up for an appointment and was told this. HT says she doesn't agree it was an advantage.

My DC struggles enough as it is, just being upright is hard for them and now someone is complaining. DC was thrilled to even finish the sack race, they don’t care where they placed! The person who complained as a child in my DCs class – as it's been mentioned by name on the class whatsapp, and they’ve been together since Reception so said parent will have a fairly good idea of why DC started where they did.

Whats likely to happen now anyone know?

Ask the head teacher for a copy of their response.

If it's about your child you should be entitled to see it!

Probably because the head doesn't trust herself to respond without calling the parent an absolute prick.

Is it any wonder people don’t want to be teachers dealing with crap like this.

What the hell is wrong with some people. Shame the head and governors didn’t just shut it down with a general comment about some kids being given a head start in order to achieve equity and they cannot divulge more.

I would be disappointed that the head needed to involve you in this at all. She shouldn’t put you in the position that you have to report your child’s SEN to the governors.

Also it obviously wasn’t enough of a reasonable adjustment. Next time he should start half way up the track AND start a minute ahead of the other kids.
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Just wanted to add that at the schools my kids are at, the HTs have been extremely good at shutting down any complaints or ‘demands’ from parents extremely quickly and firmly to the extent that I have realised that this is a core skill required for the job. So I just don’t believe any HT would entertain this nonsense complaint, yet alone escalate it to governors.

These people never whine about the daily advantages they and their kids have by not having a disability/condition do they?

This post made me so mad I almost cried. I'm glad everyone is equally outraged.
I know its petty but I would make sure everyone knows who made the complaint and why and let them make utter fools of themselves. If of course your DC is OK with their needs being spoken of.

Disgraceful, dreadful behaviour by the complainant and quite appalling to upset you with this info by the school, actually.

It's inconceivable to me that there would be any other response to your kid and others in similar situations, than to cheer and be genuinely chuffed for them once they'd passed the finish line.

This one parent sounds like an utter gobshite. Obviously feels justified in their complaint so I'm sure they'll not exactly keeping it quiet- to which I'm sure (and hope) that they will be met with disgust!

My kid was ALWAYS last by miles. Not dyspraxic but much smaller than her classmates (she is still tiny). It was shit to watch and hurt my heart. This complaining parent is an arse. MAYBE (very much maybe) if your kid had come first after the adjustment then they may have had a point but all this did was come somewhere near to bringing your kid up far enough to compete.

💐

Granted I am quite weepy today but this has really made me upset. DS1 has dyspraxia and is always last in everything. This year he's only in the discus event as he did not even want to participate. The idea of another parent being so fucking cruel and so fucking stupid is distressing. (And I know they are out there... he also has autism and one parent helpfully told me she thought he was a psychopath (actual word she used) because he struggles wirh eye contact.)

Just hug your beautiful child and if you can feel pity for someone so lacking in empathy.

What a sad person! I’m so sorry OP. A joke of a complaint.

This is ridiculous. Nothing will happen except this parent being seen to be ridiculous. I’m sure your school does have your back but they can’t stop someone complaining. As the parent of 4 children with dcd I know all about the challenges of sports day lol. We also had adjustments like this. It took 2 staff to get my youngest into the sack last week and it was a struggle! Thankfully none of the other parents ever thought badly of it.

The OP said that the complaint was made directly to the governors.

I'm a school governor. We would usually refer the matter back to the HT if a parent has bypassed the standard complaints procedure, but I accept that some chairs might choose to respond directly.

I feel quite embarrassed on the part of the parent who has complained tbh. She has made herself look a right twat.

I disagree with the poster who said that the governors should issue something that explicitly gives teachers the power to make decisions like this. We don't need to give permission for staff to comply with the law by making reasonable adjustments where appropriate... that is a basic expectation tbh.

The governors' role is mainly about directing the strategy and managing risk, providing appropriate support and scrutiny and holding the HT/senior leaders to account. We don't get involved in operational decisions of this nature and nor should we. Our role is to ensure that there is an appropriate equality, diversity and inclusion policy in place, and to monitor the implementation of that policy. However, it is the role of the staff to actually implement it and make the day to day decisions.

I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this, OP. I guarantee that the governors will think the complaint is ridiculous and give it the short shrift that it deserves. Well done to your plucky little DC for being willing to give it a good go!

What kind of miserable lowlife would even think to make a fuss about something like this? I guess you have to pity someone who is so intrinsically horrid inside that they would actually air their views about a disadvantaged child maybe being given a little chance of winning something in their life.

The head shouldn't have even bothered you with this petty shite. I'm sorry they bothered you with it OP - don't even give it any headspace.

I have been on two governing bodies and neither of them would do anything other than say hahahaha, stop being a twat (in marginally more polite language)

Honestly some parents are so competitive and stupid. I'm sure it was perfectly obviously to those watching why your child had extra support.
Well done to him/her for taking part.👏

chair of governors large primary school.

the head wouldn't allow this to come to me. we have a complaints policy and this parent would be provided with a form and told to fill it out. if they filled it out then it would be managed by the head. the head would reply in writing. if the person wasn't happy with the reply then it would come to governors and I would meet with this parent along with two other governors.

this would never involve you. I wouldn't know why your child required adjustments or indeed who your child was. I would simply hear from our SENCO and class teacher or head of year that child A required x adjustments and this is what they received. The parent would then be told that the school was operating in line with best practice.

what I'm trying to say is that we have worked very hard to remove all 'excitement' out of all of this. we go to procedure and policy and stick to it.

if they complained again at any point about this same subject they would be dealt with under our vexatious complaints procedure. the ultimate sanction would be to ban them from the school including sports fields.

again it would be very get anywhere near you and I'm sorry you even know about this. its not fair or right.

I'd bloody call them out on your chat or whatever when it has been mentioned;

"I'm aware someone has complained about DC starting the sack race part way and receiving assistance when they fell. As you are no doubt aware DC has a disability and even with assistance came last. I would hope people can understand sports day is never going to be about the winning for them it's the taking part and even that requires a little bit of assistance. I hope your children never have to struggle like this and would hope a more inclusive attitude can be adopted going forward." Feel free to add a "fuck you" at the end!

Well all that has happened is that the complainant has shown up their own idiocy twice over, by making their horrible prejudices apparent and by demonstrating that they have no idea of the role of school Governors.
Don't give this any headspace OP, and well done to your DS for completing the challenge.

Some people just complain for the sake of complaining. It's the taking part that counts.

I think it's possible that the school felt they had to go back to the OP because it would be difficult to respond to the complaint without acknowledging that the OP's (already identified) dc required reasonable adjustments. Arguably, this might be considered to constitute personal information about the OP's dc which they can't share with a third party without consent. Certainly, there would be no need to share further details.

I guess the alternative would have been to have issued a no-explanation response along the lines of "having investigated the situation, we are satisfied that the race was conducted fairly and that appropriate decisions were taken by relevant staff; due to data protection, we are unable to share any further information regarding this situation."

OP said the parent went directly to the Governor's, the school didn't escalate it.

I don't even see why the OP needs to explain/respond.

I'd have thought a 🙄would suffice.