AIBU to leave the NHS whilst trying for a baby?

[Feliciacat]

I am at my limit with my job. I don’t want to be too outing but I’m admin in the NHS in a field I’d like to work in; I’ve put myself through a professional qualification this year to improve my knowledge and I try really hard to help my team in the hope they’ll develop me. I’ve been direct about wanting to develop and go higher. I’ve been told they will let me shadow things but in reality, they and I are too busy to do any development.

My typical day is: Go into the office and man the phone with nobody to ask questions to (so service users get annoyed with me). Stay all day with no flexibility just in case one of my (exclusively wfh) coworkers wants to send me a letter to print and post. I’m very resentful over this arrangement; I wouldn’t mind if everyone came into the office but I genuinely sit alone in a sweltering hot office all day just in case anyone wants things posting. I also hated how some new people started and were told they could wfh full time because ‘the admin’ (that’s me) will always be in the office if they need anything.

I also miss out on learning because I sit alone all day. I know I’m responsible for my own learning but I funded myself through a qualification and I read the Trust policies to get my understanding up. It’s just not the same as having a manager to develop me or having coworkers to talk to about the profession. We haven’t had a manager for seven months so that’s part of the problem.

Under usual circumstances I would obviously leave because they treat me like a submissive rather than a peer and there’s no development opportunities. However, I’ve been hoping to have a baby this year (seven months of no luck so far). The NHS has good paid fertility leave if I need it as well as family friendly policies. AIBU to quit my job? Would the private sector have me if I were trying for a baby and needed time off for fertility appointments? I’ve been getting stress headaches and literally 5/9 people on my team have quit in the last six months and the posts are hard to fill. I’m expected to absorb work with each person who quits. And yet I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere.

If you can tolerate it, I'd stay put as NHS maternity/ fertility leave is good, but bare in mind that a lot of NHS trusts will expect you to return to your post following maternity leave or they want your occupational maternity leave pay returned, so only stay put if you could face returning after you've had the baby (which hopefully will be soon for you, fingers crossed).

Thank you @Caribun, that’s a really kind response! I had feared posting on AIBU because they say people are pretty fierce here haha.

Yeah I could really be shooting myself in the foot by leaving. Today I got told off because I was trying to sort out a project that someone who’s off with stress had been meant to do…I was told I’d left it too long but I am only helping to get it done and I didn’t realise my coworker was having an actual breakdown and not working effectively on their work. If we had a manager then it wouldn’t be me picking up the pieces. The job makes me very unhappy so it’s a tough one.

Unless you’re planning on pausing ttc then stay in the job you’re in. You wouldn’t be entitled to any enhanced leave if you got pregnant within 12 months and you might not be entitled to statutory if you got pregnant earlier.

I would look at other NHS jobs in the same type of role because it will count as continuous service even if you move organisation. Are there other NHS organisations in your town/area? You might get lucky and find a better functioning one. You sound like a great employee 🙂

Stay
Get signed off sick due to stress
As part of your return to work request WFH at least part time - to get you back to work from off sick they'll agree to that I bet
In the mean time keep trying hard for a baby (gravity worked wonders with mine after 6 years of TTC simply laying down with my legs in the air for 30 minutes worked x2! Second baby only took 2 months to conceive due to this)
Then use that well earned mat leave

Good luck off

Thank you @Sissynova. A thing I forgot to mention is that my pay is low (band 3) so the difference between my full monthly pay before tax (£1900 pcm) and maternity allowance (£774 pcm) is not massive. The difference between my half pay (£950 pcm) and maternity allowance (£774 pcm) is not big at all. Then after that, it’s only SMP and unpaid anyway.

My partner pays the mortgage and bills (I am very lucky). This job is just so I can start a career. A year on and I feel like I will not get a career here! We also have no childcare so I would need to give up work/I want to give up work for a few years if we have a child. I guess I thought NHS maternity pay would give me more savings than maternity allowance from the government would. That’s about it. It’s just hard because I don’t know how long it’s going to take to get pregnant so I don’t know whether to move now or stick it out.

Get job hunting but within the NHS- ideally stay in the same trust as it makes things washer. Both the trusts me and DH work in are crying out for admin so you should find something easily enough.

@planthelpadvice that is so so sweet! Thank you :) I do try. I love the field I am in for sure and I do like my coworkers on a personal level. Just not on a professional level. Maybe other NHS jobs would be better, it’s true.

@Whatisithatido ah the evil genius technique, eh? That’s a smart plan. I will also try the legs in the air technique! Thank you for your reply.

@LittleOwl153 I guess I am scared that everywhere will be like where I am now. I think your advice is solid though and it’s certainly worth a try at other NHS jobs. Thank you.

OP I'm sorry you're in this position. I work for the NHS in a systems leadership role and having excellent administrative support is essential to the work I do. In my team this includes includes everything from database management, to project management and comms. I consider team administrators to be colleagues not lesser in any way but rather experts in their field. Excellent administrators are worth their weight in gold and should be invested in and grown. Unless there are plans on the horizon to get you and your team some really good leadership support I would be seriously considering other roles. I would stick with the NHS if you can re: your plans for starting a family and maximising service history and benefits. But remember NHS includes ICBs, NHSE and a wide range of different organisations many of which will have remote posts available thus widening your geographical reach. With the increase in funds coming into our ICBs there are lots of opportunities emerging that could offer real growth and develop particularly in the field of project management.

This is the best advice IME....the same in my trust with crying out for admin staff, so I'm sure you would find something. You also know what it is about your current job you don't like, so can ask appropriate questions in advance of applying to make sure it's a good fit. Good luck!

@abbysalias thank you for your detailed response! You sound like a fabulous manager! I will consider those options, I appreciate it.

Stay and view it as you making sure you get the mat pay that you've already earned. You get the full occupational package if you return for 12 weeks. So the first 5 weeks is annual leave you accrued, go back in for 1 day. Decide it's unbearable and get signed off. Hand your notice in once you're past 12 weeks returned - because both annual leave and sick leave count for that. Then when you want to return look at other nhs jobs because it can be a great place to work.

I would move. ‘Enhanced’ maternity pay is not really that much (9 weeks pay? Minus deductions) That’s 2 months take home pay. I stayed on a job I didn’t like for 3 years TTC. I could have got a local government job in that time and accrued their maternity pay which is 6 months full pay. Probably would have got pregnant a lot quicker without all the stress

2 months net pay probably maximum £4k. For the sake of another 2 years doing a job you hate?

If you don't plan on returning to work after your maternity leave has finished you will have to pay the enhanced mat leave back.
If you're unhappy then look for something else in the trust, there is plenty of jobs. Good luck OP

Nhs mat pay is 8 weeks full pay then 18 weeks half pay plus SMP then 13 weeks if SMP. But of course you also get a years worth of pension contributions which is not to be sniffed at and the return for 12 weeks includes accrued annual leave so 5 weeks you aren't expected at work anyway.

@MooMa83 thank you; that makes me feel so much more positive about applying for other things!

@fuckmyuteruslining your point about pension contributions in particular is very heartening. Thank you for presenting the advantages that I hadn’t considered.

@Fluffyowl00 that’s so true about stress! At what cost is my happiness and what if stress if affecting my fertility? Thank you for your personal experience.

@pecanpie101 yeah this is true about paying it back! I definitely have some things to think about, thank you.

I really appreciate all your comments! I feel very heard and that has really helped me. I think I will look for other NHS jobs and try and endure this one until then. The pension contributions whilst on mat leave are worth holding onto so I will try and survive this place a bit longer. I’m getting the ball rolling with my GP regarding my fertility on Monday so fingers crossed I can have a baby sooner rather than later.