To think my Dsis is rude

Fruittwist12 · 2023-06-21T21:49:42+00:00

It was DS birthday yesterday. My Dsis text me wishing him a happy birthday. She lives 15 mins from me so not far. She doesn't work either so no daytime commitments. However she's made no effort to drop DS present off or even text me to say oh sorry ill drop his present off on this day. Its not the present but principle. Dsis has form for this kind of stuff. For some reason when it comes to anyone's birthday or mothers/fathers day she tries to find someway to blow up or passes someone off in our family. Aibu?

Gettingfleeced · 21/06/2023 22:53

She remembered his birthday and sent birthday wishes. Just because someone doesn't work, doesn't mean they have no commitments. She might have been seeing friends, running errands, feeling unwell or a million other things.

EatThoseFrogs · 21/06/2023 22:55

If it wasn't about the present, why isn't the message enough?

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 21/06/2023 22:58

Did you invite her round? Do you always so presents in your family? Is money tight for her?

WandaWonder · 21/06/2023 23:02

I would be fine with this

Thyroidlady · 21/06/2023 23:04

Totally fine. People are busy even if they don’t work and she sent a text.

toomuchlaundry · 21/06/2023 23:06

How old?

ChesterAndRaoul · 21/06/2023 23:36

It's not the present but the principle?

If it wasn't about the present then surely the text would have been enough? What else are you expecting besides the present?

Is it about a visit?

Have you asked her round? It doesn't sound like you've planned anything so perhaps she thought you didn't want visitors. Some people don't like popping over unannounced.

Also, why doesn't she work? If she can't afford a present maybe she is feeling some pressure from you which is why she hasn't been round... And just based on this post I'd imagine the pressure is very real.

In what way has she got form?

Without further info on this it's hard to vote.

2chocolateoranges · 21/06/2023 23:39

She did text to wish them a happy birthday that’s a step further than my kids get from a couple of their uncles. No birthday wishes from 2 uncles for the last 4 or 5 years. That’s life and our teens have accepted it.

our children are the centre of our world, not everyone else feels the same.

WonderfulUsername · 21/06/2023 23:40

Its not the present but principle

So like a PP said, why wasn't the birthday wishes enough?

Tempone · 21/06/2023 23:43

It's about the.present because she wished him happy birthday. You sound a bit judgemental tbh

Isittimeformynapyet · 21/06/2023 23:45

"she tries to find someway to blow up or passes someone off in our family"

What does this mean, please?

Original poster

Fruittwist12 · 22/06/2023 07:38

Isittimeformynapyet · 21/06/2023 23:45

"she tries to find someway to blow up or passes someone off in our family"

What does this mean, please?

My birthday she started an argument with me as apparently I didn't speak to her as much anymore. But I always make an effort with her plus we have our own families and I work.
She started on my dad on father's day and didn't drop his present off and told him to F off at a joke he made the day before.
Mothers day she fell out with my mum can't remember why. My mums birthday last year she fell out with her and didn't speak to her for months. She only made up with her at Xmas because she wanted presents for her family and her.

Thing is she expects us all to deliver presents on time which is the norm for most people unless you live far. However it's different rules for us. It's the effort that's bothering me. She can't make a 15 min journey for her nephew

OP posts:

Enko · 22/06/2023 07:42

I'd do a modified version of hers.

So birthday texts for her birthday and partners. No visit no present. Then if she comments simply say. Oh I figured that's how you wanted it since you did so for ds/my birthday so I was following your lead.

If she says nothing it may be where she wants to be with birthdays.

Littleroseseverywhere · 22/06/2023 07:44

I think she’s behaved fine, you obviously want people to slag her off and say she’s rude. But I think what she’s done is fine, she’s remembered, sent wishes, nothing wrong there.

Dreamer8 · 22/06/2023 09:28

A gift is not an expectation

SnapPop · 22/06/2023 09:32

None of my three DC have never received a birthday present from their uncle (DH's brother) 🤷‍♀️

GoodChat · 22/06/2023 09:33

Does he normally get a present from her?

I don't really see the issue here.

Lacucuracha · 22/06/2023 09:36

Thing is she expects us all to deliver presents on time which is the norm for most people unless you live far. However it's different rules for us. It's the effort that's bothering me. She can't make a 15 min journey for her nephew

Stop giving her presents! She is an adult and taker.

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 22/06/2023 09:38

My son was 7 in April.

Still waiting for brother to acknowledge it...

Some people are just pricks.

phoenixrosehere · 22/06/2023 09:44

Fruittwist12 · 22/06/2023 07:38

My birthday she started an argument with me as apparently I didn't speak to her as much anymore. But I always make an effort with her plus we have our own families and I work.
She started on my dad on father's day and didn't drop his present off and told him to F off at a joke he made the day before.
Mothers day she fell out with my mum can't remember why. My mums birthday last year she fell out with her and didn't speak to her for months. She only made up with her at Xmas because she wanted presents for her family and her.

Thing is she expects us all to deliver presents on time which is the norm for most people unless you live far. However it's different rules for us. It's the effort that's bothering me. She can't make a 15 min journey for her nephew

Show quote history

You can either choose to match her effort or do what you like for her and her family.

She acknowledged his birthday. If you want to get her children gifts for their birthday or do as she does, it is entirely up to you as it is her way to acknowledge birthdays.