Someone complained about my child at sports day!

[SackRaceComplainer]

DC is 8, Y4. Has SN including dyspraxia.

For sports day every child has to take part. DC has some adjustments for sports day so they can fully take part.

Even with their adjustments they still come last in every race.

Someone has complained about the sack race and how my DC had an unfair advantage. DC started roughly half way along the track in their sack, had help to get in from staff (which the others didn’t) and then was picked up when they fell over while doing it whereas the others had to get themselves to their feet, DC had insisted they wanted to do this race – they were told they did not have to do it.

DC still came last and finished about 2 minutes after the other children they were racing. DC also fell through the finish ribbon thing onto the grass and had to be helped out.

And someones complained to the Governors about DC starting in a different place and that giving them an unfair advantage even though my child came last. Apparently starting half way along the track was an advantage.

Apparently it was taken straight to the governors, and I was informed as I was asked by the HT if she could share with the governors why DC started where they did because it’ll help the governors to decide if it’s an Reasonable Adjustment for DCs condition or whether in future all children start in the same place - I was just picking DC up for an appointment and was told this. HT says she doesn't agree it was an advantage.

My DC struggles enough as it is, just being upright is hard for them and now someone is complaining. DC was thrilled to even finish the sack race, they don’t care where they placed! The person who complained as a child in my DCs class – as it's been mentioned by name on the class whatsapp, and they’ve been together since Reception so said parent will have a fairly good idea of why DC started where they did.

Whats likely to happen now anyone know?

That parent should of been told by the Governors that the school does not tolerate ableism any more than it tolerates any other type of bigotry. I dont understand why they even told you.

@Shitzandgigglez trust me, no child with DCD would win a race even with a half way head start (unless racing against others with DCD!).

All the head start does is minimise the amount they come last by. As a parent of a child with DCD, it's heartbreaking to see them come sooooo far behind everyone else EVERY SINGLE time.

A child of 8 will 100% be aware of how far behind they are compared to their peers and that can cause them to stop wanting to take part, to avoid the humiliation. Giving them some extra help to make them feel less self conscious helps them maintain self esteem and keep them wanting to take part.

What an absolute knob. I'm really surprised this wasn't just squashed by the HT. what an absolute waste of time.

I would explore all over the class What's App - consequences be dammed. How dare such as horrible parent target a child with a disability. Your poor DC. I would be telling the entire class the X's parent complained that your child with a disability was given reasonable adjustments to help them take part in a primary school evet. As this parent is so obviously ableist and lacking in the more basic level of human decency, perhaps the school can do more to build empathy in the children. Try and break the cycle.

That’s disgusting behaviour. We had a lad who’d lost his legs at my kid’s junior school and he always started quite a way along, of course that’s what you do. The parent at your school would’ve probably exploded with rage at the race he used his wheelchair in and won by miles - he obviously got the biggest cheer of the day.

Having been the dyspraxic child in this situation, yes, coming last all the time is awful. But personally I always absolutely hated people cheering for me. It felt more patronising than sincere 'Oh, look at Steady doing this basic thing that everyone else can do, isn't she good?' And worst of all for me it drew attention to my dyspraxia and far from making me feel included I felt my difference from the other children more keenly than ever.

But the story above where the whole class crossed together, that I would have loved because my difference wouldn't have been so effing obvious.

I am not sure why I am posting. Well, 2 reasons. The parent who complained was an arse obviously.

And to point out that sometimes the cheering for the dyspraxic person isn't doing what you think it is. It could make them feel worse.

it is the school’s response that I find most appalling in this scenario

I wouldn’t want my child at a school with staff, a head and governing body like this. Let alone a child with extra needs

Urgghhh, the other parent sounds awful. Don't worry about it OP -my DS is dyspraxic too and hated sports day because he always came in last and I'd have loved it if his school did this (and he still wouldn't have won ;)

Why is it the fault of the staff, head and governing body that another parent is batshit?

The way they have responded. Read the OP and follow up

Because they're humouring the batshittery.

If I complained to the Governors that Miss A had died her hair ginger and I didn't like it so could they please investigate what would happen? Nothing. They'd basically tell me to jog on. If I complained that I didn't like that year 3 came out at 3.10 and it would be better for me at 3.15, they'll not investigate.
If I complain that a child with disabilities had an adjustment made to enable them to compete and my able bodied child, you easily beat them, didn't get one, thru should be throwing it straight back. Not asking for medical evidence to see if school were reasonable with a view to in future not allowing her such adaptations

I'm sorry this has happened OP, I think the above is totally on point but I would also ask if the class can do anything on disability inclusively as well. Unfortunately these parents attitudes can start to rub off on the kids.

I found personally by year 5/6 there was a core group of classmates who were very jealous of the adjustments I had to allow me to work at the same level as them, they were even vandalised once no idea if the teachers found who did it and did anything. Its incredibly selfish but your going to come up against it again for sure :(

I'm dyspraxic and my first sports day was so awful (because of the other parents laughing and pointing, the kids were fine) my mother refused to send me to the next one. Horrified to see some parents are just as twatty in 2023 as they were in 1993.

OP, I think most people will be judging the complaining parent harshly. It will be obvious to most people that your DS was given an adjustment and that the parent is being ridiculous.

This has actually boiled my blood OP. Im raging on your behalf

i simply cannot believe this happened. I am so sad to read this. How on earth did this not get shut down immediately

Only a proper cunt would do this. I only hope the governors will treat it with the short, sharp contemptuousness it deserves.

It would only be an advantage if they'd won the race as they'd had less far to go to the finish line. The fact they came last shows that it couldn't have been such an advantage and was an adjustment.

Hopefully once the governors have finished getting irate at the brass neck of this cheeky cow, they'll respond that it was a reasonable adjustment and she should wind her interfering neck in!

I doubt the schools complaints procedure is go straight to the governors. I'm a school governor and would direct the parent to the teacher / head of year / head as it's not a governor issue unless they need to escalate it.
Hopefully that is what the governor that received the complaint would have done and hopefully the head will tell the parent to have a bit more compassion and respect.
I'm sorry they felt the need to even mention to you.
If your child doesn't get support next sports day I suggest you make a further complaint of your own.

I’m a teacher and frankly I’m surprised that such a complaint would even be entertained for a second! It makes me really cross and I despair for children who have parents setting that type of example. Children need to be taught tolerance, inclusion and empathy and adults who can be so ignorant and petty should not be allowed a voice. Well done to your child for persevering and finishing the race, I hope they got a huge cheer from all the decent, normal minded people who were watching. You should be very proud of your child. ❤️

What a prized prick! Honestly this just takes cunty parents to the extreme. It’s a school sports day for fuck sake, not the god damn olympics.
My ds goes into reception this September and has sen, if anyone dares make some sort of comment along these lines, I’ll be punching them out myself. No need for that type of bitchines.

This brings back memories. DS3 has dyspraxia, though it wasn't diagnosed until later. At the end of Sports Day the whole primary school ran round the field where it was held. My son was always way behind but I remember the rotund and frankly, non athletic, headmaster running along beside him and the parents cheering them both on. If it's a comfort OP, it hasn't held him back, he's a great young man and succeeding in his chosen career, which includes being on a committee that tries to improve opportunities for those experiencing neurodiversity.

Oh god, now Sports Day is woke!

Oh my lord, this is the worst. Who could look at a kid struggling but still pushing themselves and proudly finishing…and think ‘hey, how come they get help?’

I really hope this parent is on Mumsnet, is recognising this story and is utterly mortified at how they’ve acted.